I need help.

Santipower · 2019-10-18T19:30:33+00:00

You need to go to a psychiatrist, in this place they tend to underestimate mental health. I recommend you go to the specialist.

Also do not blame women for your problems unless someone has done something directly to you and in that case it is their exclusive fault, misogyny is a circle that only generates frustration in men.

ValhallaBoundBoy · 2019-10-18T19:36:16+00:00

It doesn't sound like you hate living. It sounds like you hate your life. Your life is just one very narrow possibility for living. Take your spirit walk and head to the other side of the country and start over, aiming for the lifestyle you want.

Xralius · 2019-10-18T21:11:28+00:00

When you are feeling your worst, and your life seems awful, and that it's not going to get any better, the irony is that your life will almost assuredly get better, because you are at the low point now. Think of the stock market. People tend to panic and freak out and "sell" after a big downturn... But really that's when they should be buying!

I would echo not falling into the trap of blaming women for your problems. It might be cathartic, but catharsis has been proven to be detrimentally habit forming and is not healthy long term.

It is absolutely understandable to be feeling the way you are. Relief is in your future.

One thing to remember is that people likely care about you VERY MUCH, they just don't know how to help, or they are scared to help as they don't want to hurt you by making a mistake. That's just human nature.

It's a good idea to see a professional psychiatrist in your situation. That's what I'd do.

And remember, the possibilities for the future are endless; you have the potential to have a great and happy life! Things get better, and it's DEFINITELY worth it to hold out and see what good things life might have in store for you.

Source: I've felt very similar to you.

SarcasticSalmonella · 2019-10-18T19:13:05+00:00

Love you too

Blutarg · 2019-10-18T21:08:29+00:00

Please seek therapy.

erenthia · 2019-10-18T22:06:49+00:00

I'm shocked by some of the comments here and I've been around for years. Listen, things will never be perfect, but they can get better. I don't know how old you are or what your situation is, but if you're not economically independent that's a good place to start. And yeah, people have always minimized the suffering of men compared to women. And yeah, that can be really demoralizing. But you can be the one who doesn't do that. You can be the one who shows compassion to men and speaks up for them. Try not to focus on how the world acts on you. Try to focus on how you will act on the world. I know that's not easy. Believe me, I'm right there with you. But you can do this. I've dealt with suicidal thoughts for a couple decades now, and the truth is that there's only so much other people can do for you. Especially the rank and file who have no understanding of what you're going through. No conception at all. In the end, you just give yourself one more day. And then another. I'm not saying there's nothing anyone can do to help. Find a therapist you trust. But in the end, the power to deal with the world is something you can and will find in yourself. Drag yourself forward. Do what you have to do to survive. Trust the right people. And eventually you'll start to see things changing for the better.

acutepresence · 2019-10-18T21:34:28+00:00

I don't know where you're from and what you're going through, but I'm sorry to hear that you have it so hard. Over here, things are changing - slowly - but they are changing. There are a lot of vested interests in keeping males suppressed from both the industrialist side (who wants an expendable workforce) and various other political interest (who act on malice and spite), but more and more people are recognising it. The most visible changes are in the boys, who are no longer treated like (or expected to be) robots who are expected to lift themselves by their own hair - and neither can you.

As far as finding value in life goes, that's a far more complex issue. It sounds like you have a medical depression, and one of the key components in depression is losing sight of all value and losing faith, which is thought to be a feature in itself to get you to detach and get out of a bad situation in life, but if you drag it on for too long the neurochemical balances can become pathologically eschewed. Looking at it this way, like a de facto medical issue, rather than only a life issue is a good start, because there is help to be had and you will be able to see value in things again.

Another thing with depression is that you focus a lot more on the bad. Sure, people normally will - tell them nine good things and one bad, and they'll focus on the bad, but with depression it's even worse. Sure there's a lot of bad things out there, but there are a lot of good things as well - and you can force your gaze towards them. Focusing on the bad stuff really helps no one, you're tired and you feel alone, and feeling even worse won't really help you make a positive difference either. You're suffering, you feel alone and you need to start taking care of yourself and try to heal on your own, so be kind to yourself, because you deserve it, the effort of getting back on your feet is hard and painful enough as it is without adding to that load. I know there are those out there who think that turning into a sort of stone-hearted "soldier" is the solution, but it's not really, you'd be sacrificing the only thing of worth in life.

People are often self-absorbed but will respond when you tell them that you need help, so I hope you do, there is no virtue in doing everything by yourself anyways - let people help if there are any there and seek out professional help. I hope things go well.

💛

EphemeralWitness · 2019-10-19T02:08:44+00:00

I’m very sorry you had to go through this. Just know that despite how terribly people treat you, we understand your suffering, and we care about you, even if we don’t know you. Don’t ever think that your suffering is meaningless no netter what anyone tells you. I do think you should seek professional help or confide in someone close to you who is a responsible and compassionate person, although I have heard that such people don’t take men’s suffering seriously. If you ever feel really bad, you can call the Suicide hotline, or is 1-800-273-8255.

I don’t know if you believe in God, but if you do, you should pray to him, because he loves you very much and cares about what you’re going through. Even if you don’t have all the answers, you can trust that he has a purpose for your life, and it isn’t to kill yourself nor suffer meaninglessly.

unseemlycad · 2019-10-20T11:03:57+00:00

I have had many of those thoughts brother. Feel you. Haven’t had em in a long while now tho. So I thought I’d share some captain obvious advice which helped me.

Set an alarm and even if you don’t want to get up at the same time every day. This routine really helps to regulate evil morning me.

Eat a breakfast which includes some protein in it. Do this first thing. I try to avoid surgery jams and juices as they usually come with a sugar crash and a badly judged e-mail at around 11am. I’ll tend to go with a BLT and a black coffee these days. This one is something I never used to do and I was the frikin grinch till lunch as a result. Big difference for me.

Once I eat, I try and leave the house earlier than I need to so I can be outdoors before life/work. If possible, the ideal thing would be to do some exercise. It’s just a game changer for my brain. Personally I like to Rollerskate but you may not be in a permanent mid life crisis. Do your thing if you can. If it’s just not possible however sometimes I just drink my second coffee on the steps of my building. Bright light and fresh air combined with a moment with my own thoughts helps slap me in to positive for some reason.

Stop drinking alcohol/smoking weed/taking drugs as much as is possible. I used to have the casual 2 tins and a zoot a night in front of the TV and didn’t notice the change. When I stopped (not completely, just in the week) I felt A LOT better within 2 or 3 weeks. This is the hardest one for me but also probably makes the biggest difference.

I know it’s obvious. I know it’s just Mr Plucky, PMA bullshit. I know I sound like a right cunt. I know. But honestly stuff like this made a big difference to me. Not a cure obviously but things got at least 50% better. Take care of yourself please. You matter in this world and we want you in it.

EvilLothar · 2019-10-18T19:19:56+00:00

Nobody hates you. At best they are probably indifferent to you, at worst they just don't really care. This is basically the human condition. The phrase "Every man is an island" is a truism that we all need to accept.

Stop looking for validation from others. Stop trying to look for acceptance and meaning from outside yourself. Is there any hope for the future? How the fuck should we know? What are you going to make of your future? Nobody is going to give your future to you, it's yours to shape into what you want it to be.

What help are you expecting from others? Get off you ass and help yourself. Expecting someone to make you happy, or give you help is giving up control over your own life. IT'S YOUR LIFE, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH IT?

Yes, women's welfare will be put above men's. This is how we survived as a species. Men are expendable. That doesn't mean as an individual you have no worth.. but your self worth is something that can only be described and claimed by you. Nobody else can tell you what you are, or who you should be.

So, the actual question you didn't ask is "What am I going to do?"

This is something only you can answer.... What are you going to do? Are you going to make plans for the future and have a great life, or are you going to sit on the internet and bitch and moan about how nobody is holding your hand and giving you shit?

menstruatrix · 2019-10-18T19:48:32+00:00

/pol/ is kinda like the Facebook experiments with making people depressed cranked up to 11.

MRA-automatron-2kb · 2019-10-18T20:35:17+00:00

If you spend time reading here, you will learn that men are constantly gaslighted about their problems being lesser and women's problems being worse. Out in society you have to be like camouflage while doing what makes you happy.

I hope you can find a good counselor or friend who understands you.

Good luck!

CretanArcher_55 · 2019-10-20T21:24:54+00:00

I can't give you much advice myself, but I can point you somewhere you might find useful. I would look into the philosophy of Stoicism. One issue a lot of people have is trying to find a solution to talking about their issues while not trying to be vulnerable. You might find some answers there.

Beyond that it does sound like you need to see a Therapist. Best of luck, whatever your choose.

Title	I need help.
Author	Sapcecadet
Upvotes	52
Comments	28
Date	October 18, 2019 7:09 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/djs8fz/i_need_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-need-help.866749 https://theredarchive.com/post/866749

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