Self-posted, per usual, from here with a little extra commentary:

How many guys have gone through this? That "yes, dear, you're always right, dear" mentality that makes so many of us miserable.

Why do we put up with it?

More importantly, why the hell do we let it go on for so long? Is it because you still see good in a person? Is it because after a while you start to believe what they say?

Why do we (men and women) stay in terrible relationships for so damned long?

Read on:

So I got a reply to that email that I had sent. The very first line she was on the defensive, telling me that she didn't want to draw this out into an argument She then proceeded to throw pretty much every little thing that I had done wrong in my face and use those as reasons for doing what she did. She used my failings as a parent and a person (of which there are many, admittedly) as an excuse to spy on a person that she didn't know and was an innocent bystander in this whole ordeal.

What I came to realize is that this is pretty much par for the course. Instead of acknowledging that it was how I felt she went on the attack and resumed accusing me of hiding things from her, things that I still feel that she has no right to. She claims that she wants to be knee deep in my social network because she wants to make sure that I'm not doing anything that isn't in the best interest of my kids.

Let me run that by you again: she wants to see that I'm not doing my boys wrong and she thinks that if I was I'd brag about it on my Facebook page.

I'm just going to leave that alone for now.

What I wanted to write about is how as soon as I opened the message from her I was not surprised in the least. It was business as usual in the never-ending struggle against my ex-wife (and another good excuse to use hyperbole to describe "us not getting along"); thinly veiled personal insults, baseless doubts about my ability to parent my children and then an accusation-masked-as-a-query regarding the fact that my boys don't get to spend a lot of time with me and they're not happy about it.

Aside: I know they're not happy; I tried to change my parenting time schedule but she thought that it wouldn't be a good idea and refused. NOW she wants to throw it in my face and try to make it as if I did this on purpose by telling me "you quit your job and took this one so it's your fault." Hint: Didn't quit, got let go

This is pretty much par for the course with her; if I start to balk at her self-assumed sense of absolute authority I get attacked. Before this point I would sigh, shrug and slink back to my corner with my tail between my legs. I would allow myself to think that maybe she was right; maybe I wasn't what the boys needed. Maybe I was a bad parent. Maybe they would be better off without me. A few times, during the truly low points in my life, it almost got to the point where I was ready to give up.

Then I would sit up, wipe my nose and reassure myself that this wasn't the correct course of actions and my boys needed me. I'd go an assert myself until the next time I got beat down and the whole cycle would start over again. Not only did this describe my post-divorce life and relationship with my kids, but it pretty much described my marriage. I wasn't really allowed to have an opinion and anytime I offered it I was written off like some sort of fool who didn't know any better. A condescending "yeah... right" meant that I was dismissed, that I was a stupid man that didn't know anything about anything and she really only listened to me as if to humor me and my silly little ideas.

I didn't realize how badly she had gotten to me; whenever someone would say that I'm a good dad or a decent person I would respond with "Naw... I'm nobody special", which was the most obvious proof that I had been minimalized and dismissed as a person, a dad, a human being for far too long. It took several people grabbing me by the face and saying "No. You are an awesome dad. You are a good person. You are, despite your fuck ups, doing a great job and I am proud of you" before I started to think that maybe they were right...

... and she was wrong.

She didn't like it when I bypassed her and sought out information for myself. She didn't like that I took a position volunteering at their school and there was nothing she could do to keep me away from them before class started. She doesn't like the fact that I told her, flat out, that the only ways she would be involved in my life were the ways that involved my children. She absolutely dislikes the fact that I will not "set up" a meeting between my girlfriend and insist that (if she really wants to get to know her after this she can message her on her own time) and I know that she positively hates the idea that I will no longer allow her to manipulate me.

I won't promise a revolution or anything spectacular but this is just the beginning. She won't be able to belittle me or make me feel inferior. I'm going to choose my words, and my battles carefully but once I've decided to fight for something that I feel is right I won't back down. Will I compromise? Yes. Most certainly, but I won't be handed the short end of the stick (see what I did there?) any longer.

I know, I know. I make big words and boastful promises but in reality all I want is the best life for my boys.

...I'm just slowly realizing that "the best life" for my sons is one where I'm in it, no matter what she thinks.

TL;DR: You probably know (or are) a couch potato, but may not know that the term is the legal property of Robert Armstrong, who trademarked it in 1976.