Is it possible, as a man, to avoid taking responsibility for a pregnancy in a relationship by stating so in a document similar to a prenuptial agreement?

Hamakua · 2010-10-27T17:09:48+00:00

Nope.

Just nope.

The problem is that the obligation for child support is not to the mother but to the child. There's no way to avoid creating responsibility to the child insofar as you created the child. Sorry, man, it's an interesting thought, but there's no way to do it.

Plus, the contract would be voided at law anyway as being against public policy. A woman cannot contract away her reproductive rights (nor can a man, for that matter)

kloo2yoo · 2010-10-27T16:58:29+00:00

in a word, no.

http://www.divorcesource.com/research/dl/paternity/99jan1.shtml

eta: this was written by an attorney, whose CV is here

dakboy · 2010-10-27T16:42:49+00:00

i saw that discussed a few times in the archives.

my interpretation is that unless you're an anonymous sperm donor, you're on the hook no matter what.

you have three choices: condoms, a vasectomy or trust. if you're in a committed relationship and can't trust her on something like this, attempting a contract isn't the right approach, better to address the trust issues and if necessary break up.

edit: example in the UK: http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2007/dec/04/gayrights.immigrationpolicy

Xhiro · 2010-10-27T18:46:13+00:00

dakboy · 2010-10-27T20:11:43+00:00

Get a vasectomy.

Get it documented (including test results) by a physician that you're fixed.

Then you can at least prove that the kid isn't yours, therefore she's committed adultery, which might help your case in court.

2010-10-28T01:39:46+00:00

Yes, you have the right to die after conception. Otherwise you're stuck with it, and if you take on a father role, you're stuck with it even if it isn't yours.

Le_Chimp · 2010-10-28T03:33:34+00:00

My idea is similar. as child support is to the child not the mother any agreement with the mother is irrelevant.

Now could we have a side contract, if the woman chose not to have an abortion she will be liable to pay the man a penalty equal to any such child support payments the man it legally entitled to make. Now we have bypassed the child, the man is still paying child support so his legal obligation to the child is met, the mother has to reimburse him the same amount due to the contract.(kinda like insurance contract where the insure has to cover any losses you incur)

Ma99ie · 2010-10-27T17:50:30+00:00

The practical (though not legal) answer to your question is, "Yes." Because as soon as you present that document to the gate keeper, you are no longer the key master.

ShakeyBobWillis · 2010-10-27T17:19:43+00:00

In a sense. The problem of a woman becoming pregnant against a man's will has a lot of similarities with rape. She might have consented to cuddling, but not getting a cock shoved up in her. In the same way a man might have consented to sex, but not being fooled into having his sperm used for a pregnancy. The only difference is that the trauma comes afterwards in the case of the latter.

It's alas an issue that you can only truly safeguard yourself against with a vasectomy(a condom has a 2% failure rate with perfect use).

Dawgz83948 · 2010-10-27T16:44:39+00:00

Yes, put on a condom or make damn sure she's on the pill.

mutatedpuppy · 2010-10-27T23:41:09+00:00

Unfortunately not.

DiscontentDisciple · 2010-10-27T23:57:24+00:00

You can't make a contract with the Child, but you may be able to make one with the mother that would require you to be reimbursed for Child Support Payments in the event that she's negligent in taking her Birth control or something.

I'm not sure how enforceable it would be, but at least it's with a party who can consent over an actual cause, though you'd have to prove she was negligent, rather than just really unlucky.

2010-10-28T01:21:33+00:00

Yes, it's called a vasectomy.

ladywonderlux · 2010-10-28T02:30:30+00:00

Why would you want to dogde the bullet on your own child?

pcarvious · 2010-10-28T04:19:42+00:00

Most states don't care. They'll tag you with child support even if there is a written agreement stating otherwise.

Detox1337 · 2010-10-28T10:44:53+00:00

IANAL but if I was going to try and cause this effect I'm pretty sure the direct route would fail. I wouldn't even try to get out of the child support. What I would do is get a contract with the woman that says she is bound to reimburse me all child support payments paid to her and any other related expenses/court awards. You'll still have to pay child support..but she'll have to give it back. Make sure there is a personal guarantee or she can just declare bankruptcy and get out of it. Personally I think if you can talk her into this I'll be really fucking impressed.

Liverotto · 2010-11-04T04:50:24+00:00

If I am not mistaken in pre-WWII Italy you had the option to "not recognize your son", that is, you declared that you were not the father.

On the other hand we are now living in a feminist society so there is not even the possibility that what you say could be implemented, let alone be enforced.

Other than marriage, children are the major way through which women enslave men in our damned society.

Get a vasectomy, but don't tell her about it, keep trying to have children, work real hard, because sometimes trying to get something is better than actually getting it.

stemgang · 2010-10-28T01:47:29+00:00

It's called the male abortion, and no, it doesn't exist.

If a woman gets pregnant, she can nominate any plausible male to make 18 years of child-support payments, and legally, he must do so.

Title	Is it possible, as a man, to avoid taking responsibility for a pregnancy in a relationship by stating so in a document similar to a prenuptial agreement?
Author	Dragonator
Upvotes	11
Comments	80
Date	October 27, 2010 4:29 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/dx8mt/is_it_possible_as_a_man_to_avoid_taking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/is-it-possible-as-a-man-to-avoid-taking.1046452 https://theredarchive.com/post/1046452

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