Men Can't Be Raped

BlackMRA-edtastic · 2014-06-21T19:28:01+00:00

Explaining how men can be raped by women is a challenge especially when dealing with a non believer. The stories of these men can be hard to find and the whole involuntary erection thing seems to stretch their imagination meanwhile women's involuntary lubrication isn't an questioned.

BlindPelican · 2014-06-21T19:54:00+00:00

I think you're spot on to be offended. And really, maybe even a bit scared. An attitude like that is a sure-fire way to shut down an avenue of support if you ever needed it.

Sometimes things like this need a bit of perspective. I'm not defending her attitude, but honestly, one of the biggest hurdles we have is simply getting people to understand the personal nature of a man's experience.

So many people don't "get it" until it comes home to roost. It's not until their son, father, uncle, boyfriend, husband, or male friend has experienced something that they realize there might be something to what we talk about.

What I might suggest, if you're inclined to address this, is perhaps read to her or have her read some of the stories on Toy Soldiers

If she continues to scoff or deny, put it in personal terms and just ask her:

"What if that was me?"

Gittiup · 2014-06-21T20:09:37+00:00

Ask her if she thinks if some women who get rape, get wet. The obvious answer is yes... Male sexual stimulation/biology works the same way. Ask her if she knows what morning wood means.

She has a hard time envision a situation where men are raped by woman. Majority of the time women just aren't as violent about it because the men are generally stronger. So they need another factor for that to happen; the incapacitation of the man. Where as man on woman rape over powering there victim isn't as much as an issue most of the time. Women raping men aren't as common as men raping women, but for her to say men aren't, is asinine.

jcea_ · 2014-06-22T09:11:33+00:00

It should actually be relatively easy to show them they are wrong even without having them accept that an erection is partially involuntary.

Simply ask them is its possible to be sexually attracted to someone and still not want to have sex at that point in time with that person? It really can be that simple.

Say a man thinks a woman is gorgeous and given other circumstances would have sex no questions asked but he happens to be married and in love so he says no. The women pursues aggressively. The man has an erection because she's attractive but that doesn't mean hes ok with having sex. The women corners him against the wall and rips his shirt open and takes a picture with her phone. The women then tells the man theres two ways this will happen either he has sex with her or she will send the text and tell his wife how good they were in bed. If that doesn't work she throws herself against the wall hard and says she will call the police.

An example of rape that requires no understanding of how erections actually work and if you can get them to accept that men can be raped by a women at all then the other things start to be easier to get them to accept.

Visimicus · 2014-06-21T22:05:04+00:00

you should have just laughed it off and said "ok mom" It is likely being dismissive of her dismissive opinion would have forced her to discuss it with you.

Edit: after reading other posts, try to compare involuntary erections to laughing when tickled. Some women do feel pleasure when raped, but that doesn't mean they are enjoying it. It is physical reaction that can't be controlled.

BlindPelican · 2014-06-21T20:03:57+00:00

i had a situation the other day where this seemingly innocent girl i worked with and i had drinks after work and i was gonna give her a ride home when she very suddenly mounted me in the drivers seat and we started making out, whereupon she progressed really quickly to saying, "i want you to fill me up" and other really fast-moving sexual shit. well i'm kinda inexperienced in this domain, and decided it was impractical to have sex in the front seat (the back had a bicycle in it), and decided to tell her that, "i think i want to deny you tonight... i want you on a bed, sober, y'know?" I actually did want to deny her at this point because I had a change of perspective, now seeing her as someone who just gets whatever dude she wants and who has a lot of sex where she probably often takes control and forces the issue, which i didn't feel too awesome about. So she says fine take me home. Back at her place she can't let me in because her roommate, and so we start making out again when she hits me with this really antagonizing, "TN86 you're not going to fuck me right now? Are you fucking serious? I want to fuck you right now, right right now.... etcetc" to which I cave and end up having really awful sex with her in the front seat of my car. Boners were lost and had to be reconstituted, she wanted no condom but i said, "i need to be careful about my health", orgasms had by nobody, closest i'll probably feel to being guilted into sex, and idk if i'd call it rape, but she had a way of making me feel like she's gonna lose interest in me unless i do it right then, and internally my manliness was called into question.

2014-06-22T02:50:28+00:00

Chivalry is shit. Many women are bigots.

Inbefore121 · 2014-06-22T05:34:27+00:00

I'll help you out with that.

First hand rape experience (reddit):

http://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1ml17x/i_dont_know_where_to_post_this_so_im_posting_here/

News story of a Toronto man who was gang raped by 4 women:

http://ww2.nationalpost.com/m/wp/blog.html?b=news.nationalpost.com/2013/04/07/four-women-wanted-in-alleged-sex-assault-of-19-year-old-man-in-downtown-toronto

Another first hand story of a man raped (reddit):

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1olv2h/im_a_manand_i_was_raped_cross_post_roffmychest/

Statutory rape victim ordered to pay child support:

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1996-12-22/features/9612220045_1_pay-child-support-child-support-behalf

Another male rape victim:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikd0ZYQoDko

Judging by the way your mother said what she said, you've got a tough battle ahead of you. Good luck.

freemale101 · 2014-06-22T08:52:32+00:00

A guy can easily have a boner even though he doesn't want to fuck. Not to mention, guys can have erections just because of physical stimulation, even if they feel their situation at the time is repulsive. Heck, when I was younger, I would get erections all the time for things that were only vaguely sexual. No means no. It doesn't matter what a man's reason is for not wanting to have sexual relations with a woman. No means no, and if a woman proceeds anyway, it's rape.

Let's give a couple examples -- not even difficult ones, just the easy ones to drill it into your mom and sister's stupid heads.

Say, there is a guy who is physically attracted to a woman. But, he suspects the woman has HIV. Or maybe he doesn't know if she has HIV, he's just worried about it. He doesn't want to fuck, but he has a boner. He says "no." She fucks him anyway. That's rape.

Say there is a guy who is physically attracted to a woman. However, he's deeply religious and he's saving himself for marriage. He doesn't want to fuck, but he has a boner. He says "no." She fucks him anyway. That's rape.

Say there is a guy who is physically attracted to a woman. However, he's afraid of getting her pregnant. He consents to receiving a blowjob, which he enjoys, and he has a boner, but he doesn't want to fuck. He says "no." She fucks him anyway. That's rape.

Say there is a guy who is physically attracted to a woman. However, he has a girlfriend or wife that he is very committed to, and he has decided not to have sex with the woman. He has a boner, but he doesn't want to fuck. He says "no." She fucks him anyway. That's rape.

Say there is a guy who is physically attracted to a woman. However, he knows she is a skank and she has a bad reputation. He has a boner, but he doesn't want to fuck. He says "no." She fucks him anyway. That's rape.

Say there is a guy who is physically attracted to a woman. However, he knows she is batshit crazy, vindictive and unpredictable. He has a boner, but he doesn't want to fuck. He says "no." She fucks him anyway. That's rape.

Say there is a guy who is physically attracted to a woman. The woman is drunk. He is a student at a college that has a very draconian policy against drunken sex with other students. He could get kicked out of school if the drunk woman wakes up and regrets it later and reports him to campus police. His school is known for circumventing due process in their investigations. He says "no." The woman fucks him anyway. That's rape (of the guy, not the woman).

Say there is a guy who is not at all attracted to a woman. The woman is butt ugly and has bad teeth. He gets a boner anyway, but he doesn't want to fuck. He says "no." She fucks him anyway. That's rape.

Say there is a guy who is not at all attracted to a woman. The woman is butt ugly and has bad teeth. However, the guy has a boner, because a different woman ten feet way from him is naked. But he doesn't want to fuck the ugly woman. He says "no." The ugly woman fucks him anyway. That's rape.

Say there is a guy who is not at all attracted to a woman. The woman is butt ugly and has bad teeth. However, at the moment, there is porn on the television with some really hot girls in it, that the ugly woman has put up on the screen. He doesn't want to fuck the ugly woman. He says "no." Ugly woman fucks him anyway. That's rape.

Fact is, it doesn't matter why a guy says no. He could say "no" only because he's tired, he's an asshole, whatever his mind can imagine. If she fucks him after he says "no," that's rape.

Not to mention, guys can have erections just because of physical stimulation (or even no stimulation at all), even if their current situation is repulsive. This is a known fact.

MRSPArchiver · 2014-06-21T19:18:36+00:00

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2014-06-21T22:54:44+00:00

i heard this before

WellArentYouSmart · 2014-06-21T23:51:07+00:00

Show her this video and see what she makes of it.

You need to make her empathise with victims, since she isn't at the moment. Show things from their perspective, and she might.

Jaws_Elevator · 2014-06-22T07:30:46+00:00

The whole men can't be raped argument is so ridiculous it makes my head spin. Ignoring the pressured into having sex definition of rape some people use, which can also absolutely happen to men, I'm pretty sure a woman could hold a gun up to your head and force you to have sex with her. News flash: That's rape.

Nomenimion · 2014-06-21T19:59:56+00:00

Any man in America who faces a woman in court gets raped.

freemale101 · 2014-06-22T01:23:58+00:00

Well the term "rape" has been corrupted. It used to mean a male plunging his unwanted penis into a vagina...then it got "redefined" to include fingers, or any object...then it got "redefined" to include touching the outside of the vagina (i.e vulva) without inserting anything...then "rape" got mixed in with Buggery (i.e anal penetration) to mean the same thing...and now its been "redefined" to include a female putting an "unwanted" penis in her mouth etc...even 'fondling' genitals, I think. Legal definitions of course vary, and my info is not exact and unsourced...but you get my point. Do I agree with your mum? Yes. I don't think a man can be "raped"...but that's according to MY definition (i.e penis plunged into a vagina). However a man can be "buggered", which I think is worse that "rape".

On a second point there is the notion of "psychological rape". Now I believe men get "psychologically raped" all the time. How?? Well a young sexy female waving her unavailable body under the nose of a male is a form of "rape" too. It extorts a sex-tension out of the male. Its a form of aggression. Sexual Bullying. Of course society passes this off as "Nature". And of course its not the same as "physical rape" however this phenomenon (i.e cock teasing) needs some smart sociological analysis.

Title	Men Can't Be Raped
Author	mrjomanbing
Upvotes	58
Comments	47
Date	June 21, 2014 7:18 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/28qokn/men-cant-be-raped/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/men-cant-be-raped.1618608 https://theredarchive.com/post/1618608

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