To be clear, I've taken a long journey the past few years from an academic liberal to many red pill moments and conservative sympathies, so maybe I'm reading too much into things out of resentment, anger, and disappointment. I also realize that I can't share many specific details here out of fear of becoming even more of an outcast from my field.

I spent many years and collected a ton of student loan debt earning a Ph.D, which started from an academic journey as a terrible high school student who spent a summer homeless before entering community college and working my way through school (with the help of debt). I can confirm all of the stereotypes about getting an advanced degree in liberal arts, from indoctrination into cultural Marxism to postmodernism, ideological professors, etc.

I learned two foreign languages, completed a decade of coursework, passed prelims, wrote a 500 page dissertation, obtained major fellowships from the federal government as well as a very prestigious postdoc fellowship with a national US museum. Recently, I published my first full-length academic book, along with several well-received articles. I've even given interviews with several magazines. In the past 3 years, I've taught over 20 classes at a local community college.

Yet no uni will even send me rejection letters for academic jobs. Most of the job posts are for non-Western or openly feminist or ethnic studies fields. I wrote about a dead white man, and I am a white, straight male. I am stuck earning about $2000 for every semester-long class at a community college that treats adjuncts poorly.

Would it be wrong of me to harbor some justifiable resentment, here? Or, perhaps I am misplacing my rage. I have zero proof that I am being judged for the color of my skin or nature of my gender and not the content of my character. But when the silence is deafening, it is hard to not think along those lines. It has gotten to the point where I'm about to give up on a decades-old dream for factors that I have no control over. Am I paranoid and just bitter?

Thanks for reading.

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