Redditor getting an abortion without telling the father because she's afraid he will leave. Reddit is being supportive of this.

ThrustVectoring · 2010-10-03T22:51:54+00:00

I'm actually going to be supportive of the woman's position. The man obviously doesn't want to be a father, since they both consented to using birth control while having sex. I don't see that there's that much of a difference between taking actions before sex to prevent having a child, and taking actions after sex to prevent having a child.

Then again, I'm not religious and don't consider fetuses people, so it might be different if the boyfriend is a bit less rational. Also, secrecy is usually bad, but I'll make an exception in this case because the consequences are positive for the boyfriend (stress is bad, mmmkay?)

fishwish · 2010-10-03T15:39:11+00:00

To be honest, the guy sounds like a bit of a jerk. This is what happened last time:

The guy is my on/off long-distance boyfriend who broke up with me last time I had a pregnancy scare because he couldn't "go back to normal after that drama" and it took weeks for him to calm down. If he knew I was actually pregnant and getting an abortion, he'd flip out and leave again, and I can't handle that right now.

If she doesn't think she should tell him because he will flip out and dump her, it's time for her to end the relationship. And she should also consider the pill since condoms don't seem to be working out that well for them.

petecas · 2010-10-03T18:41:53+00:00

The reddit hivemind also wants her to break up with the dude. It sounds like that will happen soon anyways, and it's more important that she takes care of herself. One dramabomb at a time, and the most time-sensitive first.

gprime · 2010-10-03T17:01:23+00:00

I'll be honest, if she does get an abortion, I don't see why she's obligated to say anything to the father. He obviously cannot force her to carry the pregnancy to term, and if there is an abortion he can't be on the hook legally or financially. Perhaps she should be forthright, as after all lies do not make for a strong relationship foundation. But she doesn't NEED to be forthright, as in this case the man has no rights that a lack of knowledge will prevent him from using.

2010-10-03T22:00:58+00:00

I do not see anything wrong in the situation, other than the fact her boyfriend is a major douche

2010-10-04T02:23:32+00:00

My rights end at the tip of your nose. Same with these two. If she wants to do it, and does, then I see no reason why she should even have to tell him - since he can't stop it, and SHOULDN'T be able to either.

s0nicfreak · 2010-10-03T22:16:12+00:00

Let's pretend the rolls were reversed; he knew about the pregnancy and she didn't (nevermind how that could happen, he tested her pee in the toilet or something). He decides to get an abortion without telling her she was ever pregnant, so he slips some RU-486 in her orange juice or something. From a moral standpoint, would this be ok?

Il128 · 2010-10-04T13:27:11+00:00

Men should have the legal right to abort responsibility for children the same as women do. At least we wouldn't be killing someone when we do it.

2010-10-03T21:41:30+00:00

Yeah, she's wrong not to tell him, but the abortion itself is even worse. Why the heck did she put it off until she's 4 months pregnant?? And why is she willing to kill her child, just to try and appease her twerp of a "boyfriend"?

Let's not forget, the real victim here is not the father, and not even the mother. It's the child, who is about to be killed, who will very likely feel what's happening due to the fact that he or she is no longer an embryo. People are so caught up in their rights that they forget the more important person in these situations: the baby.

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