Roleplaying games aren't even safe now.

Hamakua · 2012-11-08T19:35:10+00:00

The most civil way to resolve this, imo, is just pull her aside and ask "as a favor" to not involve rape of anyone in the game narrative. That being said, there is also the "shit talking gamer" aspect of it. I don't know the context of the group but it doesn't sound too distant from the "Dick Wolves" controversy.

Was the instance of rape an inside joke of "off color" trust? "No, look at the zombie, he isn't biting, he is a gentle lover" -crack tangential jokes about the narrative, lambast your friend who's avatar is the victim.

I get a sense it is something of a parody from your lady GM and might not have anything to do with gender politics. I don't know the context or the vibe between the various players.

It's only the 4 of you so I don't think she would use that instance for political proselytizing. She might feel she is the only one who can make such a joke the same way "it's ok for a back guy to tell a black/racist joke". It might even be something of a subconscious "gift" to the group demonstrating she isn't hung up on the whole rape hysteria thing. Her trying to be "accepted" by being vulnerable.

I could go on and on, but in the end, if it bothers you, kindly ask her to stop before/after the next session without making a big deal about it.

I wouldn't worry personally. I try and keep my personal life segregated from my professional life as well as my political views, but not hidden from them - and vice versa.

2012-11-09T06:39:02+00:00

It is a dick move, but if you really want to make a point, have your character commit suicide from being unable to cope with what happened to him. See if she thinks that is funny.

cakeisgreat · 2012-11-08T23:50:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Nepene · 2012-11-09T01:30:06+00:00

While yes, death is way worse than rape, i'd think it poor taste to play it for lols.

A good dm should recognize that the players generally don't want to be confronted with a very visual and emotive reminder of the brutality of what they're doing. If you threw some pig blood at a player after they sliced open an orc most would regard that as too immersive. It would be worse if you did it to someone who had had a traumatic experience with blood.

I'd personally send her an email or message with something like "I'd prefer if you didn't roleplay death out for lols too. My grandad died of cancer. I'd prefer if you didn't roleplay out a man dying of cancer for lols. Likewise with rape I've seen how horrible it is and how it ruins people's lives. It's really sad seeing people minimize the horror and pain of it. Maybe you could just rape orcs if you have to rape someone, we don't care much about them."

Darthac · 2012-11-08T21:36:57+00:00

In my gaming group, we have a rule that if something happens in a game that is particularly triggering or upsetting to a player (as opposed to the character the player is playing), he or she can pause, take the GM aside, and let him or her know. That might be a good rule for your group to implement, but even if not, you and your buddies should absolutely speak up if you think she's making you uncomfortable.

C0CKPUNCHER · 2012-11-08T21:10:21+00:00

http://www.kodtweb.com/2011/05/20/lair-of-the-gazebo-3/

Unless you feel you specifically have issues with rape, I would just let it go, roleplaying games are sort of silly in that way, tpk's massacre the village etc.

Maybe what you are annoyed at is your character being the butt of the joke, do you feel singled out? Do you feel you are being insulted in the group?

Chamoflage · 2012-11-09T00:12:11+00:00

Frankly, she's got a damn good point in the edit. D&D is a game that is fundamentally about running around murdering other creatures so you can take their stuff. If you're running a serious game where this sort of thing is necessary because of wars or whatever, then the sudden tone shift is an issue with narrative but not with equality. If you're running a lighthearted game to begin with, than joking about rape, despite our cultural hangups, is not any worse than joking about murder.

So really there's exactly one part of all this that actually matters to this subreddit, and that's your statement that she'd be in tears if it were her character being the butt of a rape joke. Which, yes, there's an obvious double standard there, but what makes you certain that's true?

loose-dendrite · 2012-11-09T05:46:33+00:00

I don't really understand why you disagree with her. Do you dislike her flippant attitude?

Volcris · 2012-11-09T17:12:55+00:00

I would say next session try a reversal of the scenario on the first bar maid you come across and gauge her reaction.

livemansleeping · 2012-11-11T23:16:00+00:00

Talk to your friend and have him play the character straight about it with deep seated emotional issues. It would be a good game and wind up showing a thing or to your GM. Or you could always have a male pc rape a female npc and see what happened, but i like option 1 better.

EpicJ · 2012-11-08T19:40:16+00:00

Ok similar things happen on a CSS role playing type server I play on next time it happens call them out on it and say you're not ok with it

Ccha0t1c · 2012-12-12T21:02:13+00:00

My first character Talus was "violated" by extraplanar outsiders summoned by an Alienist named Boonie Jaines, the void thralled Wizard. He found me while I was investigating an ancient dragon language near a dragon burial ground and convinced me that he had info as to what it meant, however he chained me up and sent me to the realm outside of space and time where giant alien tentacle being... lets just say violated my personal space. This was actually how my character was introduced to an already existing campaign, because they were already in this tunnel, and they rescued me after killing one of the alien things whilst the wizard was away. We all thought it was pretty funny, but the DM did have the courtesy to never once say the word "rape." perhaps that makes a big difference?

As a writer I understand the line drawn between comedy and drama as a bit of a blur. All drama needs comedic relief or it seems too dark and hopeless, and all comedy needs something bad to happen or it makes the characters seem all powerful as they laugh at their gigantic fallen enemies' bodies. Rape might be a bit too extreme, but as a DM I also know that sometimes you make bad decisions that the doesn't help the whole party have fun, yet for the sake of continuity you just need to get past them to the next fun parts. Look at the bright side, at least your character wasn't drugged and raped.

Edit: If your ever in her position, just use this as a learning experience and you will surely use more tact in plot devices designed to build tension and conflict

rightsbot · 2012-11-08T19:20:19+00:00

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Sprocketlord · 2012-11-08T21:43:00+00:00

Well, I am going to be downvoted to hell for saying this, but Rape is a reality. Excluding realistic elements from your roleplaying game based on offensive elements to them (Rape, Racism, Class warfare) is a form of mental censorship of its own, unless you are trying to keep the game clean at the request of all of the players or participants. I think that you are more upset about her being upset if you would do something to her character of similar nature. I would reccomend confronting her and asking her how she would feel if an undead man/woman came and sodomized her character.

Aaod · 2012-11-08T21:57:18+00:00

Ah here I thought this was because they started hiring more women designers to help the games appeal more to women. Needless to say that failed miserably for multiple reasons.

andreipmbcn · 2012-11-08T19:34:43+00:00

Role-playing requires a great deal of trust between the players and the GM. I would call what you went through psychological abuse.

SCCROW · 2012-11-08T22:07:00+00:00

Rape isn't funny.

Anybody who is older than 12 and still playing Dungeons and Dragons is very funny.

Title	Roleplaying games aren't even safe now.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	40
Comments	54
Date	November 8, 2012 7:18 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/12vd7r/roleplaying_games_arent_even_safe_now/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/roleplaying-games-arent-even-safe-now.1009660 https://theredarchive.com/post/1009660

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