Submission as Abuse

rightsbot · 2012-04-07T20:56:17+00:00

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primaloath · 2012-04-07T23:46:25+00:00

Thank you very much for doing this. I wish I had a significant story to tell, but the only completely passive woman I ever dealt with closely was my mother. I suspect you only want to address romantic relationships.

c--b · 2012-04-07T23:28:00+00:00

Very well said.

nerdysweet · 2012-04-08T01:44:23+00:00

Honestly, dom/sub relationships are ALL about the submissive.

That is why consent from EVERYONE is important.

Strange_Dragons · 2012-04-08T22:18:46+00:00

Sexuak submission or social submission?

My previous girlfriend was sexually submissive (in a weird, somewhat backwards fashion - begging me for a rape role-play, etc), but socially dominant. She was also an absolutely crazy person, so I ended the relationship and ran.

typhonblue · 2012-04-09T11:14:56+00:00

There is a paradoxical element to female submission and male dominance even in a healthy, loving, vanilla relationship.

The women that I've been in relationships with offer me their submission freely as a means to solicit care and protection from me. One side of the paradox is that submitting in this way gives the woman an element of control. It allows her to make certain demands of me that I wouldn't accept from others. The other side of the paradox is that my dominant role is actually a caring role. I look after her needs and "run the scene" for her benefit as well as mine.

I hasten to add that nothing in my relationships has been abusive. It feels good to care for and be needed by a woman I love. The women certainly have made it worth my while. My wife will make me a sandwich without protest. And there's nothing better in my world than an amorous and sexually submissive woman who is happy to let me do as I please.

The hardest part for me in negotiating these roles has been unlearning a lifetime of feminist dogma telling me that male dominance is evil. I've slowly come to understand that feminism is often at odds with human psychology. Feminists tend to treat all dominance as acts of coercion, implying that all female submission is involuntary and forced. Perhaps somewhere there is a feminist writer who understands the erotic and romantic power of voluntary female submission and the giving, caring side of male dominance, but I have yet to see it.

Title	Submission as Abuse
Author	typhonblue
Upvotes	13
Comments	8
Date	April 7, 2012 8:54 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/rybav/submission_as_abuse/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/submission-as-abuse.1024490 https://theredarchive.com/post/1024490

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