I have had psychotic depression and severe OCD my entire life. As such, dating, much less relationships with women, have not been a reality. In fact, the entire concept of dating seems irrational and forced to me, so I've never actually pursued a woman or initiated any attempt at dating. Perhaps a symptom of schizophrenia. Ever since I've discovered the MRM, it's become a completely unrealistic scenario, as I now see dating as not only forced and irrational, but dangerous as well, a feeling I've always had but now constantly reinforced.

Now, it's become even "worse", or better, depending on how you look at it. I am now unable to look at any human being, man or woman, without first seeing a monkey. Sounds weird, I know, but I now find myself constantly fantasizing about the far future in a hypothetical scenario where the human race is a type I-III civilization on the Kardashev scale. I say "hypothetical" because as a misanthrope, I do not believe this will ever occur.

"I see the works of gifted hands That grace this strange and wondrous land I see the hand of man arise With hungry mind and open eyes"

I believe I am super-imposing the distant past onto the present as a way of seeing myself in relationship to others, a symptom of my disdain for humanity manifesting somewhat as a superiority complex, hence the seeing-people-as-chimps thing. Where does this all lead? Well, the conclusion I came to was that I must become asexual. Thus, I have become a devout Buddhist monk in addition to other methods in order to purge myself of all basic sexual instincts. So far this has proven ineffective, and I remain somewhat skeptical that it will truly succeed.

Even should I fail, however, I guess you could say I have become the ultimate MGTOW, perhaps far beyond that to an unhealthy level I admit, as I have rejected even the most basic instincts of human nature. I hope you enjoyed my introspection.

Has anyone else with similar mental disorders had a likewise similar experience, or am I the odd one out even among this subreddit?