This is probably on the wrong sub but I don’t know where to turn.

My wife of 16 years just told me she has feelings for someone else. One of my gaming buddies online. She says she loves me, but not in the same way as before. We have 4 kids: 2 bio and 2 adopted (her brothers kids.) 1 bio is autistic and my adopted son has a global delay due to being born with heroin in his system.

I want to push thru this, I can’t even imagine a life without her beside me. We’ve been through Hell. We were homeless at one point, we’ve moved away from home (Texas) to help family, at one point we had to pawn her wedding ring just to put gas in the car to go to work (we got it back). I feel like it’s my fault. That I should have been a better husband. Bear with me, just too on my first double shot of Jack in 13 years. I want to fight for her, but part of me says “walk on home”. Matter of fact, I know I should have been better. I’ve been Pushing 60-70 hours a week to pay the bills. Should have stayed home more. Shouldn’t have games so much. I don’t know what I’m going to do for these kids.

I keep thinking I should finish off the Norco I have for my shoulder. Make it easy for them. But it would destroy my kids. Guess I just need someone to tell me it’s worth fighting for.

Update Thank you guys. I see some arguments back and forth on here and even tho y’all are arguing, at least you care enough to argue. The hardest part is the “Grin and bear it”. Trying to maintain in front of my kids, acting like everything isn’t falling apart around me takes it toll. I am looking for a therapist, but it’s a small town so pickings are slim. Yes, my mental health is breaking down quickly, I recognize that. I’m really worried about what this will do to me kids