Why Do So Few Men Get Alimony?

PhilWylie · 2016-02-17T17:06:37+00:00

So the gist of the article is that men basically don't think alimony is fair for men or women and so even when they're eligible they don't ask for it, deferring personal financial gain in favor of principle.

The author calls this "macho pride."

Landjo · 2016-02-17T20:59:46+00:00

Not only male pride; the very few women that do pay alimony are at the forefront of pushing for alimony reform. They find it deeply unfair that they should support their spouse, even in cases where the claim is fully legitimate (a man who gives up his career to take care of the family, say), at least for a transition period. Something about the mere thought of supporting a grown man causes outrage in all of us. Even I, a gay MRA sympathiser, find myself having a hard time mustering sympathy for men who fail to use their potential, while I hesitate to judge women as harshly.

2016-02-17T22:28:10+00:00

Meanwhile, female breadwinners never pay alimony without a contentious battle. “Every guy in that situation has to go through a fight, while (breadwinning) guys go into the divorce accepting they have to pay,” says Rosen. Then, facing humiliation, stress and expense of that fight, they are further disincentivized from pursuing spousal support. “Men are essentially shamed into not receiving alimony,” Ressa says.

Adds Rosen: “Her attitude is always, ‘Dude, get a job.’”

Depending on in which part of the country you live, the judge may say the same thing.

Alpha Women, Beta Men: Wives are increasingly outearning their husbands, but their new financial muscle is causing havoc in the home.

Once Anna sought a divorce—“You know what my lawyer called him? A parasite”—she, like many other women in her position, was in for a shock. Divorce lawyer Harriet Newman Cohen explains, “The law is supposed to be gender-blind. Therefore, when a marriage is breaking up at the insistence of either the breadwinning wife or the supported husband, the lawyer has to apprise the client that when a big-earner wife comes in, the court bends over backward to be gender-neutral, and it is possible the bum is going to be rewarded for sitting on his hands. You do a flip-flop and make believe she is a guy.”

More often than not, this doesn’t involve alimony. “A lot of men, I’ve noticed, feel embarrassed to ask for alimony,” says Ken Neumann, since they already know their partner’s reaction. “The wife’s idea is, ‘You’re not going to ask for alimony, are you? It’s bad enough I was making more than you.’ ”

el_chief · 2016-02-17T19:09:29+00:00

Don't get married.

If you want to have kids, find a woman with a similar income level to your own. Don't live with her. Agree on shared custody. Have kid.

TheDude41 · 2016-02-18T06:25:00+00:00

Because damseling, chivalry are shit.

Title	Why Do So Few Men Get Alimony?
Author	eaton80
Upvotes	28
Comments	42
Date	February 17, 2016 3:55 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/469a0w/why_do_so_few_men_get_alimony/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-do-so-few-men-get-alimony.955942 https://theredarchive.com/post/955942

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