Working with a female supervisor.

LockNuts · 2016-08-14T02:02:16+00:00

I've worked for 5 women in my career.

One was a useless moron.

The other 4 were some of the best bosses I ever had.

I'd work for any of those again in a heartbeat.

I've always assumed my experience is due to them having mostly been technical managers in Silicon Valley (and 2 of those at start ups).

Edit: I've just remembered I'd a 6th female boss, but she announced that she was leaving on my 2nd day...

yoshi_win · 2016-08-14T04:11:22+00:00

Is this a common occurrence when you have a female supervisor?

As with men, some are shitty and some are cool. I have experienced severe condescension, micromanaging, and paranoia from a male boss so I suspect it has nothing to do with gender. People whose lives are going badly aren't their best selves.

As best you can, overlook her flaws and signal that you care about your work. Instead of repeatedly asking her about her perception of your attitude, simply ask her to specify exactly when to consult her. Follow through even if it seems absurd. She's your boss, at least for now.

Bruh45 · 2016-08-14T01:23:33+00:00

She is very tall and often wears short dresses. I mean, unprofessionally short dresses. Never is a word said. I wore tennis shoes once and she went ballistic.

For this one, just be straight with her and call her out for her bullshit double standard, though let her talk a lot and critically and carefully analyze her and ask a lot of questions as questions will make a person see the flaws in their logic,ideas,and beliefs.(Remember you want to make sure that she see's the flaw(s) in her actions not just you)

Is this a common occurrence when you have a female supervisor? She is divorced and kind of gives off that feminist vibe.

Depends on what type of feminist do you think she is?good or bad?

Senno82 · 2016-08-14T03:38:01+00:00

Document everything and never be alone with her.

SenorTrumper · 2016-08-14T00:09:28+00:00

I much prefer male bosses. Too much drama with female ones.

wisty · 2016-08-14T05:14:56+00:00

I don't think it's helpful to generalise too much. Anyone can be a really shit boss.

Maybe she hates men. Maybe she's a bit incompetent, and tries to cover it up by blaming everyone around her (especially people lower on the food chain). She's trying to micro-manage a job where you need to be making a lot of decisions - that's a sign that she's a bit of an idiot - she should be trying to explain the factors you need to consider, not ride your ass for making a poor call.

tl;dr - shit boss, can happen to anyone.

aesopstortoise · 2016-08-14T08:52:26+00:00

I think your wife is spot on and I don't think you did anything wrong from what you say. It does occur to me that if you had offered the manager a solution rather than asking her for one, she might have responded more positively. She sounds very defensive, so she may feel threatened by you in all sorts of ways - competence, competition, your being a man, being black - if any of this is true then your even asking her a polite question could feel very challenging or intimidating to her. If you were to say, ' Okay, howabout if in the future I do XYZ instead?' You see the difference? Any suggestion from you may well be treated condescendingly, but the offer of a solution rather than the threat of a direct question may help. A great many managers, male or female, are far better at finding fault than solving problems. As for the skirt thing, yes, a clear double standard of the kind that women are much more likely to get away with.

Mens-Advocate · 2016-08-14T12:28:51+00:00

OP, my sympathies.

Usually I think misandry must be fought, but perhaps in this case it would be easiest on you to simply plan an eventual job move.

Also, if you do want to challenge her hypercriticality, implying to her she's doing it for racist reasons may be taken more seriously than implying misandrist reasons.

By the way, almost all women, when bereft of facts, retreat to arguing "the way you said it."

MRA-automatron-2kb · 2016-08-14T19:14:02+00:00

I complained last week about a young woman wearing a micro mini and her female supervisor said it's ok because she has underwear underneath etc.

They made it that I was the problem.

secv808 · 2016-08-15T02:25:08+00:00

You would probably do better to think of it as a bad boss issue than a gender issue, although it's worth being aware of the particular risks when conflict in the workplace involves women. There are a lot of biases that can bite you in the ass.

WhiteNitro69 · 2016-08-15T22:54:39+00:00

Unfortunately this is an all to common reaction from women. A huge amount of social situations that are even remotely uncomfortable to them will result in them perceiving some amount of attitude or hostility. Not a whole lot you can do about it but try to be as nice as you can and hope that they don't file a false sexual harassment claim against you.

-_-I-_-I-_- · 2016-08-14T04:02:05+00:00

TIL that female psychotherapists need psychotherapy.

Title	Working with a female supervisor.
Author	helps_using_paradox
Upvotes	26
Comments	27
Date	August 13, 2016 11:40 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/4xlnep/working_with_a_female_supervisor/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/working-with-a-female-supervisor.943756 https://theredarchive.com/post/943756

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