For the longest time I thought all the articles about our shrinking attention span and need for constant stimulation were overblown and some old boomer fear mongering, but in the past year or so I've noticed it first-hand. I still try to read longform and expand my attention span or at least try to keep it from shrinking, but so many people I know seem to have ADHD like symptoms where if they aren't being entertained they get fidgety and reach for their phone.

They joke about how they can no longer read books, but they aren't joking.

Many people I know struggle with reading anything longer than a page, or even less.

With anything dull they try to layer it with music or podcasts or snacks, or something to help get through it.

When I suggested watching Flowers of the Killer Moon, several friends couldn't believe how long it was, and some of them straight up couldn't be bothered sitting through it. I've seen people pulling out their phones during movies, even during Dune Part 2 which was pretty fast paced.

And my 16 year old cousin is an ipad kid, he can't even really follow a conversation.

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Could this be why it feels more than ever like I am a goddamn court jester trying to please a captious queen who can at any point wave her hand and send me to the gallows?

Or is it that they have such an overwhelming amount of attention that they can afford to be extremely picky?

On dating apps especially you feel immense pressure to make every message funny and engaging, and one slip up - say by sending a message which god forbid isn't very funny - and you're ghosted. Which isn't easy with a stranger who isn't giving you much to work with.

But you put on your clown suit and jump through hoops to try and get them on a date hoping that things will be more balanced in person, only to realize that you're still expected to carry the cross - you need to ask the questions, crack the jokes, make the moves, suggest what to do... it's incredibly exhausting, especially if you've just worked all day.

The first thought is that they obviously aren't very interested...but I don't actually think that's true in most cases, they're still agreeing to subsequent dates, they just don't really contribute.

I've started to cut off people like this because there's no way I would have a long term relationship with someone like that, but it's so common.

Obviously guys are expected to do most of the heavy lifting early on, but it seems worse than ever and I don't remember it being this bad in the 2010's

The other thing is that most guys I know who are in relationships aren't exactly comedians, nor are they particularly interesting or charismatic or charming or anything, so clearly this isn't a requirement for most women, but it absolutely seems like it is these days.

What are your thoughts on it?