Am I Using Her?

mista_resista · 2026-01-27T00:43:33+00:00

You don’t want to use her but then proceed to use her, just like you did with 60 other women

acbagel · 2026-01-27T00:58:17+00:00

What on earth is this, man? Yes, obviously get her out of your life. Are you a Christian too? Go become a member of a local church and leave this kind of lifestyle, get under the guidance of a pastor and talk to him about this kind of stuff.

metalguysilver · 2026-01-27T03:13:04+00:00

Was already redpilled … Took her virginity

Why … when she was had for less?

[struggling with money so I took her back and mooched off her family]

she can never undo her past

Brother, you are not redpilled.

interweb3explorer · 2026-01-27T02:35:34+00:00

Men believe all that premarital sex does not psychologically affect them…but it truly does. God told women AND men not to do this—our souls are equally susceptible to damage, do you really believe you’ve been protecting your mind & body?—you both need to repent, see a pastor/therapist. You honestly have no room to judge her & there are 0 double standards when it comes to this.

LordVaporeon90210 · 2026-01-27T05:03:06+00:00

This has to be a troll. As someone who is a PK and took my last girlfriend’s virginity we were together for 2.5 years. Am I actually reading that you want to end things with her after using her family and her for all that time? My brother in Christ you slept with 60 women, idk if putting that was supposed to flaunt your count to appease the glazers in here but you want to complain about a woman who didn’t even have intercourse. Man go read proverbs. God has grace but if you are looking for a virgin, you gotta lead like a godly man.

accountantskill · 2026-01-27T02:55:34+00:00

Once I read 60 women I knew it was a troll. You’re already lost

rpd371 · 2026-01-27T03:41:28+00:00

No lifts. No looks. No personality. No money. You need to sort out yourself before any of the rest matters.

steadfastkingdom · 2026-01-27T03:09:37+00:00

Stats?

Masypha · 2026-01-27T07:06:35+00:00

You're the red flag here. Deep down men know if they wanna be with someone or not, you're projecting yourself onto her.

You're in a Christian sub, so presumably you're a Christian. You're overly sexual. As a Christian what did Christ die for and what did he call you to do?

What you need to figure out is what you're doing reflects with Christ. If you're truly Christian then forgive and move forward. Forgive yourself and her past and proceed, because it's not all that bad; seems like she's been through some trauma of her own and has made mistakes like all of us.

mylifestylepr · 2026-01-27T00:22:47+00:00

Move on. Don't entertain this at all.

WillieNFinance · 2026-01-27T00:58:56+00:00

I remember in high school, I had some pretty high standards. This one girl was a nerd, so there was no way I was dating that. Later in life, about 20 years later, she’s still a nerd, not totally cute although she did get cuter, so sometimes I wonder. But, I know that it wouldn’t have worked out because she’s still a nerd, and I’m kinda one in only a couple of my hobbies but kinda not in my looks.

I’ve married twice. Both not nerds. Both way cuter than that girl in high school. Both I divorced because of their infidelity. The 2nd one, I stayed with her in her parents’ 2nd home and my finances were kinda free to grow because the family had money. So, I understand not wanting to feel like you’re using her. That was my mistake at that time because I was totally in her frame. It’s up to you to make a plan to have your own place even though she and her family are offering you a free roof over your head.

The Bible does say to forgive, but it NEVER says to forgive AND forget. It’s why Rahab, the prostitute from Jericho never is mentioned as getting married after the Hebrews took her city. Even though she was instrumental in getting the power transfer taken care of and helped fulfill God’s covenant to take them to the Land of Milk and Honey.

If you don’t see yourself marrying her, it is what it is. Move on. If one of your life goals is marriage, you’re just wasting time with her. Or, maybe not if you’re learning lessons along the way.

If you have no goals of marriage, make sure she absolutely knows your position on it and that you will never change. And then, it’s up to your tolerance levels and conscience of how long you’ll let her hang around with the delusion of changing you to marry her.

SMV equivalents? Who knows? You being broke is the same as her being Lizzo sized at the time she was trying to hook up with Captain America. But, I don’t recall you mentioning that about her, except that you called her “cute”.

As far as suggestive pics and carrots only going in a lil bit, you have to decide how much that means to you. You also have to realize that your standards may or may not change over the course of your lifetime. Mine did. Before messing around with single moms and older women, I would say I wouldn’t even give the time of day to anyone who wasn’t a virgin like me. But, at that time I was looking for marriage. Now that I’m much older, not so much. Now, I’m more about good times and experiences.

But, this is something you have to figure out in your head for yourself.

I have never and would never get back with an ex. They’re gone for a reason, and I don’t need that reason coming back up twice with one person. If they went to therapy and seriously came out of it changed, I might consider it. But, that’s never happened. To each their own. That is what you must find out. What’s your own?

Once you ask yourself all of the questions that are painful to ask, and make all of the decisions you need to make, good. Treat those answers and actions like the comedian Patrice O’Neal did and stick to them (as he said) “righteously”.

Good luck figuring life out. We’re all just bumbling through it until it’s time to go to our true home, anyway. I know my thoughts are a bit unorganized. Oh, well.

James_Rustler_ · 2026-01-27T11:14:01+00:00

You're spiritual and sexual equals, I say go for it, but aim for the fruit of the Spirit.

Title	Am I Using Her?
Author	industrialdomination
Upvotes	0
Comments	41
Date	January 27, 2026 12:12 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/1qnxwos/am_i_using_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/am-i-using-her.1572016 https://theredarchive.com/post/1572016

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