Earlier this week, my wife and I were out. There was some annoying drunk, jock-type guy (nobody in our party knew him) who was going around the place acting all tough and macho to everyone, being a jerk ... openly mocking people, getting into people's personal space, light pushing and shoving, etc. Most people just ignored him until he moved on. The people we were with started complaining about him and wanting to leave. Eventually he made his way to us and started trying to pick on my wife and me.

I'm not the type of guy to just lay low and hope the problem goes away, so I stood up and called him out on his crap. I did to him the exact same things he was doing to everyone else (albeit less crude; I don't cuss) and ended with, "If you don't like getting what you give, learn to show some respect," then patted him on the back with a smile and sat down again while the guy flipped me off and left the place. The response from the rest of my party was great: "That was totally awesome!" and "I wish I had the nerve to do that!"

From my wife ... different story. I tried to engage in normal flirty kino stuff that I usually do, but she wouldn't respond. At one point, I went in for the 10-second kiss and she pulled her head back. I confronted her about it and she said, "I know that guy deserved it, but I just can't get over the fact that you did that. That's not the guy I married and I really don't like you right now." This carried on for about 3 days before we finally returned to the status quo and she got over it.

I'm not asking about how to respond after she pulls away like that. I'm pretty competent with the "condition your availability to her" and all that, which generally works well. I'm more confused about what I did wrong in the situation itself. I see so many RP posts about how a public display of bravado (especially when doing so to defend your family) is supposed to be highly attractive, yet I got the exact opposite result. What am I missing?