Unconditional Respect From Your Wife

Deep_Strength · 2018-07-22T23:07:27+00:00

What sorts of strategies have you seen actually work in already-existing marriages where wives have already lost respect for their husbands, and need to be "retrained", so to speak?

At the risk of sounding disingenuous, I actually am asking for two of my friends. Neither one of them is redpill. They both have the attitude that "I have no control over how my wife treats me."

So I guess this is actually two questions. First, what are the best intro materials you recommend to help break married men out of that defeatist mindset? And second, what are some practical things that men in such a position can do, to command respect from their wives?

You can't garner unconditional respect from your wife unless she is actually willing to follow what the Bible teaches. The temptation for wives is to disrespect and disobey, so she has to actually acknowledge that she has a fallen nature that is prone to being tempted to disrespect and disobey. She needs to actively give unconditional respect even when she feels like not doing it (which is very tough for wives).

Husbands can garner conditional respect through fulfilling their marital roles and responsibilities which makes women more susceptible to giving respect as their husband is excellent. However, this is conditional respect; if a husband stopped doing those things, they would potentially go back to disrespecting him.

This is one of the big divides between the secular RP and Christian RP. The secular RP is stuck in the works mentality: you have to keep working and working and working to garner and earn respect because it is conditional and tied to what you do.

This also parallels the gospel message: you can't work to earn your salvation. It's a free gift from God. Accepting the free gift of grace and mercy transforms us to follow and obey God: to give unconditional love to the wife and the wife to give unconditional respect to the husband.

Both of my friends are employed and are relatively successful financially. One of them is physically fit, the other, not so much. Both of them are nearing 50. Both still have children living at home. Both are Christians. The first one does not have a Christian wife; the other has a wife who might be considered a liberal Christian, definitely not traditional. There is not any adultery involved in either case.

Probably not going to have much success with unconditional respect here, unless the wives are won to Christ and obedient to Scripture.

They can certainly gain conditional respect, from following the Scripture roles and responsibilities for marriage. This can possibly be a good witness to their wives, which over time God can use to influence them and win them to Christ. Then once they are won to Christ and are ready to obey the Scriptures, then they can be taught that they need to give unconditional respect.

It's a long road though.

Zeldafan1023 · 2018-07-22T20:47:02+00:00

For a woman to be trained by her husband, she first has to submit to the concept of being trained. First and foremost I had to see and know that it was God's design that I become the woman specifically tailored for my husband. Then I sought his "training", by looking for ways to incorporate what he wanted and needed me to be for him. I don't think a husband can force this, I believe submission is a choice that must be made, otherwise it will not be genuine.

RedPillWays · 2018-07-22T22:08:17+00:00

Neither one of them is redpill. They both have the attitude that "I have no control over how my wife treats me."

They don't realize a game is going on. Do they want things to change? If so, have them buy a copy of the rational male. Tell them to read it over and later discuss it. I'd leave it at that. Let them show you their desire for change. This is more of a awaking of a blue pill question. They have to want it. You can't make them.

RPCJoeMak · 2018-07-22T22:29:57+00:00

No More Mr. Nice Guy is a great book to start with. It has a very readable presentation and format. It's a nice introduction to the RedPill world.

I would follow that up the Married Man Sex Primer book. Tremendous resource.

I like all the Rational Male books also, but they are more grad school.

rocknrollchuck · 2018-07-22T23:20:11+00:00

*Obligatory strong language warning

Romans8_18-39 · 2018-07-23T21:13:33+00:00

Well, I would recommend that they be firm and give direct and specific commands about what they want. Expect backlash at first, but eventually, the wives should see the benefits of listening to and obeying their husbands.

Willow-girl · 2018-07-25T04:05:38+00:00

And second, what are some practical things that men in such a position can do, to command respect from their wives?

You've got the tail wagging the dog here, I think. Respect is something you earn, not command.

Look at it this way : if your boss came to you and waved the employee manual under your nose and pointed to the fact he's your superior, and demanded respect, would this make you think more highly of him -- or less?

Title	Unconditional Respect From Your Wife
Author	PriestOfKitezh
Upvotes	3
Comments	34
Date	July 22, 2018 7:58 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/910j5z/unconditional_respect_from_your_wife/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/unconditional-respect-from-your-wife.301838 https://theredarchive.com/post/301838

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