Getting annoyed with husband?

lexivip · 2020-07-12T21:11:57+00:00

I remind myself I am just as annoying as he is.
I try to figure out WHY I am being sensitive to certain things. Sometimes it is that I just really need some alone time or I’m hormonal and need to just give my husband a head’s up
Find the humor in it.
Separate myself from him - as in I used to feel embarrassed by things HE did. I had to realize he has autonomy and as long as he isn’t making a joke at my expense or going out of his way to embarrass me directly - then it isn’t my problem. He can be the one that looks weird.
Most of the annoying/embarrassing things he does were endearing when we were dating. I try to focus on that. He’s cute and has a lot more good qualities than annoying. So I focus on those.

LouiseConnor · 2020-07-12T21:05:06+00:00

So long as it’s something healthy to “let it go” I try to replace my annoyed thoughts with more constructive thoughts - like you said, thankfulness, even pity or “that’s cute of him”, or reminding myself it’s so big deal (clothes right next to the basket 😅).

Also the more I flirt with him, or beat him to the punch complimenting or mentioning things about him I love or think are sexy, the more he does those things instead. This helped when his goofy side, which I do love at certain times, was turning me off sexually. Because of course he doesn’t want that!

myfriendm · 2020-07-12T22:01:37+00:00

I think it's actually a chance for some introspection. Your perception of the behavior as immature, embarrassing or annoying is worth looking at from all sides. Why does he do that, and why do you react the way you do? Remember, all behavior is motivated by reward. So the question here is what that reward is. Irritation or annoyance tend to be emotions that grow out of resentment and lack of communication. The fact that you have to leave the room and do deep breathing suggests that there is some distance between you both and that your closeness and understanding has declined. Are you generally annoyed a lot, or a particularly high strung person? How do you take care of yourself and your own mental health with 4 kids? What does showing him respect mean to you?

I do have to say that I don't see anything positive coming out of direct criticism about his behavior-the better path is to identify how you want your relationship to be and work towards that with him. Be the example, and give positive feedback when he does do things that make you happy.

For me personally, with feelings of annoyance, I try to look at a given situation from his perspective. I try to recognize my own faults and the fact that I know we both want harmonious, happy lives together, which puts things in perspective. I'm pretty calm and tend to favor resolving situations as quickly as possible to avoid misunderstandings or upset and prolong the hurt. And I don't mind standing down even if I feel I'm right-he is my best friend, not my competitor. I also think that learning to think a few minutes before just saying things (to anyone, but especially husband) is a very good habit to get into.

cohost3 · 2020-07-12T20:02:01+00:00

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WonderWomanxoxo · 2020-07-12T21:47:20+00:00

I feel like wbst you are currently doing to cope are good strategies! After all you did marry him.a d vow to forever be his partner. With 4 children I can only imagine how annoyed you can get over a simple spat. Youre already exhausted by the end of the day and the last thing you need is your husband being unsupportive and difficult. Try to express your frustration to him. Dont get angry and lash out as this doesnt solve anything and makes the situation worse.

SunflowerBurst · 2020-07-12T21:51:22+00:00

Do you mean something embarrasses your like in public? At least with that you can try to care less what people think.

organicsunshine · 2020-07-12T23:01:33+00:00

I try to laugh about and occasionally tease him. My husband leaves cabinet doors open constantly. One time he even left the microwave door open. I just started cracking up and showed him. Whelp, he was here! Haha. I think of all the good things he does as well and just let it go.

2020-07-13T00:58:29+00:00

I guess it depends on what the specific things that annoy you are! I try to let the petty stuff go but I also try to let my husband know when something is really driving me crazy. Usually I tell him in a kind of over-the-top, half-joking way so that it doesn't sting and we don't have to dwell on it :)

lexivip · 2020-07-14T17:00:32+00:00

I really appreciate the feedback. Thanks!

ThePrettySweety · 2020-07-17T20:16:14+00:00

I’m engaged but I always ask myself is it worth ruining my relationship? I ask myself do I want to be a wife or do I want to right!

fairydust91 · 2020-08-01T08:50:33+00:00

If you know you shouldn't be annoyed and you don't genuinely want to be, try reminding yourself of something awesome about him and focus on that.

E.g. He leaves his socks everywhere. but also does laundry himself without being asked so I guess it's all good.

Plus you are also not perfect.

Jay794 · 2020-07-12T20:15:44+00:00

You shouldn't just sweep stuff under the rug, it will boil over eventually

Title	Getting annoyed with husband?
Author	lexivip
Upvotes	4
Comments	17
Date	July 12, 2020 7:28 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/hq0cxf/getting_annoyed_with_husband/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/getting-annoyed-with-husband.712724 https://theredarchive.com/post/712724

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