I see many women today with the attitude that love will just happen. That they need not improve themselves to be worthy of love, or they accept that they need to reach a certain threshold for good enough before someone can love them. But they are missing a major piece of the puzzle. That love is something that needs to worked on, not just in the self-improvement way, but in the practical doing stuff for others way. They think that just by 'doing me' and letting their partner 'do you' it will lead them to the person they are most compatible with. But what happens in those relationships is they behave like two people walking side-by-side but independently down the same road. Once their paths fork, so too do they split since no two people can be exactly alike in every respect. I think that the dynamic of men leading and women following worked because it was part of the men's role to push the relationship forward, and the woman's responsibility to be the glue that held the relationship together. Today, women work outside of the home almost as much as the men, and while men have opted to pick up the housework, neither party feels responsible for the labor of keeping the relationship together. So men still hold their end of the bargain plus some, but women have forgotten their duty. That women are responsible for helping things run more smoothly. This is why I cringe when women talk about the things that make them a good partner, and all they mention is "fun personality" and "interesting hobbies" and "goal oriented". And while these are all good things to have, you would be doing them with or without a partner. These things are for the benefit of "you" not for the benefit of "us". Now I'm not saying "don't be you", who else would you be? Be you, plus. You plus a nurturer, you plus a caregiver, you plus RPW.