Reflections with RPWi: 8/8/16

Trauma_Burn_RN · 2016-08-08T16:22:03+00:00

GOOD: So, I'm new here. I was searching for "housecleaning schedules", since my husband has made it clear that my housekeeping skills are sub-par (they totally are, he's right), and was shocked to find that there are women that think like me. You guys ARE my good! I've binge read the top posts, and have tried a week of putting things into action.

I've successfully done my hair, make-up, and bedtime skin care routine everyday now, which is huge for me (I'm disheveled and spacey). He deserves to have a pretty wife! I've been trying to get in a daily workout too, so the bod matched the face ;)

I've been making an effort to pay attention to his hobbies, without playing on my phone or being visibly bored. He doesn't necessarily like me to help with his projects, but he likes having me around. Guns and woodworking aren't really my jam, but he thanked me for hanging out with him anyways :)

BAD: We argue about money a lot - he's a spender, and I'm the most uptight about saving. It's led to a lot of fights because I do not want to relinquish any control over finances. In fact, I really want to have all of the control over the finances, but that's not happening anytime soon. We don't get into huge blowout fights, but it's frequent little snits that leave both of us unhappy. I'm not quite sure of the solution yet.

UGLY. We got married, and then moved out of my apartment a month later to his parents, and hopefully by the end of the month we'll be moved into our own home (woo-hoo!). But, we both hate moving, and all of our stuff is spread between three households. The end of August is going to be a messy, painful moving session, and I'm not looking forward to it :(

jade_cat · 2016-08-08T17:32:00+00:00

Hello everyone!

Good: Two things.

I have changed the way I make my to-do lists. I followed /u/PhantomDream09's wonderful advice and it helped tremendously with my sense of accomplishment and helped me prioritize more properly. I feel much better at the end of the day even if I didn't complete all the optional tasks on my list. So thank you SO much, /u/PhantomDream09 !
My garden is finally producing vegetables! :D

Bad: I ate so, so bad these last two days. A lot of meat and starches, and not many fruits and vegetables. My belly isn't happy and I feel sluggish.

Ugly: Nothing to report. :)

Bonus:

Camille: Dignified (I see her as a very delicate woman with much poise and dignity)
LifterofThings: Mysterious (I don't know her as much as the other mods, sadly)
WingN: Guardian (A very down-to-earth, direct and strict mod that won't take sh-- from no one)
Phantom: Counselor (A mod who gives lots of long, elaborate advice)
TempestTcup: Matriarch (She is a living history book of how things were a couple of years ago, it is very interesting to read her comparisons between today and "back in the days")

hazelfox · 2016-08-08T15:54:44+00:00

Good: Only 40 days until our wedding! We're nearly done with the big decisions and details; from here on out, it's collecting RSVPs, finalizing pretty little details and making jokes to each other about how "this is the best decision you've ever made." I'm also applying for a job that would be a really great opportunity for both of our long-term goals.

Bad: Nothing major; I'm tired and tend to be depressed, so that's a little challenge, keeping up with everything and not becoming blah or morose. Probably need more Vitamin D, as my midwife tells me my levels are crap. When I'm tired, anxiety tends to be worse, and there are a few wedding guests I'd rather walk hot coals than socialize with, and my mind starts spinning awkward scenarios.

Mods, you're wonderful! I'm afraid I don't know each of you quite well enough yet to give you witty one-word monikers, though. Thank you for everything you do for this community!

LauraXVII · 2016-08-08T15:58:23+00:00

The Good: Boyfriend turned round and said to me "you know, I actually properly feel that we're going to be together forever, that this is it"... He was half asleep when he said it, but I'm counting this as a win!! I had a work bbq on Friday afternoon which he came to, so now he's met all my work colleagues and it was one of his friends from work's leaving do on Friday and I joined for drinks after the meal, so now I've met all of his work colleagues. I feel like that's an important milestone reached :)

The Bad: To say that my flat is a tip would be the understatement of the century. I've had a lot on with uni and work but I've got really lazy about housework the last couple of weeks - need to sort myself out!!

StephanieCitrus · 2016-08-08T17:46:12+00:00

The good: This week WM offered to help me with chores and I gave him honest 'no's. I feel so on top of the housekeeping schedule.

Also, WM told me yesterday that he can see my ankles! I had serious cankles that we used to joke about. Although my weight is hanging around the same number this last week or so, I think that is because I am gaining muscle.

The bad: I have a new work schedule that is going to cut in to my internet/reading fun time.

The ugly: My stink after going on a 2 hour walk in the Summer heat ;)

BellaScarletta · 2016-08-08T15:05:05+00:00

Good: The friends that set R and I up visited the wife's hometown which is 2 hours from us (as opposed to the 8 away they live). I couldn't make a visit happen due to scheduling conflicts, and R didn't push me but just said "I understand but a lot of people will be very disappointed if they don't see you", which gave me the push to be more flexible than I usually am. I rearranged everything for my weekend and still fit it all in, and it ended up working out even better! We spent an amazing day all hanging out and we were happy, our friends were even happier, and it was neat because they set us up but it was the first time they actually got to see us together and they were pretty much glowing and enjoying the fruits of their labour.

Bad: My old friends have been incredibly judgemental of all my decisions regarding my "career" taking a backseat to my relationships (romantic, familial, and friends); I put career in quotes because I'm fresh off the college bus anyway. Granted, this is no new thing but I think they thought it was something HB pushed me into (not true) and expected things to go back to 'normal' when we broke up. We used to have our feminazi SJW world domination thing in common and now we don't...they're still my oldest friends and damned good ones so I know I need to be charitable and give them a reasonable adjustment period to get with the program (or put them in the box they belong in, if not). But they started getting critical of my decisions regarding R and suggesting that I'm "one of those girls" who just needs to be in a relationship. I snapped and took a shot at them that I shouldn't have and I know I'll have to deal with that later but oh well. My relationship isn't a democracy and I'm incredibly comfortable with the choices I've made.

Ugly: Truly nothing to report (:

Bonus:
Camille: Margaery
Phantom: Catlyn
WingN: Cersei
Tempest: Olenna
Lifter: Brienne

[deleted] · 2016-08-08T22:23:37+00:00

GOOD:

I went to the doctor today and weighed myself after not weighing myself for maybe 2-3 weeks. I'm at a lovely 120 lbs!! This is without calorie counting or doing any cardio, just bodyweight exercises. My diet and exercise regimen is working and I'm super happy about that.
I have felt super confident and chill the last few weeks and I think it's because I'm just in super NGAF mode and living my life without worrying about the opinions of others.
My birthday is coming up yay!!

BAD:

Some loser asshole is being endorsed by prominent Republicans to run as an independent to take votes away from Trump. If this happens and it's real, I will probably avoid voting for federal election for the next 25 years.

UGLY:

Nothing really.

How to describe the mods?

/u/_wingnut_ --- <3 <3 <3 Adore her. I relate to her on so many levels. We have a strong understanding and shared views on culture and politics. She doesn't kiss ass and she's bluntly honest, but it comes from a place of compassion. She wouldn't take the time to advise people if she truly didn't give a fuck about them and I love that about her. She has pretty eyes. LOL.

/u/Camille11325 ---Eloquent. Makes a point to always put her best foot forward, even in very unfortunate circumstances. Doesn't complain, a trait I respect. We're very different so I can't relate to her that much, but I like that she values feminine traits and doesn't shy away from them ever.

/u/TempestTcup --- Grounded. I feel like she has lived, thus far, a complete life and has very relevant and timely insights on marriage. I admire the fact she's been with the same man for more than a generation and they are still happily married.

/u/PhantomDream09 --- Disciplined. I don't know as well, but I appreciate how she manages the sub. I think she really does value and respect the role of moderator and tries to be honest and impartial when 1) helping new members or 2) advising regular members. She doesn't mince her words and takes her time to explain her thoughts.

/u/LifterofThings --- Another mod I don't know very well, but I never had a negative interaction with her and I think most would say the same.

StephanieCitrus · 2016-08-08T22:28:53+00:00

Good: I have been getting a ton of stuff done around the house in preparation for my SO coming home next week! I've not been stressing out too much about it, much to my surprise, and have actually been having fun with it. Each day, I focus on one room of the house and go to town! Also was able to give my dog, a yorkie, a haircut at home and it actually turned out pretty cute!

Bad: Since I've really started to hit the weights pretty hard (if you haven't already, check out the How to Be a Bombshell Post), and I decided to finally sit down and calculate my macros. While I was researching, I found that I made a sizable mistake three months ago. Turns out I have been eating way too little, which made me more prone to binge cycles. So I go back to what I was using for calculating, and I was eating for weight loss for someone who was 8 inches shorter than me. Yikes. But I am very excited that I am back on track!

Ugly: I had tried out a chemical peel for my feet for the first time last week. You don't see anything happen for a few days, and then your feet turn into the ugliest, most horrible looking things. So bad, that I had to wear socks 24/7. Now that the peeling is over, I don't think my feet have ever been so soft!

[deleted] · 2016-08-08T23:20:38+00:00

Good: I've been working really hard at overcoming my passive aggressive habits. This means admitting to myself when I'm upset, and then figuring out how to deal with it -- some things I let go, and others I bring up to my husband in a direct, painless way. This has been fantastic, husband is really happy, and it's made me feel so much closer to him.

The bad: overcoming the passivity is still a work in progress and there are some triggers that just make me feel like throwing in the towel. We had agreed to assemble a new bed for the baby -- it arrived a month ago and husband still hasn't taken it out of the box. I have brought it up a few times and he keeps saying he'll get to it. I know he's been busy but still. It's driving me NUTS. I haven't told him how annoyed I am.

The ugly: so far, nothing...

[deleted] · 2016-08-11T08:31:29+00:00

Some highlights of the past week ...

Good I was feeling a bit down and irritable during sharkweek, but tried keeping the tone light at all times. I messed up a few times (getting bossy and pedantic, blergh) and felt really bad about it, so I straightforward told my SO that I was having a rough time and that I was sorry about my behaviour. SO and I proceeded to have a conversation about dealbreakers. He literally mentioned he expects me to respect him at all times, and also told me that he hasn't ever felt disrespected by something I've said or done. Yay :-) I need clear language, this is as crystal clear as it gets

Super good The M-word keeps popping up, aaahhh. He keeps referring to it as somewhat of a joke ("Ssooo, when are we getting married?") but I know that the idea of getting married is settling in his mind

Bad An ex tried to get back in touch with me. Told my SO. He trusts me. Moving on

Bonus I cannot think of anything for all mods but:

/u/Camille11325: poise

/u/_wingnut_: wise

/u/TempestTcup: mentor

MemoirsofaWife · 2016-08-10T17:17:45+00:00

Good: I'm finally back on a semi-regular cooking schedule! Being pregnant has definitely set back quite a few things onto the back burner. Including cooking and cleaning, a passion of mine! But with the 2nd trimester energy arriving, I'm so glad I can go back to serving my husband <3

Bad: MIL came for a visit and made some comments about the state of the house, kept dropping hints about taking our son for visits, other maternal power struggles, etc. I took it rather personally. I probably sat on that negativity for a good 48 hours before bringing it up to Husband. I should have gone to him sooner. He simply said: "She will respect our boundaries and choices as parents because we will make her."

Ugly: My own NMom is slowly trying to worm her back way into our lives. We're on red alert right now. But I'm trying not to let it get to me. The last thing me and my husband needs is an emotionally compromised Wife ;P

I'm also starting to wonder if I'm the problem. That I just cannot get along with maternal figures? That is something I truly need to reflect on.

Title	Reflections with RPWi: 8/8/16
Author	CoochQuarantine
Upvotes	13
Comments	34
Date	August 8, 2016 11:50 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/4wpqwg/reflections_with_rpwi_8816/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/reflections-with-rpwi-8816.209707 https://theredarchive.com/post/209707

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