Single Ladies General Chat

Never_Evil · 2016-08-10T18:41:34+00:00

Are you single and a subscriber?

Hi! Yes, I am, and I've got news for all the other single subscribers:

If you're intimidated to participate, don't be. I'll tell you from first hand experience that participation (both through comments and IRC) helps you grow. Why? You express your views, you get brutally honest advice from ladies who've seen it all, and if you stay respectful, you learn a whole lot :) Additionally, if you don't have a lot of experience with the female social matrix (FSM), all the more reason to dive in and figure out how to navigate.

Will it be harsh sometimes? Yea, but it's worth it. Are the ECs and/or mods mean, scary people who resemble 'Mean Girls'? LOL no, they're all honestly compassionate, selfless people when you understand why they do & say what they do.

Plus, believe it or not, the better you get in the FSM, the better you get at attracting high-value men.

So go ahead, PARTICIPATE! ^^ The community will only be what you make of it~

What I've learned so far:

The bottom-line advice has always been "Find a good man and defer to him. Advice on the internet be damned."

The 'deferring' part is hard on its own, for anyone still learning what it means and what it entails. The best thing about this concept is that it helped me treat the men in my life better - to treat them with far more respect than I used to, and I started seeing real changes - both in how they treated me in return and how they handled situations around me.

Now, once you're somewhat familiar with deferring and submission, attracting a 'good man' becomes a little easier. Keep increasing your value through learning how to make yourself happy (developing your hobbies + learning self-care strategies) and how to hold your standards (developing your vetting strategies, i.e. learning what makes a good man for you and not compromising when you see red flags).

Questions for ECs + mods + committed women:

How is your relationship with your father now in comparison to before being committed to your SO? Is your SO more or less dominant than your father, and how does that affect their dynamic?

Resource?

So I found this guy a while ago and I really like almost all of his videos. He seems to spout RP advice packaged in feminist-friendly bundles, and while I won't say that all of it is gold-standard, I think they're pretty great for single girls who are trying to step up their game. What do you think? Here's just a couple examples:

How to STOP Attracting the Wrong Guys: Great advice on vetting

Why The Modern Man Won't Commit, and What You Can Do About It: Sooo many good things being said here, again about vetting, check it out :)

cherries13 · 2016-08-10T19:35:10+00:00

Coming on RPW has made me realise that I really need to work on my approachability a fair bit. I don't think there's a problem with my appearance as I put a lot of effort into it but I very rarely get asked on dates (as embarrassing as it is to admit) and I need to work on that. It's honestly a bit frustrating and I wish I had a bit more of a dating life, especially as i'm in my 'prime years', and I'm wondering if I'm doing something unattractive that i'm massively overlooking!

Does anybody have advice for approachability? I've read advice on making eye contact and smiling but is it really that simple? Anybody else working on making themselves more open and approachable? :)

On a similar note, how do people feel about making the first move, not initiating contact or asking someone out but something like starting a conversation when out and about if the opportunity arises?

cherries13 · 2016-08-10T14:34:57+00:00

Ooh been looking forward to this, will post questions when I can remember them hahah

What do people (ECs particularly) think of the advice given by Susan Walsh on her website Hooking Up Smart? Is it RP advice? A lot of her old stuff was quite good i thought, but unfortunately many of the links no longer work for them. Her newer stuff is a bit of the you-go-girrl feminist variety I find.

bakebynumbers · 2016-08-11T17:06:29+00:00

Hello! New here- I've lurked for a little while, and everything about this sub makes a lot of sense to me, so I figured I'd try to join! haha, I feel so silly being nervous to post a anonymous comment on the internet, but from what I've seen you guys are friendly so I'm trying not to be!

I'm in college, studying to be a teacher, and despite the incredibly high number of good guys around me I really struggle to date- I've done some of the readings (like the fascinating women PDF, and a lot of posts) and I have some theories as to why but I definitely have more learning to do!

I had a late night conversation with my roommate recently (she is in the same place in life as I am, and we both go to the same church (the main source of socialization in my area) and have basically the same social group) about who we would be interested in dating and why we weren't getting asked out (we are both friendly, involved, and not overweight/unfortunate looking/crude/harsh/etc-- ) and we talked about it being possible that way we were talking to guys is the problem.

For example, I have a brother that I idolized growing up, and who I still think is super cool, and I realized that I sometimes subconsciously try to emulate his humor (on a smaller scale, I'm quieter and not as witty/sarcastic), because that kind of light put-down humor seems the strongest indication of guys friendships and I want to be thought of well too, I guess. But it seems like maybe I establish myself as a friend, not someone of romantic interest. My roommate, similarly, says she feels safer to be flirty when a friendship is established, but although she doesn't actually want to date these guys.

Basically, what I took from the conversation is that emulating guys (humor in this case) makes guys like you.. but not as a women, and comfort in a relationship (platonic or otherwise) often leaves you free to be more natural and feminine (flirty haha) but I need to overcome that need for comfort first if I actually want to interest the guys I'm interested in.

Or maybe they're all just interested in our other, beautiful/friendly/charismatic roommate and don't notice us anyways who knows.

edit: a word. also hopefully this makes sense!

My_Fictitious_Me · 2016-08-10T20:44:43+00:00

I have a very packed schedule during the week and have always been introverted to the point where "going out" makes me want to be invisible. My question is simple...How do I go about meeting good men? Where do they congregate typically? How do you spot a good one amoungst a club/bar full of Bros and Chads? Thank you.

Title	Single Ladies General Chat
Author	RPWives
Upvotes	9
Comments	42
Date	August 10, 2016 2:02 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/4x29hj/single_ladies_general_chat/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/single-ladies-general-chat.209700 https://theredarchive.com/post/209700

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