Tootle time!

BeautifulSpaceCadet · 2016-04-25T13:59:11+00:00

This is awesome and hilarious.

So with every other SO I've had, I've held the belief "it's not love if you can't fart in front of one another". Usually at a point in the relationship it turns into something you can laugh at, and tbh maybe that's gross but I don't think it has to be. I think it can be done with a "shrug that's how it goes!" attitude that's neither here nor there.

That being said, HB is hilariously firm on this. He believes gentleman and ladies don't fart in front of one another. I've totally heard him fart from the bathroom which shares a wall with his room, and I don't think either of us is particularly sensitive about it, but you don't just go for it. So we are discreet about it, but not to the point of embarrassment.

As far as the actual bathroom business goes, he is extremely matter of fact about his morning constitution. He wakes up, he shits, he shaves, he showers. That's the way it is and I know what he is doing. If we talk about bathroom business (usually as it relates to health) we use terms like "being regular" or other such euphemisms. As far as when I have to go #2, I honestly just say "I have to go to the bathroom" or "I went to the bathroom". I assume the amount of time I was in there is a pretty good indicator of which it was, and so again, it's a pretty matter of fact thing. In your hypothetical, I'd probably just say "woah the spaghetti isn't sitting well with me, I'm going to take a trip to the bathroom." It would be private but no scramble to figure out what to do or how to hide it.

This situation is fine with me. Honestly I would let loose in a second without thinking about it haha. But at the same time I can really appreciate that it is a bit of an intimacy-killer, and I do like that despite the fact we are not that open about it, it's no source of embarrassment or anything we can't talk about or be comfortable with.

smallpeach · 2016-04-25T13:27:10+00:00

Last night was a prime example of this for me. I ate cereal. i know I'm not supposed to cause... milk. My tumbly had a grumbly. What I usually do is just incorporate it into conversation. I said something like "lets watch game of thrones in bed" BBRBBRHHGHHEOHOIGELELGHEHEGGHE "SEE!! My tummy agrees!" or something stupid like that. We ignore the farts. The bathrooms usage... I have poopourri.. it's like it never happened. Spray the water before you go and someone could walk in right after and it just smell like the spray.

TempestTcup · 2016-04-25T14:03:18+00:00

We are both from large families, and really in large families, farts are generally something that you get used to from an early age, especially if you have brothers, LOL! I try to not fart around him just because of the smell factor, but I'm not getting out of bed if I wake up and feel the need in the middle of the night. Generally if we fart audibly around each other would we blame it on the dogs (when we used to have them) or on one of the plush toys we have on a shelf. Then we laugh about it :)

[deleted] · 2016-04-25T19:21:24+00:00

This is probably not very mature, but when SO and I fart, we'll blame it on the other person. He'll pass gas then go, "Mads, you farted!" Then the accused party has to apologize. "Sorry!" It's always obviously a joke, since there's no one else in the room.

Kittenkajira · 2016-04-25T19:23:15+00:00

I've found that acting shy and embarrassed if it happens goes over best with my SO.

He's always said that there will be no sharing bathroom time with each other - he would be livid if I ever went to the bathroom with the door open, or if I opened the door while he was in it. I grew up in a household where fart jokes were made at the dinner table, and one kid commonly went to the bathroom while the other was in the tub. It's gross, IMO. Keep your private matters private - this also goes for talking about your periods.

frozen_strawberry · Mon Apr 25 6:15:23 2016 UTC

We just laugh about it.

LauraXVII · 2016-04-25T06:51:54+00:00

I try and hold it in as much as possible but if something does slip out I just declare that "girls don't fart" as if we're physically incapable, and I don't ever admit otherwise. It became a running joke in my last relationship :)

classy_lassy23 · 2016-04-25T13:10:03+00:00

My SO and I have weird humor, so bathroom type jokes crack us up. With that being said, we don't actually fart in front of each other (consiously lol). The same cannot be said for when we're asleep. If either of us has to go #2, then we've got to go. It's much worse trying to hold it in. I try to make it discreet, but we all know what we're doing if we're in the bathroom for 5+ minutes. A good diet can help a lot though.

Also, he can make incredibly realistic fart sounds with his mouth though. Sometimes when we're out and about, he'll come up behind me and do one right in my ear but still loud enough for other people to hear. It. Cracks. Me. Up. I'm sure people think I'm a loon for laughing so hard, especially if they didn't hear it. Ugh, I love my relationship.

m0llywobbles · 2016-04-25T13:11:02+00:00

I avoid farting in front of him whenever possible; I excuse myself when it does happen. We've gone from being the most prude relationship I've ever had (we didn't even shower together until we'd been together almost a year; we never EVER talked about bathroom business). I don't know when all of this started changing, but now our morning routine is me joining him in the bathroom while he finishes his morning constitution and then me taking my bathroom time--including peeing in a cup in front of him, sometimes using the restroom, etc. We're not gross about it, but we've gotten very intimate and comfortable, and we have a lot of our best discussions in the bathroom. shrug

[deleted] · 2016-04-25T15:14:29+00:00

My husband and I are very different. He had never had a problem ripping one in front of me ever. I am the total opposite. I've blamed it in the dog. I say ladies aren't capable. We've been living together for 3 years, married for almost two, he's never seen me on the toilet and he's never seen me shave. I hold fast to the belief that you need a little mystery in the relationship. Now if I'm sick or food isn't sitting right, I don't hide from him all night. He definitely uses those opportunities to harass me. :-)

[deleted] · 2016-04-25T18:06:11+00:00

lawd we were just talking about this in IRC.

I would never want to fart in front of any of my SOs. it has happened though and i was mortified.

that said, my current BF has farted around me and he legit does not care. I guess it's a sign he's comfortable around me, which is always a good thing. If a guy wants/needs to fart around you and does, don't suddenly become some harpy and attempt to BAN HIS FARTS in your company or your shared home. That's silly.

sthutton · 2016-04-25T16:50:46+00:00

My husband and I have been together for quite some time (married 9 years, together 11) and we still do not pass gas in front of each other. It's a personal preference of mine. It just seems more polite and feminine. If it's rumbly tummy time, I step away to the bathroom, and he does the same (also without talking about it - if we're doing something together which would necessitate me letting him know where/why I'm getting up, I just say "gonna run to the bathroom real quick").

littleteafox · 2016-04-25T16:57:47+00:00

Lol I've never heard it called tootle time before! Hmm we don't usually deliberately fart in front of each other, which I appreciate. Generally I try to keep a healthy diet so if I'm gassy I know something's amiss. BTW chewing up a tsp of fennel seeds with a chaser of water can help with gas.

I'll usually just go to the bathroom or find a way to leave his area if I need to relieve myself. Definitely no shared bathroom time. Just no. I think some things should be kept a mystery.

CisWhiteMaeIstrom · 2016-04-26T22:16:24+00:00

I think fat and obese women tend to have digestive issues like this, because I've only encountered it with obese women. Just lose weight and you won't have to worry so much.

Title	Tootle time!
Author	denszil
Upvotes	10
Comments	27
Date	April 25, 2016 3:57 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/4gbnby/tootle_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/tootle-time.210071 https://theredarchive.com/post/210071

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