Funny enough some of my past topics in posts have actually become quite relevant as of lately. (Especially the one about commitment and sex!)

I’m dating someone at the moment who I find quite wonderful, we have a 10 year age gap but we have similar backgrounds (immigrants from more old fashioned cultures), he’s very much leading and providing through dates we have (though I have surprised him myself with my own treat in between), our conversations are really engaging and we have many similar interests (history and philosophy and we dive pretty deep), we’ve also discussed our families and situations growing up - I must also say that we are quite attracted to each other, though he’s a lot more vocal about that. I still try and compliment when it works smoothly into the conversation. We’ve been going on dates nearly a month.

Thing is - he can be quite touchy. I don’t mind smooching heaps and some cuddles a little hair grab but really I’m alright with that being it...I’ve never done anything more without being in a commitment and by the third big date we’ve been on I’ve had to gently ease him back and ask him to slow down. At the same night earlier he did ask if I wanted to go back to his place and I said I didn’t feel comfortable. So by that time I’m easing him back, I knew I had to get this shit down. I said I don’t want to be sharing physical intimacy of that level unless I know with certainty where I stand in his life and he in mine (read: commitment) and I need things to be more serious. I even said bluntly: if this is not your thing, then let me know now. I don’t want to pressure. I was willing to let this go if it’s not a match, he deserves his preferences and so do I. Instead he looks at me and nods slowly, saying he sees value in that. That he’s fine with it.

It’s difficult for me too since I like him but even in the moment I can’t bring myself to do it, be that close to someone and not be committed.

Is this a yellow flag that I’ve had to have this conversation? We’ve met up since then but during the daytime and we’ve only kissed, a slight grab/grope as well in a safe area. We’re still texting well and he’s quite attentive, like he’s been from the beginning.

What do you ladies think?