7 Things I Got Completely Wrong About Being A 'Good Wife'

mrp3anut · 2014-08-03T18:30:10+00:00

The first thing you should notice is the lack of concrete examples of the problems she had.

TheTerrorSquad · 2014-08-03T19:07:17+00:00

I honestly don't know what constitutes a "good wife" anymore,

obviously.

NataliyaKochergova · 2014-08-03T19:45:24+00:00

I think she does identify some mistakes correctly, but then she calls them strange names. She says “being non-confrontational” was wrong, because she always let things slide. Right, you are not supposed to “let things slide”. You are supposed to think about what’s bothering you, and then if it’s still bothering you, present it calmly to your husband, so you can resolve it. Or else you’ll build resentment. Doing this, IMO, is not the same as being confrontational (which implies aggression).

Also, what is “Covering for him”? She correctly acknowledges that she shouldn’t have called his social aversion “work stress” and shouldn’t have tried to make him go outside when he’s a homebody. But what does it have to do with covering? It’s just not nagging. If other people ask why he won’t go out, you don’t have to overexplain anything. He just doesn’t want to, he has preferences.

I also noticed her husband isn't a monster to live with, yet she still says this: “Maybe a good wife recognizes that she will never be able to be what her husband wants, and she takes one for the team by ending the marriage when it's obvious there's no fixing it.” Ouch! No, you don’t get to say you “took one for the team” by blowing up a marriage for no major reason. If you’d rather blow up the marriage than solve the problems you’re clearly capable of identifying, at least don’t try to pass yourself off as a martyr.

gabilromariz · 2014-08-03T19:14:29+00:00

Notice how the things she got "wrong" are things most people here have gotten right. Like deferring to your man, his decision goes or do stuff to make your man happier.

She kept trying to change him, no wonder they got divorced

aZombieKitten · 2014-08-03T19:33:54+00:00

It seems like what happened here was a case of neither of them being ready for marriage when they got married. She was unable to deal with her husband's changed personality (but never seems to want to figure out why his personality was different) and fell flat when it came to being properly supportive (like occasionally staying home with him when he didn't want to go out--I'm sure she made him feel like a loser for not wanting to go somewhere by leaving him at home alone). She doesn't realize that she and her H could have discussed things together but then have him make the final call without being "confrontational." You don't have to fight or argue whenever you disagree.

Also, did she never think to ask him why his moods were often off? It sounds like her former H might have been depressed, but she seemed to care more about how his moods affect her rather than how his moods affect him.

Kinned · 2014-08-03T20:38:38+00:00

Sounds like ahe didn't find a captain she could have 100% faith in.

lordofthejelly · 2014-08-04T01:32:48+00:00

I should point out that author here is Jenny Erikson, a woman who Dalrock has written extensively about

beginnerbuttocks · 2014-08-04T19:35:52+00:00

In defense of this post

"No, I thought it was preposterous. But I thought it would be a great article to discuss because it's about a woman who thought she was being RPW and being "a good wife" but her marriage failed. I thought the women here would be well placed to show us why the woman's decisions were bad and what women here could learn from the post about how to make their marriages better. I thought it was an amazing things for us to discuss and would add value to the reddit"

Lady_Motido · 2014-08-04T14:07:47+00:00

I'm just curious to why OP posted this article. http://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1vto1n/mod_rpw_posting_rules/

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Title	7 Things I Got Completely Wrong About Being A 'Good Wife'
Author	beginnerbuttocks
Upvotes	0
Comments	10
Date	August 3, 2014 5:25 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2cij4i/7_things_i_got_completely_wrong_about_being_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/7-things-i-got-completely-wrong-about-being-a-good.165653 https://theredarchive.com/post/165653

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