A kinky relationship question

__ROOSTER__ · 2014-04-02T19:53:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

__ROOSTER__ · 2014-04-02T19:29:38+00:00

Kinks are an individual thing and something a particular couple may enjoy. I have heard in the past of women coming here thinking it's a kink thing and then being distressed or angry that it's outside of the bedroom, not in. I recall hearing that it bothered the mods a lot to have this happen.

RPW is not a kink in and of itself. The two are separate entities and should be kept as such, as I'm sure we all enjoy a variety of kinks. Those are more personal issues.

Yes, studies have shown people in D/s or otherwise kinky relationships tend to have more solid relationships, but that doesn't necessarily make it a RP issue. Although it aligns with the RP reality of female desire, it doesn't necessarily do much to better the relationship otherwise, since it's primarily sexual and often doesn't blend into the regular relationship dynamic.

Bakerofpie · 2014-04-02T21:54:42+00:00

This sub tries to steer clear of all that because we are so often thought of as a fetish group. While some members are in that sort of relationship, it doesn't really have anything to do with being a RPW. I am in sort of a full time D/s situation, but I really view this sub as almost entirely separate from that aspect of my relationship. My entire relationship and its dynamic does not revolve around a fetish, and the normal, vanilla, Captain and first mate dynamic is what I get and work on from here. While the D/s part of my relationship extends past the bedroom, I don't think I would say it is a part of our entire lives, which is where RPW comes into play.

spnkdwife · 2014-04-02T21:06:26+00:00

I don't know what the official RPW opinion is on D/s relationships, I can only tell you what my opinion is as a self-identified RPW.

I think it fits in nicely with RPW, in that in any D/s relationship there is a leader (the D) and a follower (the s). For us, we have a 51/49 split - he gets a 51% "vote" as it were, I get 49%. It doesn't mean he is always right, and that we always do what he wants, when he wants, but it does mean that has his wife, I have agreed to provide him with my opinion on things he chooses to consult me on, and that he takes that information and ultimately makes the best decision for our marriage. Sometimes he doesn't ask for my opinion and that's fine by me too - we've agreed to that dynamic in our relationship.

As for some other aspects, as his RPW, I am expected to maintain the house, laundry, general well being of the marriage, etc. and should I - for no good reason - not live up to those expectations, then in his Dominant role, he can discipline me as he sees appropriate. And by discipline I mean any of the following: spanking, loss of privileges, grounding, writing lines.

It is an agreed to arrangement ala Taken In Hand and for us it works.

I'm sure there are plenty of RPW for whom it would not work and I don't speak for them.

TempestTcup · 2014-04-02T19:58:33+00:00

I'm personally not into things where you need props or audiences or whatever the hell D/s involves.

RPW does not take a stand on sex except to have a lot of it within the confines of a committed relationship and to not withhold sex for frivolous reasons like, "I'm tired!"

I would imagine that the ratios to kink in RPW are probably the same as the ratios outside of RPW.

__ROOSTER__ · 2014-04-02T19:51:09+00:00

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FleetingWish · 2014-04-02T21:23:10+00:00

I think it is not too far of a stretch to go rpw->taken in hand->bdsm. No, not every rpw is into bdsm, nor is every bdsm enthusiast is holds red pill ideas outside the bedroom, but they do have similarities and could be done together. Men being dominant, women being submissive, complete trust and communication with your partner, being turned on by a man who is in charge, etc.

__ROOSTER__ · 2014-04-03T01:09:51+00:00

if its not about sex why are you calling it kink

is there one word or concept this generation is going to leave alone so everyone can communicate as if we all speak the same language?

swift-heart · 2014-04-02T22:09:50+00:00

well...my particular kinks have little to do with my rpw leanings. i hate all that formal d/s protocol stuff and so does my bf.

we enjoy our slightly kinky sex life but the idea of applying a bunch of arbitrary rules to our everyday lives doesn't sound fun or sexy at all.

2014-04-03T05:00:05+00:00

*insightful not incite-full, sorry on a phone...

2014-04-02T19:52:51+00:00

rpw has nothing to say about this.

Title	A kinky relationship question
Author	__ROOSTER__
Upvotes	3
Comments	39
Date	April 2, 2014 7:21 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/221d3q/a_kinky_relationship_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/a-kinky-relationship-question.84375 https://theredarchive.com/post/84375

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