I made a long post that seems to have been eaten by the interwebs.

Me: 31, married 12 years, 2 kids

I want a red pill marriage, but don't know how to ask for it without coming across as critical of our marriage. We are both busy working parents - good marriage, loving, but would love to increase the fun, the sex, and become the best "us" possible. I think the red pill concepts would help. Problem is I read this stuff, he doesn't.

Things I am doing to help our marriage: have lost all baby weight and then some, am within 15 pounds of goal weight, I lift (he doesn't, wish he would, he isn't interested). Have started wearing sexy underwear, dressing better, improved self esteem from eating right, initiating sex often. I work part time so have more time to make the household run smoothly as far as meal planning, laundry, etc. When chores are efficient, we can better spend free time with the kids or eachother.

Strangely, as I initiate more, he seems to be less interested, and sometimes falls asleep early due to working hard all day, or even ignores me for video game or tv, which hurts when I am throwing myself at him. It shows me what he has felt like when I have said no, I'm too tired/stressed/busy in the past.

How should I ask for him to lead our marriage? It seems kind of risky if I ask for something he doesn't want... then it's out there. I think it would come naturally to him because he is a leader at work, very confident, and I am a natural follower. Do I state it very clearly in black and white? Hint at it? Just keep improving myself and acting submissive and encouraging him directly or indirectly to take the lead? Email him (would be easier to articulate than an awkward face to face conversation)? Send him a link to a red pill website?