Bringing the sparkles back

StingrayVC · 2016-02-18T17:16:51+00:00

The first thing that works for me to "bring back the sparkles" is to accept that they won't be there all the time and not resent the non-sparkle time. Those non-sparkly times make the sparkly times so much sweeter.

Second, don't try to force it. It ruins it for both of you. If you plan something and hope for sparklies and it doesn't happen you're going to be upset. Don't set yourself up for disappointment. Just enjoy it for what it is.

Third, be present. I can't tell you how often a sparkly time has shown up just because I sat down and listened and laughed.

Look at him and really see him. When you do this, I defy any woman to not get that giggly feeling in her stomach (with a good match). With this often comes gratitude and gratitude often brings the sparklies.

PhantomDream09 · 2016-02-18T19:13:31+00:00

What do you do to bring the sparkles back, focus on your SO as a priority or simply bring back a bit of the honeymoon phase?

I don't understand why people think that 'honeymoon' is just a phase, instead of a baseline.

I feel my relationship is becoming a routine.

If the routine is happy, stable, and engaging - why does anything need to change? I'm extremely predictable, and it doesn't bother me at all. I get my 'drama' fill from reddit, books, and trashy tv.

Go hiking, swimming, rock climbing, ride bikes, have a picnic, build something together, take on a project, volunteer somewhere, go horseback riding, fishing, to the gun range, play chess, cards, make a scavenger hunt, take a class together, do crosswords together, tell each other riddles, learn a language, go to a play...I don't understand why you're at a loss for ideas.

Just relax and enjoy life. Don't complicate things.

little_red_ · 2016-02-18T17:29:33+00:00

I feel my relationship is becoming a routine and I'm dreading it.

what about your relationship is 'routine'? do you not get out of the house enough? do you wish you had more activities to do together? youve only been living together for 6 months and you feel things are already stale - what do you think has contributed to this?

littleteafox · 2016-02-18T19:51:47+00:00

The other ladies have hit some good points. So to me, it sounds like you're just kinda bored with yourself and SO is content with how things are. Things to do around the house -- get experimental with cooking? Find out what your SO likes and meal plan for every day of the week. Bake him up some snacks for throughout the day (like protein bars). Does he like video games? You could game together. It's hard to make suggestions when I don't know your SO, I don't know what he likes or if he's happy with how things are. All I'm seeing is "I'm bored".

A lot of things in life can feel like a routine. We wake up, get ready, go to work, come home, fix dinner, eat dinner, go to bed, etc over and over and over. Routine doesn't mean bad. It can help you focus on appreciating the little things though. Now there's a thought. What about starting a gratitude journal?

CoochQuarantine · 2016-02-18T18:28:08+00:00

What do you do to bring the sparkles back

Just keep being pleasant and a good person to be around. If he wants to do things then he will initiate. You just follow his lead. Don't plan to make things better. That isn't your job. It is almost as bad as having a scheduled date night. If you don't feel sparkles that is on you. That doesn't mean he isn't feeling them. So just keep doing what you're doing.

_wingnut_ · 2016-02-18T17:19:16+00:00

SO hasn't complained but I'd like to surprise him :p

this is a controlling, drama seeking impulse

HappyWifeLife · 2016-02-18T17:41:02+00:00

you're bored because you aren't attracted to him and don't have any respect or common goal to work towards. Having a relationship with someone because their parents are supporting you/ giving you a place to live isn't anything we can help you with.

2016-02-18T17:44:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Bringing the sparkles back
Author	LadyOneEarth
Upvotes	7
Comments	46
Date	February 18, 2016 5:05 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/46fr14/bringing_the_sparkles_back/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/bringing-the-sparkles-back.85991 https://theredarchive.com/post/85991

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