Daddy-issue

CrazyHorseInvincible · 2018-10-08T17:24:31+00:00

Upon consideration, I am removing this post.

Demonizing men and/or TRP is specifically against the rules here, and this damseling moral rant about how everything is men's fault helps neither you, nor women, nor men.

Men, like women, have the natural right as living creatures to pursue their own happiness as a top priority, rather than sacrificing that happiness in a futile attempt to make the universe fair for you. They don't know you, they have no connection to you, they don't owe you anything, you are not their responsibility.

You may rewrite and re-post if you wish, focusing instead of asking for help dealing with your psychological problems, and your resentment of men, but any further insulting language like "these clowns" will result in a ban.

The only thing that TRP has ever done to or for you is to thoughtfully create and curate this space for you to ask questions and get help. Ingratitude is not called for.

GingerDoughGirl · 2018-10-08T15:26:47+00:00

The sentiment comes from the notion that a woman who has unresolved issues surrounding her relationship with her father may unintentionally carry those over into relationships with other men in their lives. As a woman vetting, I looked at what kind of relationship did this guy have with his family. You wouldn't want to date a man who hates his mother either. It goes both ways. You can not control how your parents acted. I have a pretty broken childhood too. However, I can control the light I see my family of origin in...trying to build empathy and understanding for my parents even with all of their flaws and mistakes. Bitterness, regardless of the cause, is a red flag for relationships. Women without positive male role models are going to be more likely to have a lot of bitterness towards men. It makes sense that it would make some men hesitant even if that bitterness can be easily explained. They are also going to innately have a much harder time trusting men because they have so few examples of good ones to look to...this is a big burden for a man to take on because he has to risk navigating serious trust issues he had no part in creating. It makes sense to be wary of that. I spent time in therapy to make peace with the hurts of my childhood and my fiance admires my resilience. If I was still angry about it all though I think he would be more prone to seeing me as broken, which is a risk for a serious relationship.

sailbymoonlight · 2018-10-08T16:12:38+00:00

My wife was an only child raised by a single mother. Yesterday was our 45th wedding anniversary. It's been a wonderful ride together so far. I have a few hints as to why.

My family environment as a child. Dad was gone a lot due to his work. I had two younger sisters, no brothers. The environment was totally estrogenic. I was used to a fuckload of little bottles in the bathroom. The male figure that my sisters looked up to was often me. I loved the feeling of being the big responsible protective helping brother. Still do.
She was tough. Her first house had an outhouse, hand pump for water and a wood stove for heat. When I met her she was a wilderness camp counselor, and with two years in the Peace Corps in Afghanistan - the only American in her town. Think biceps and abs (Her mom could be tougher. Was a pilot the WAVES in WWII.)

Instead of complaining about your devastation and heartbreak, or reading shit that just makes you sad, or moaning about the litany of men that never loved you, try making a life.

Count your blessings, challenge yourself to do hard things BECAUSE they are hard, get healthy outdoors, find an activity that is other-centered not self-centered. Get off Reddit and live in the real world. Life is hard, but that doesn't make it a total shit show.

You have company. I had to sort through a ton of dramatic actresses before I found the woman for me.

The idea here is you are attractive to good men when you are Capable, Active, and Proud of having done something to make the world better.

SbM

BooksAndCatsAnd · 2018-10-08T16:07:10+00:00

Ok so here’s the thing: I also have no father (he abused me severely and is out of my life permanently.) Relationships prior to my husband failed because I was still bitter and carrying low self worth. Once I resolved those issues sufficiently with years of therapy, they were no longer an obstacle to a healthy relationship. My husband is able to support me and remind me of the things I learned in therapy, we’ve raised a service dog to help me cope with the lasting PTSD, and generally unless you see me at my darkest moments, you’d never know.

Once you’ve dealt with the issue(s) formally and resolved them sufficiently, they become like any other negative mark in ones background - no one is perfect so if you are otherwise a catch and well matched, it isn’t an insurmountable obstacle.

LateralThinker13 · 2018-10-08T16:54:33+00:00

Oh boy. Here we go.

When I read that ‘women who did not have a good relationship with their father are not worthy relationship material,’ it makes me feel angry and sad.

So do you hate all vetting tips? Or just those that affect you? Because that's what this is - vetting. A way to weed out the great potential mates from the... less than great. Is a girl who had no father automatically bad? No. But if you're vetting for potential dates, and you have the choice between a girl with 2 parents and a girl with one, it's a no-brainer.

It's a red flag. It's not a full-stop, run for your life condition.

I’ve never been loved by ANY man in my entire life.

This is more telling. Why HAVEN'T you been loved by a man in your life?

Not Mom's boyfriends - is she lesbian? Does she shelter you from adult males?

Not a relative - either you have no male relatives, or they can't stand you?

Not a boyfriend - again, we're running into the "when the only common denominator in your lack of love is you" territory. The cause is most likely... you.

It is men that break their little girl’s hearts. And yet the red-pillers tarnish women with the title ‘daddy-issues’.

It is just as easy to argue that moms who make shitty mate choices break their daughters' hearts by providing an inadequate/absent male role model.

Daddy issues are caused because little girls need a male role model too, not just a female one. Girls who have a poor or absent male role model are at a MUCH higher incidence of health and psychological issues, including - eating disorders, promiscuity, violence, depression, drug use, and suicide. Like 6:1 or more in some cases. Because having a man in a little girl's life is essential, and too many women (and society itself) doesn't view it that way.

And then I go online and read these clowns saying that ‘all women are like that,’. Then they bang on and on about lets just ‘pump and dump,’

And listening to the male RP sect that is looking to get laid isn't going to help you. MRP/RPW will, because it is trying to help you develop the tools to get a relationship with a good male.

Too bad that all I’ve ever done is want someone to love, who wants to love me back.

Honestly, it's quite likely that without a healthy male role model, you were never taught the tools to have a healthy relationship. So you have two options:

a) be bitter, as you feel entitled to love

b) learn what earns you love, and do that.

You've got a) down pat. That you're here means, I hope, that you're willing to try b).

suzannehatton · 2018-10-08T15:48:29+00:00

Focus on learning to love a man, not on whether one loves you.

ManguZa · 2018-10-08T15:54:32+00:00

Show them that they're wrong.

About them create more single mothers... it's like a commandment to trp men who pump and dump to not ever have a child.

cynicalhousewife · 2018-10-08T16:25:38+00:00

As long as you develop insight into how not having a father impacts you and your judgement, and you work on this and fix any issues you have everything should be fine. It's not about what hardships you have been through, it's about how you respond to them.

Title	Daddy-issue
Author	itsrainingagainwetty
Upvotes	17
Comments	14
Date	October 8, 2018 3:02 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/9mflxl/daddyissue/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/daddy-issue.75231 https://theredarchive.com/post/75231

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