My (26f) boyfriend (48 M) is a strong alpha that is reliable and dependable and takes good care of me. He is highly disagreeable and a difficult person ( as I’m assuming most alphas are). He is very expressive about what he doesn’t like and believes in getting it off his chest so he can have a clear conscious and move on. But because of his high standards and perfectionism, there are a lot of things he doesn’t like and to me, it feels like he is constantly complaining and it really stresses me out.

I, on the other hand, am more laid back. Even if something bothers me, if it’s small enough I’m willing to sweep it under the rug because I don’t want to create small fights in my relationship. I take the ‘peaceful’ approach. That approach has backfired on me because it’s created a sense of ‘unfairness’ in the relationship, I feel unfairly treated because ‘I’m willing to not sweat the small stuff, why can’t he also just relax a bit ?’

My partner has also been very dismissive in the past. when I bring up things I am unhappy about he will say he’s a businessman and has bigger things to worry about, or ask me why I’m starting conflict when things are peaceful or just deny whatever it is that I’m bringing up for discussion. We have recently spoken about this and I told him to stop dismissing me whenever I bring up things I’m unhappy about since I always listen to him when he has complaints ( and he has many). He apologized and promised to do better moving forward. I believe he was unaware of his tendency of dismissing me, he is the boss at work and dismisses people and whatever they may be saying and out of habit, he might not have realized that he was being dismissive towards me.

He also urged me to speak out whenever I am unhappy, no matter how small it is, I should speak up to avoid anger building up inside me ( Which is ironic because he use to dismiss me a lot but he’s also the one inviting me to speak out 🙄). After all these months I feel some anger and resentment has built up inside me due to this ‘unfair treatment’ and dismissiveness.

He is now coming to the party and is more cooperative with regards to these issues we’ve been facing. I would like to ask on how I can clear up this anger I feel towards him because I believe there is still hope and really this 30% that I’m complaining about does not outweigh the 70% outstanding and amazing partner that he is.