Expensive Gift-Giving?

Ok_Philosopher · 2018-05-04T16:19:34+00:00

I've definitely expressed I prefer experiences over things, we've gone on a few trips together, etc. but I actually want something tangible, even if it's small or inexpensive, but has thought put into it.

Given that you expressed preferences for experiences over things, it's not too surprising that he hasn't gotten you anything.

Over date night or any time you're having a state of the relationship address, I'd talk about the love languages and how you realize you do best with gifts. Say something like, "nothing would turn me on more than a thoughtful surprise gift, that would make me so happy. What do you think your love language is? What could I do for you that makes you happy?"

Guys really appreciate blunt input about what makes us happy, delivered in an upbeat, non-judgmental/non-harpy way. So, I'd just tell him!

thelittlestpotato · 2018-05-05T17:05:31+00:00

People show their love in different ways, so I wouldn't fall into the trap of comparing your partner to others. My boyfriend is not the one to give gifts, and I learned that if I want something, I need to ask for it. After saying once that I would love a gift from him, I shut my mouth about it and focused on being kind to him. One month later, I was lamenting about how my running shoes absorbed water, but that I didn't have enough money to buy new ones. Out of nowhere, he suggested he buy me a new pair. On his next visit, he took me to New Balance and got me two new pairs of shoes. It was hands down the most thoughtful gift I have ever received, and I thank him for it again and again, especially on rainy days (one pair is waterproof!). I suggest the same for you. If you would like a tangible gift, then say so! Don't nag him for it, and focus more on what you can do for him. Often, this is all it takes to make a man to want to buy you things.

LuckyLittleStar · 2018-05-04T15:43:39+00:00

Please edit your post to include your question. Reply to me when you're done.

lespetiteschoses · 2018-05-05T08:46:19+00:00

My husband and I are very forward with this stuff, so if it was me I would just tell him that I love the idea of receiving a nice gift from him, and it would make me really happy. Maybe tell him that you'd be so excited to open something he's chosen out that you can keep and remind you of him. Men want to make us happy, so being clear with him is actually doing him a favour :)

zymbosa · 2018-05-05T20:31:11+00:00

How long have you been together?

BePrivateGirl · 2018-05-05T22:44:42+00:00

Why don’t you take the love language quiz with your partner and share the results with each other?

You’ll both learn something. Then all you can do is show him love in his language and hope for the best.

Privateaccount84 · 2018-05-07T21:32:52+00:00

I'm a guy who just came across this sub, hope you don't mind my suggestion.

If you want a physical gift and are not concerned about price, but the thoughtfulness of said gift, I think I have an idea that might get you what you want in a way that doesn't come off as scolding for lack of tangible gifts in the past, but as the start of a tradition of sorts...

The next event that requires a gift exchange (Valentines day, anniversary, birthdays) You suggest starting a little tradition between the two of you, that instead of normal gift giving, you each take some time and try to make something for the other. Something unique and special that takes time and effort instead of being about expense.

The only way I could see it backfiring is if he tries cooking... a valid interpretation of the suggestion, but not what you are after. You could maybe try and stress that you want it to be something that can be a keepsake that you can have for a long time, make it sound romantic. Guys like to fulfill fantasies when they can, and to me it seems like a solid strategy.

Title	Expensive Gift-Giving?
Author	zymbosa
Upvotes	5
Comments	15
Date	May 4, 2018 3:30 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/8h043m/expensive_giftgiving/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/expensive-gift-giving.67302 https://theredarchive.com/post/67302

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