I would really love some advice on how to feel here or what to do. Sorry this is long. I want to make sure if I am missing something in all this.

This guy started talking to me at my gym where I work and one thing lead to another. At first I was like hell no.. because he was really, really cocky. I told him I could not give him my number when he asked because I was talking to someone else (really) and he started kidding about how he is definitely better than whoever it is for this whole list of reasons. Who says that? But I figured whatever, it was actually kind of funny.. so I offered mine. But I still was not into him. I told him no when he tried to get me to hangout for drinks. And that was it. He never messaged me again. Fast forward a few weeks, and the guy I was dating ended up ghosting me after I finally slept with him and I was so hurt I wanted to get over him.. so I messaged this guy. I almost felt bad for giving him my number and not going out too. But I fell for him hard on the first date. He hugged me and lifted me into his arms when I got out of my car and carried me into the restaurant. Very, very sexual and kind of embarrassing. Too much almost, but also very comforting in the forwardness of it I guess? Nothing I have experienced before. And he seemed really interested in me. We talked awhile. I showed him my IG and he told me I am a really special person (long story short because I have no selfies. .just pictures of my family and friends and my dogs). And I have tattoos relating to my family. He genuinely seemed to appreciate all of it a lot. He explained he hates most girls these days.. hates the culture, dating apps, and that hes kind of oldschool. Which is how I feel. He also tested me sort of when we paid. He said "thanks for taking me out".. I was like, uhmmmmm, but he just sat there looking at me for a solid 20 seconds so finally I gave in and got my card but then he jokingly bumped into me rolling his eyes and took his wallet out. Not sure what to make of that. He wants to see if I would make a fuss? Anyway I thought he was my age 22 or maybe a little older, but turns out he is a lot older.. like 10 years older. Asked for his ID just to make sure and he was not lying.

I have only been with five guys since highschool and they all treated me like a piece of shit..I was commited at one point for trying to kill myself over my first ex who took my virginity and cheated on me after I practically raised his kid for him... my identity was tied to him and his son. Anyway. This guy is the first that has ever loved me like I want to be loved. He is like perfectly sweet, he is ambitious (business owner and ive googled his name to confirm it), first guy I have ever had multiple orgasms with and on the first time. Nothing is rushed or weird and I just feel REALLY comfortable with him. He compliments me on everything, but not in a creepy way. I can even fall to sleep with him which usually takes me hours on my own. My love language is touch and he massages and caresses me randomly when we cuddle. He said I have to learn how to kiss and give better blowjobs..which usually would really offend me, but maybe he is right... my exs never complained but they did not give one damn about my enjoyment either and they were all immature kids. He also says things in this almost sarcastic way that I have absolutely no idea if he is serious or not.

One tiny problem though. He is not looking for commitment of any kind. He was up front about that and explained he was hurt in the past and would not want to cause someone like me any pain. He thinks marriage is an industry that exploits everyone or something like that when I brought it up, but he did not explain why and I am not comfortable asking him too many questions yet. To make matters worse, he is dating other girls, one of which I sort of know from my gym. Or I think they are. They talk anyway and he touches her. I keep looking for signs that i am being used or something like that, but he is so forward that I second guess myself. On our third time at his place I started to feel awful and could not get in the mood, but he laid there with me and held me and we just talked. My ex used to get mad and yell at me when I did not feel good and I was expecting it almost. Which turned me on so we did it. The next day it happened again and he was cool again. We watched a couple movies and I left and messaged him an apology and thanked him for being chill. I know that will not last forever probably.

I want kids some day. I want marriage some day. He does not want either. Is this a lost cause? This feels so impossible.