Fights in a relationship

Sct1787 · 2025-04-21T00:01:10+00:00

Repeatedly calling is one of the easiest ways to push someone away, especially a guy. He seeks space away from you to breathe and you’re attempting to suffocate him by calling repeatedly (I know that may not be your intention but that’s the way it makes him feel, I know because I’ve been in his spot before).

Allow some time to pass and for things to cool down and rational minds to take over. If he’s interested in you he’ll reach out and if he isn’t, then you’ll know because he won’t. In either case, use this time productively to work on yourself

Nice-Awareness-5827 · 2025-04-21T04:22:21+00:00

One thing I’ve learned is that in moments where one of us is upset, it doesn’t need to be resolved that very minute. My man prefers sometimes to drop the conversation, allow for some space, and circle back later that day. This allows for me to collect my emotions. I had to learn (and am still learning) to accept that in the moment and not feeling the need to have a resolution immediately. I like to journal during the time where we aren’t discussing the issue and really put into words how I’m feeling. Also, I think key is also not fighting over a call or text.

Ok_Meaning4393 · 2025-04-20T23:19:47+00:00

I honestly think blowing up a phone might have positive intention but some people just need to be given space. Maybe making some boundaries? Asking for him to genuinely attempt to breathe it out and call you when he feels calm so you can both work it out. Maybe also say even though you’re upset you still do want to fix things because this disagreement isnt do or die. So both are wrong, him for the comment that you wouldn’t fix it. It sounds like you were putting your heart out there but setting his pride aside is what he should try.

Sorry I know it’s unorganized but DMs are open if any of that sounds good!

612King · 2025-04-21T01:27:34+00:00

I’m the same way, after a blow out I need space to chill by myself and cool off before I say something I don’t mean, that has longer unintentional consequences to the relationship.

JPDG · 2025-04-21T03:36:56+00:00

Most likely his experience is feeling controlled or manipulated (even though that isn't your motive) via your conditional statement ("If you do this I'll let it go"), creating even more stubborn resolve. I admire that you truly want connection and resolution.

I'd encourage you to take the fight out of the bar into the dojo. Clearly communicate your needs and give him space to do the same.

Consistent-Citron513 · 2025-04-21T03:11:41+00:00

Without context of the fight, there is no "wrong" here. There are different coping strategies & what seems to be different attachment styles. You are anxious and want to cling closer. He needs space and the repeatedly reaching out can feel like smothering. Give him the space and when calmer heads prevail, try to talk out boundaries and what you both need as individuals as well as from each other. I'm a mixed bag. Internally, I feel very anxious after a fight or disagreement. I want to reach out, but that has been met with so much punishment in the past, so I shutdown/retreat as it has shown to be a safer option in the past.

AutoModerator · 2025-04-20T22:16:24+00:00

Title: Fights in a relationship

Author Substantial_Coat1422

Full text: Fights in a relationship

Everytime we fight, I want to be closer and resolve it, he doesn’t answer calls or texts. When I call repeatedly it becomes my fault and I tend to become anxious because of past experiences too. Even today’s I told that , “Let’s speak properly for a minute and I’ll let this go” and he said that “ I won’t” Finally he says,” Everyone has a life because you get anxious can they not sleep “ Who’s wrong here ? I’m asking genuinely.

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Wife_and_Mama · 2025-04-23T02:13:41+00:00

You're both wrong. You should give him the space he needs. When he's ready, he should discuss things and give you the reassurance you need. Then you should let it go.

Honestly, this sounds like a compatibility issue. You want someone more sensitive. He wants someone more laid back. You're both wrong for how you're acting, but I don't know that either of you is wrong for what you need.

HalfwaydonewithEarth · 2025-04-23T11:48:15+00:00

Omg if you have to constantly fight with a guy, it's not the right relationship.

Love should be a warm blanket.

Ok_Meaning4393 · 2025-04-20T23:19:55+00:00

I honestly think blowing up a phone might have positive intention but some people just need to be given space. Maybe making some boundaries? Asking for him to genuinely attempt to breathe it out and call you when he feels calm so you can both work it out. Maybe also say even though you’re upset you still do want to fix things because this disagreement isnt do or die. So both are wrong, him for the comment that you wouldn’t fix it. It sounds like you were putting your heart out there but setting his pride aside is what he should try.

Sorry I know it’s unorganized but DMs are open if any of that sounds good!

Title	Fights in a relationship
Author	Substantial_Coat1422
Upvotes	8
Comments	13
Date	April 20, 2025 10:16 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1k3y0ne/fights_in_a_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/fights-in-a-relationship.1550166 https://theredarchive.com/post/1550166

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