One of the overriding themes I've seen here that needs to stop is this idea that, because we're women, we have to be "nice". I get it. We read TRP and many of the blogs and we're told to be sweet. What seems to be forgotten is that we are told to be sweet to our men.

First off, understand that the etymology of the word "nice" is foolish, stupid, and senseless. Yes, I realize that it might not be what people mean it as today, but we all must understand that it is very often still used in this manner. Nice girls and Nice guys just aren't respected.

Secondly, there is a time to be polite and then there is a time to not be polite. Being women and feminine does not mean that we spend our lives being forever nice. It means coming to understand the difference in when to be kind and when the situation calls for directness.

It is not unfeminine or unwomanly to be blunt, honest or even rude if the situation calls for it. It is our job to learn when those times are. It is also on us to learn that, since our husbands and SO's come first, it is not our duty to let another man down gently if that is not going to turn his interest away. It is not only more difficult in the long run for said man, but it is disrespectful to our man to not shut this situation down immediately. One can do that in a manner that is not being a flat out witch but is also not sweet.

This goes for dealing with other women in our lives as well. If they disrespect us, our marriage, or our men, one can begin politely (but clearly) state what the problem is. If that doesn't work, there is nothing wrong with blunt honesty and if necessary, doing what many might consider rude. Might it hurt some feelings? Yes, but we are responsible for our marriage and our husbands, not the feelings of another who has overstepped their bounds.