I(28) broke up with my ex boyfriend(27) last year. We know each other for 10 years, were together for a year and I initiated the breakup last November, over him retreating into his video games and smoking copious amounts of pot every day. However, outside his pot habit, he's a very decent guy, attractive, in shape, good job and career prospects. At the time, I was having a very rough time myself, between seeing our relationship on the decline, taking a pay cut and having an overall bad year. I was exhausted, stressed out of my mind, disappointed and quite an emotional wreck.

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Ever since the breakup, I have tried to mend things between us, while also working on myself. He rejected my attempts at reconciling saying that he's not willing to take back his word (agreeing to the breakup), that he can't see the potential of our relationship anymore without ignoring his gut feeling that it will all come crashing down again (presumably when I hit another rough patch), etc.

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After a couple tries which just made me feel worse, I had a 2 month NC period, thinking I need to try to get over him for good. Ever since February, I have also accepted to see a few other guys who asked me out but couldn't make it past a few dates since all I was thinking about was him.

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I worked hard on myself, got a new, better paying job, moved to a cheaper flat, put more effort into my appearance, worked on meeting new people, befriending women, being more independent and in control of my emotions. I tried to have as much control over my life as possible, so I could focus on rebuilding trust and being patient with him.

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In late July, I reached out to him again, we saw each other and I am now in a plate-type situation. I genuinely want to try my best at reconciliation, not by ultimatums or demanding, but by slowly earning back his commitment. He stopped smoking pot on a daily basis and has toned down his gaming habits. However, the situation is really getting at me and I'd like to hear some advice.

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Current situation:

- we are exclusive, he pushed for it saying that having sex with someone is special in his book. He also willingly shared that he hasn't tried to be with anyone else while we were apart;

- I think he's very much physically attracted to me, since he's complimenting me and also saying that this is the best sex he's ever had;

- we always see each other at his place, where he's currently living with flatmates (which are also his best friends), so he doesn't try to hide me from them, although it could be easy, since I live alone;

- he does cute thoughtful stuff for me, like making sure I'm not cold, holding me, always sending me off with a kiss, sometimes driving me to his place or back home in the mornings, buying me dinner, etc;

- he also compliments my cleanness standards (which he is well aware of, since we've lived together at some point);

- I told him I really want to give this relationship the best I got and that I still care tremendously about him. Which is true, I never liked anyone else more than I like him;

- we currently see one another about twice a week, when we either attend a concert and then sometimes back to his place or we have dinner/movies/hangouts with his flatmates, then I spend the night;

- he mentioned that he doesn't think he could have a proper relationship right now, as he's displeased with his living situation (he's saving money to buy his own place, but that could easily be 1 or 2 years from now);

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HOWEVER

- he says he likes me, but doesn't think we can go back to what we had;

- I told him about the guys that I accepted to go out with. Recently he told me that it just feels that I'm more invested in this than he is and that from his side, it would feel like he's taking advantage. That my decision to stick by his side seems unfavorable to me, since the sea is big and there are many fishes. I'm not really sure if he meant that about himself, that he'll leave me as soon as someone better comes along, or hinting at me going out with other guys;

- he won't have much initiative over when we see each other. He told me he'd prefer if I was the one who initiated our conversations and times when we see each other; This particularly makes me feel VERY insecure and scared;

- he's usually a very private and non-talkative guy and he sometimes seems very emotionally guarded towards me;

- he lacks relationship experience, only had 2 partners before me, one in highschool, which didn't last beyond a couple months and another 2 year relationship in which he claims the girl made him feel trapped in his own home, he had to provide for her, she complained about his gaming and pot habits constantly and who he wasn't very attracted to;

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I don't want to be strung along for years, based on the fact that I like him a lot and I hope for things to improve between us, but I keep thinking that if I just gave him more time and I show him I'm in it for the long haul and I'm not in the same place I was last year, he'll eventually come around. I also don't think waiting for him to get established with his own place then trying to make a move would earn me any points, since he'll just brush me off as a gold-digger. I think he likes me, but is somehow weary. Or doesn't like me enough.

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Any advice on how should I proceed? What more could I do?