Help for a beginner?

Sobinia · 2020-04-13T22:03:19+00:00

I'd highly recommend reading the wiki of this subreddit, as it's full of Redpill theory and advice, including where to start. As for good YouTube channels, Mrs Midwest and Cynthia L are amazing for starters.

Another thing that might help you is taking an honest look at yourself: both in the mirror, and in your mind. When re-evaluating your looks, ask yourself these questions (this isn't meant for you to start seeing and obsessing over even the tiniest flaws!):

Am I overweight? If the answer is "yes", contact a dietician or, if you aren't able to do so, visit subs such as r/diet, r/1200isplenty, r/1500isplenty and r/fitness. Keep in mind that when it comes to weight loss, most of the success comes from your diet, not exercise.
Am I dressed sloppily and do I dress like that on a regular basis? The way you clothe yourself determines how others perceive you. If you wear T-shirts with Han Solo's face printed on them, people will assume you're a Star Wars fan. If you chose a blouse and an elegant, black skirt and purse instead, you will be perceived as high maintenance. If you put on a dirty T-shirt and old sweatpants, others might think you don't respect your appearance and body.
Is my body groomed? I understand that we're currently on lockdown and some people might skip showers every now and then because of that, but... now is the time to start forming good habits. Is your hair washed and combed? If it's dyed, does the dye cover all of the hair? Do you have pimples or blackheads? Is your skin moisturized? I understand that some things like scars, stretch marks or wrinkles cannot be removed entirely, but if your body is well-kept as a whole, they won't attract that much attention.

As for your mind, ask yourself these questions?:

Am I taking responsibility for my mental issues (if you have them)? This includes therapy, taking meditation on a regular basis, meditation, journaling and not blaming all of your behavior on mental ilness.
How do I treat my man? Do you intentionally nag him? How do you handle criticism? What about arguments? Do you tend to say hurtful things when you're upset? Do you support him?
How would my friends/family describe me as a person? Ask them for honest feedback, to tell you about both your flaws and positive traits. Cultivate the good sides of your personality and work on the negative aspects.

When it comes to cooking, I'd recommend a channel on Youtube called Binging with Babish. Start simple too. If you try to make a 4-course meal at once, odds are that you'll fail miserably. Use what you have in your cupboards. Once you've gained some experience, try to cook all of your food for one week. The same applies to cleaning. Start by tidying your flat. Don't buy super expensive cleaning devices just yet. Instead, learn to use what you already have.

Start budgeting. Take a look at what you spend your money on and if it is necessary. Mrs Midwest has a video regarding this topic. If you want me to, I'll post a link to it.

I hope you found this advice helpful. I apologise for any spelling/grammatic mistakes, English is my second language and I'm writing this comment at 12 am. I'll edit it in the morning.

Captainsgirl · 2020-04-14T04:22:31+00:00

First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't talk about this a lot, but I had two miscarriages in a row in between my youngest two sons and it was absolutely heart wrenching. I don't know if you need this or it helps, but after that I went on to have my now 6 year old. And what I think about when I need to is how I'm relatively certain that if I hadn't had those miscarriages, I wouldn't have ended up with this amazing little boy who loves books about nature and science and who loves our two dogs with his whole being and who reads to me every night because "I know you like being read to, Mom." Of all my children (we have 4 sons total) he is the most sensitive and gentle. I believe we have the children we are meant to have and love. I have every hope for you that you will also have the child(ren) that you are meant to have and love.

As to self care and cooking and all the rest.

Cooking: cooking can be fun! I personally love cooking and find it to be something that I use for self expression. But the things that I would say to you is "start simple." I don't know what your starting point is, but if you have never cooked a dish in your life, start simple. Make fried hamburgers, taco meat (with prepackaged taco seasonings), baked potatoes, scrambled eggs, pasta with pre-made marinara sauce. Whatever your starting point is, find some easy recipes and then practice those. Cooking is both a science and an art. Once you practice cooking basic things, branch out to things that still feel comfortable to you. The thing I love about cooking is that with some skills, you can make your dishes whatever you want them to be. I personally hate green peppers, olives, and mushrooms. But since I'm the one cooking, I don't have to eat those things if I choose not to. Also, spices and herbs are your friends. They add so much to cooking. Once you start practicing, the sky is the limit. Don't be intimidated. We all make mistakes when trying out new stuff sometimes, and that is fine. Just try to figure out where things went wrong last time. If you want some very simple recipes to get you started, DM me and I will be happy to expound.

As to self care (dressing, make up, et cetera) that is hard to say without knowing your body type and face. But here are some general tips.

1) Keep yourself clean and moisturized. I have sensitive skin and what I find works best for my skin is Cetaphil face wash at night, Cetaphil lotion on my face in the mornings, and believe it or not, coconut oil on my body after showers.

2) Make up - you will need to find your personal style. Personally, I find I'm most comfortable with a "less is more" approach. I use foundation, a light peach blush on my cheeks, brown eye liner on my top lids only, a light brown/gold eyeshadow on my lids, brown black mascara, and lip gloss. I'm NOT saying that is what you should do. I have no idea about your coloring and features and style. But I AM saying that if you're not comfortable with it, you don't need to go HAM on the makeup. Personally, I think I look better with light makeup and my captain seems to agree.

3) Clothes - again, this is going to depend on your body type and personal style. Personally though, one thing I would say to avoid is clothing that has writing or (most) pictures on it. I have one T shirt that has a stylized elephant on it, but I would say avoid brand names or slogans, and be choosy about graphics. If it's me, I stick with plain colors or simple prints like stripes. I personally avoid animal prints like Covid19 but YEMV. Lol But most of all, look for shapes that flatter your figure. For accessories, I am again of the school that less is more. If you want to wear a bold piece, I love that, but then let it be the center piece. Wear simple colors and jewelry with it to let that one piece stand out.

What else...

Oh yeah, 4) cleaning. Here is what you should be cleaning every day:

1) Kitchen. Don't get lazy about your dishes and counter tops. I get it. I HATE handwashing dishes, and oh guess what, all of my pots and pans and knives are hand wash only. Ugh. But I can promise you that every time I've been like "yaknowwhat, I'll just handwash these pans tomorrow morning" I've been sorry the next day because now I am behind and I still have to handwash these dishes on top of everything else I have to do. Present me is pissed at past me. Just freaking wash all the dishes, wipe down your counter tops, clean the sink, and quick sweep the floor. I may be saying that to myself. Lol

2) Make the beds. When I was a teen, I was like "why do I have to make the bed every day? I'm just going to sleep in it again tonight!" But making your bed makes the whole room come together and it just feels better to crawl into a made bed at night.

3) Laundry. Actually, you may not have to do this every day depending on your family. I have a 6 person family so if I don't wash clothes every day, things pile up real quick. But don't let it pile up. Wash, dry, fold, and put away laundry as often as needed to stay on top of it. Doing a load or two is a lot easier than doing 5 loads. Trust me.

4) General pick up. It will take 5-10 minutes tops if you do this daily. If you let it build up, you are more likely to feel overwhelmed and grumpy.

5) This is more a thing since the virus (used to be more like once a week) but wipe down doors, door handles, light switches, et cetera with a disinfectant.

Every couple of days:

1) Dust and vacuum. I guess YEMV here too, but we have pets and live in a very dry environment. If I don't dust every couple of days our house starts to look like a tomb.

2) Check out the fridge. Still got leftovers in there that are getting long in the tooth? Get them out now before they become nightmare fuel.

Once a week:

1) Those bathrooms aren't going to clean and disinfect themselves.

2) Change and wash sheets and bedding

3) Mop hardwoods/tile/linoleum (unless it gets noticeably dirty in the meantime, obvs)

That's not everything that's needed to keep a house clean, but those are some basics. Feel free to let me know if you have questions and good luck!

2020-04-14T00:42:30+00:00

I am sorry for your loss. I hope you are giving yourself the grace you need to grieve and heal x

Chioloop · 2020-04-14T17:49:01+00:00

For the skincare:

+Drink water.

+Use sunscreen every day of the year

+Use a simple cream, I do not recommend the creams that promise miracles. Also look for a cream that doesn't have an odor or color, since it can have components that damage your skin.

+Don't touch your face.

+If you have acne, don't touch it and don't expose yourself to the sun. If it's too much, see a dermatologist, homemade solutions or cosmetics can make everything worse.

+If you wear makeup, remove it with water or biphasic solution if it is eye makeup.

And NEVER sleep with makeup on

4kaesthetic · 2020-04-14T23:17:23+00:00

Everyone else pretty much addressed the important points, but I'm surprised nobody mentioned r/SkincareAddiction. It's a reallyyyy helpful sub and their wiki has lots of useful information. It's also important to note that everyone has different skincare needs, so skincare advice isn't really one-size-fits-all. It depends on your skin type and proclivities and conditions and whatnot. Simple Skincare Science is also one of my favorite skincare blogs. He does a lot of reviews and skincare guides, so I think his blog is definitely worth checking out if you really want to get more into skincare. You don't need a crazy, detailed, long routine though. You should try to keep a minimal routine if you can afford to. A simple routine of face wash and moisturizer should be perfectly fine unless you have acne or hyperpigmentation and you need a more detailed regimen. The two resources I mentioned should be good to help you figure out what face wash and moisturizer will be best for you, and both of them also have detailed information on exfoliation and anti-aging routines. Best of luck ❤

Kara__El · 2020-04-13T21:36:13+00:00

Start with Mrs. Midwest. She's likely younger than you, but she has some great basics lessons.

LanaTownsend · 2020-04-13T21:59:06+00:00

just do a youtube search for 'femininity tips'. you can find anything online.

Chioloop · 2020-04-14T17:30:56+00:00

I recommend you the channel of Emi Wong if you want to start an exercise regime, it helps a lot to be stronger, healthy and skinny.

dogbeaches · 2020-04-14T19:16:11+00:00

I am brand new as well! Welcome to both of us! :)

amadexodus · 2020-04-13T21:54:54+00:00

++ recommend Mrs Midwest, particularly if you’d like to work on your appearance and demeanor. There’s also a few posts in this subreddit that summarize chapters of For Women Only that I found helpful when I was getting to know what masculine men need from us women.

Title	Help for a beginner?
Author	xLuxex1988
Upvotes	6
Comments	15
Date	April 13, 2020 9:07 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/g0rnl6/help_for_a_beginner/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/help-for-a-beginner.653774 https://theredarchive.com/post/653774

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