How to improve when your nervous system gets flooded?

jtriangle · 2022-05-13T22:56:22+00:00

cptsd and he doesn't get help for it

That doesn't sound like captain material to me, combine that with the distance, and you're with a guy who's ship is taking on water. Sure you can help him bail the water out, and you should to some extent, but if he's doing nothing to repair the holes, that's not a tenable situation to be in.

I'm not saying "get out now", that's not a call anyone here can, or should, be making. What I will tell you is that you need to breach the subject with him and strongly encourage him to get help. There is help available, it's not a pleasant process at first, but it does get better and will tangibly improve him in every way.

Kaleidoscopiquant · 2022-05-14T00:54:04+00:00

two sensitive, traumatized people bouncing off and triggering each other is a recipe for disaster.

you are responsible for your triggers (and he his). you can't change him, so you need to either fix yourself and get to the point where you can be the solid rock of the relationship, or you need to find a man who can be that for you.

BumbleBitny · 2022-05-13T22:35:35+00:00

What's causing the conflicts? No couple can avoid all conflict but senseless bickering is easily solved by just not baiting it. It's a lot easier to work through arguments together when not everything is an argument.

Advanced_Bar_673 · 2022-05-14T15:29:27+00:00

Do some research on Attachment Theory. Sounds like you both are Anxious/ Avoidant and need to learn skills to objectively handle conflict. Usually those styles are best suited to finding a Secure style partner, although this becomes more challenging as you get older because typically, secure/ stable people pair off with each other. (This is another reason dating as you get older proves more challenging... Frankly the "lower baggage" people have already partnered off).

I personally use CBD as a way to calm anxiety. Going for a walk, deep breathing, yoga, or a hobby like knitting are all productive ways to channel anxiety into healthy outlets.

It's not really a negative thing if he needs space (men like to retreat to their cave). It's how you both handle the conflict when you do come back to each other that matters. Do you both continue to argue? Do you pretend nothing happened and put your heads in the sand? Do you try to come up with a plan of action to solve the issues? Do you personally get very emotional and overwhelm him?

Sounds like you both need some help to sort through these issues, and listening to an audio book together on Attachment might be a good start. Good luck!

Mirchii · 2022-05-15T19:55:29+00:00

Personally, high quality CBD distillate (oil, crumble, diamonds, flower, etc). Really helps my anxiety and mental wellbeing, as well as loads of other benefits.

Note: CBD is not psychoactive. Zero THC (or <= 0.02%) by law in the UK.

I find that chelated magnesium glycinate supplements (or magnesium l-threonate) also helps my anxiety and quality of sleep. In addition I take various other supplements like vitamin D, B complex, Zinc, and so on.

Title	How to improve when your nervous system gets flooded?
Author	tab_log
Upvotes	16
Comments	18
Date	May 13, 2022 10:27 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/up3378/how_to_improve_when_your_nervous_system_gets/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-improve-when-your-nervous-system-gets.1114331 https://theredarchive.com/post/1114331

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