My parents are both a bit abusive in different ways, it’s gotten better since I’ve become an adult but sometimes it still happens.

I complained to my mother that my dad sends me rude texts and that it bothers me. I also told my mom that it makes me want to block his number. Perhaps that was excessive but if you saw the messages he sends me you would side with me. He has no right to make me so distressed I have panic attacks. My father decided to become very offended by this and yelled and cursed. I stood my ground and told him I don’t apologize, he is overreacting to me expressing my feelings. Never once did I yell or curse at him. I did antagonize him a little bit when I told him ‘how very elegant of you’ but what I said was a lot nicer than what he said.

I think for once I’ve found a way to keep my composure and femininity while arguing. I refuse to let their behaviors rub off on me.

On this journey of femininity I’ve worked hard to make my relationships with my boyfriend, friends, and family flourish. Family is very important to me but my father’s short temper is unbearable and when I respectfully complain about it he blows a fuse. I really want to be the perfect woman and there are many things I’ve taken control of in my life and made flourish, but why can’t I have this one thing? A good relationship with my parents. The kind of relationship where you talk about anything and everything. The kind you can be open and supported as much as you support your parents. I’ve done so much with so little in return, not even an acknowledgment of their poor behavior.

I’ve threatened to disown them over issues like this, they somewhat promise to change, then back to the same pattern.