Hello all,

This is my first post here. I'm 39 and married with a little boy (3). I became gradually disillusioned with feminism after giving birth to my boy and realizing that all the feminist ideals that were fed to me for decades left me ill-prepared to handle maternity. I hated the way that so many people around me, including close female friends, expected me to keep prioritizing my job and couldn't understand why I couldn't go out as much as I did before because my son and my husband came first. This led me to feel isolated and very depressed. During this time, I entered a cycle of overeating and neglecting my appearance, which made me feel even worse.

I'm seeing a therapist now and I'm getting better. But I'm still looking for ways to improve myself, to look better and to feel more feminine. My parents gave me strong values, but my mother never really taught me how to present myself as a feminine woman and be attractive. It's only now that I see how important these things are and how feminism has filled my head with "screw what any man thinks, do whatever you want and dress however you want, be a boss b**** with a loud mouth", etc. No thank you.

This is especially important to me as I feel my husband, who is a wonderful man and father to our son, really held my head out of the water when I was depressed. He deserves to come home from work to a wife who makes his day better with a positive attitude and a polished appearance. But it's still a struggle for me and I don't know anyone around me who can help.

Have any moms among you struggled with the same issues? Thanks in advance for any advice you might have.