Is there any solution for this?

ArkNemesis00 · 2024-02-13T19:52:57+00:00

I can be a bit of a control freak. I told my husband I was cool with no gifts, I would rather we agree on a dollar amount that I can save/spend on exactly what I want. He still takes me out for dinner at a restaurant of my choosing for my birthday and our anniversary, Valentine's Day I usually cook at home.

In my opinion, if you want to pick the gift, you're taking the thoughtfulness out and leaving them with an errand. Which can work for some couples, like mine, where I'm down to do the shopping and thank him for his generosity, while he doesn't have to lift a finger. He hates gifts, so we're both happy.

I just hate when people spend their money on me and I can't fully appreciate it! I try to keep lists going year round so I can help people with gift ideas if they ask. We can try to turn our weaknesses into strengths this way. And yes, not being able to appreciate a loving gesture even just at face value is a weakness. A smile and a "thank you for thinking of me" can go a long way.

CranberrySoftServe · 2024-02-13T19:36:16+00:00

I apologize if this seems callous, but you come across as ungrateful in this post. Your boyfriend is thoughtful enough that he's getting you flowers for your birthday, anniversary, valentines, and he is buying you jewelry.

I can understand maybe complaining about a jewelry gift if you're allergic to a metal he buys- that's a valid reason to ask for something different. Complaining about a gift of jewelry because you didn't like the shape of it? That's more likely to push him away and start thinking about looking for a different woman who would be grateful for gifts from him.

FrankieOKnows · 2024-02-13T19:38:53+00:00

Your behavior is materialistic and ungrateful, which is why your boyfriend is reacting the way he did. Perhaps this is a case of incompatibility, though I doubt there are many other men who would not have the same reaction that your boyfriend did.

You are not entitled to gifts, and your reaction does not do much to inspire him to get the things you actually want. I find people with “gift receiving” as a love language as shallow, because your feeling of security and intimacy is built on finite material things rather than trust or care.

TheBunk_TB · 2024-02-13T20:05:49+00:00

I'm going to be the mean one here:

(a) There are plenty of women that would be grateful to get those gifts

(b) Is his change of gift because of pricing?

(c) Are your tastes outpricing his income?

(d) Are you preparing for any type of future? I'm steering away from insulting you but you may be lacking in vision.

You may want to move on but it might be for his own good.

valleybrook1843 · 2024-02-13T19:38:28+00:00

It’s frustrating when you are getting gifts and you are not getting what you really want. Try to experiment with telling him your desires when it’s not right before a “big holiday “. I would love a diamond necklace or (fill in the blank) whatever you want… then relinquish all expectations. Just leave the desire there. He controls the timeline. Men want to feel in control especially when they are gifting you something- they want to be your hero. Make a big deal when he does gift you something you really like. Practice receiving- receiving of any and all gifts graciously. When you receive graciously you inspire others to give you more. You said should I “move on”? Did you mean move on from the relationship or the desire for gifts ? If you want to move on from the relationship, that’s completely up to you- you are the expert in your own relationship.

AutoModerator · 2024-02-13T19:02:02+00:00

Title: Is there any solution for this?

Author afterschoolact

Full text: My boyfriend gives me gifts that are not the things I like or I show I like. This is not the first time that happens. Last time he gave me a necklace and I did not react the best way, like I asked why it was that shape and maybe I not said thank you. (I am not the type of person who knows how to lie or pretend). He got upset that time and told me that maybe nobody taught me to even if I do not like it I should have been grateful for the gift.

He also did not give me big gifts for anniversary, birthdays or valentines. things such as flowers(nice bouquets) were the only gift for anniversary and valentines and so birthdays it was traveling and a restaurant. Now I told him I like a certain necklace and I just saw that he went to a total different store a bought something that probably again I would not like.

Does anyone experience this and was able to make their bf understand this? how can I achieve to change that? Is this just a waste of time and I should move on?

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Puzzleheaded-Log686 · 2024-02-13T21:03:36+00:00

Make a pinterest of things you like in different price ranges! You can do different floral arrangements or shoes or jewelry in your coloring. My sister did this with her husband and i told him about her pinterest so he gets all the credit of looking good without flat out having her give him a wish list

Title	Is there any solution for this?
Author	afterschoolact
Upvotes	0
Comments	19
Date	February 13, 2024 7:02 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1aq1hb2/is_there_any_solution_for_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/is-there-any-solution-for-this.1245322 https://theredarchive.com/post/1245322

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