Low T Hubby

LadySwitters · 2017-12-14T20:51:26+00:00

My guess would be.. if you started taking care of yourself... without nagging him to do it.... he may naturally want to joint you if for no other reason than he wouldn't want to be left behind. I don't see why you would resent him if you're doing it for yourself, and not as a covert tactic to get him to change.

TheLaughingRhino · 2017-12-15T06:55:56+00:00

Nearly all men who are "game aware" will tend to see a wife suddenly making dramatic changes at the gym and fitness as a "red flag"

Not a red flag to her health, as it is self improvement, but the questions generally arise

1) Is she preparing her highest SMV so she can land soft when she eventually leaves? 2) Is there someone else already she is interested in and wants to appeal to that person?

Sounds like you like the stability, but as you say, you want a "life trajectory without him"

Best unsolicited advice, how would you feel if he was having conversations with others about a life trajectory without you. How would that make you feel? Would you rather he leave than basically boil it down to "settling" for what you are instead of accepting who you are, right here and right now.

The problem with the "One More Thing" Principle is if a person actually changes that one more thing, will another one more thing issue immediately crop up.

My observation is when a woman starts to build up reasons to leave, she's already emotionally checked out.

He is who he is. You can accept him or you cannot. If you cannot accept him here at the time and place, then the relationship is over. When it ends is another matter entirely. The hard irony of any reveal to show someone is not a Captain is often that the curtain comes back and you also find there is an absence of a First Mate as well.

And I agree with LaceAndSilks. You are talking about what you want. The other issue is what you are proactively doing to make the situation better yourself. Key to note, pushing someone to change to fit your ideal of them is not making a situation better. Accepting people for who they are given the time and place or leaving if you can't handle that is the only road to be fair to both people in the end.

You don't have to answer the following, but the question is going to crop up eventually.

Have you recently met someone else who does generate romantic interest for you?

girlwithabike · 2017-12-15T02:08:13+00:00

Two things:

His doctor said it was in the range of normal.

Sometimes doctors are terrible. If you (he) go to one and get an unsatisfactory answer, you (he) should keep going to doctors until they actually help you. You have to be your own advocate. I know this from personal experience. I saw a doc (way back) because I was tired all the time, he told me that I was depressed and to go to the gym. When I nearly passed out at the gym one day, my husband pushed me into finding a new doctor. As it turns out I had an underactive thyroid and one pill a day changed my life. But I spent 6 months more than I needed to because of a lazy doctor who didn't want to listen to my concerns or run a few tests.

But here is my real concern with your post:

It is all about how you are unhappy with your husband. You don't like his body, sex isn't good enough and he's not doing what you think he should for his health. And I get it. It's hard to be attracted to man who has let himself go - especially if you have not. The problem is that if this is how you are writing your post on this sub, then these attitudes are probably creeping out into your marriage.

Do what you want to do for your own health and take a step back from his. While you are focusing on yourself check out the Surrendered Wife or something similar and hit up the sidebar. It sounds like you are leading him and around here we don't believe that is the best path to a happy husband and a happy marriage (not to mention happiness for ourselves). I know it sounds like trivial advice but I really think you need to spend some time on the sidebar and then reevaluate what your relationship dynamic looks like. You may find that if you stop trying to lead him, he'll pick up the reigns and get in shape all on his own.

tempintheeastbay · 2017-12-17T21:43:10+00:00

You've got a husband who works hard enough to support 5 children and allow you stay home with them. He handles the finances sufficiently well that you don't sound stressed about them at all - in fact you have enough stability to contemplate things like side businesses.

Hopefully you and your husband are able to get fit and prepare for old age well, but I just want to emphasize that masculinity has a lot of dimensions. If your husband isn't appealingly masculine in one way right now (you say "he has breasts") perhaps you can focus on the ways in which he is. He sounds like a great provider, family leader, and maybe father as well?

RedPillWonder · 2017-12-17T23:54:55+00:00

He needs to be in the upper 1/3 of the lab reference range for testosterone.

Labs will have slightly different ranges on the lower and higher, but I've used Quest Diagnostics and theirs is (I'm rounding up a bit) 300 to 1300 ng/dL for total testosterone.

You also want to get his free T checked.

For lab reference ranges, there's a huge difference in the way a man will look and feel if he's in the upper range vs the lower.

More strength, energy and sex drive. Easier fat loss and muscle building. Assertiveness and confidence. Better heart health. The list goes on. It's impressive.

That's why any man at any age should do what they can to maintain optimal T levels.

And that's the thing, as one comment noted, he should shoot for optimal.

He should avoid being "in range" verses "average" and go for optimal.

That said, even a 600 total T is far better than 300. Both are within lab reference ranges, but as I said, he'll look and feel differently is he's the former as opposed to the latter.

Note: Stress is a T killer. Cortisol, specifically. As famous strength coach Charles Poliquin has noted, to increase T, decrease C.

Try and do things to help ease the stress burden he has.

If you have the money, I'd recommend you spend it to get him a WellnessFX performance test. They're on the pricey side, but you get a lot of info. You'll get total and free T, and many other things. Metabolic panel, CBC, TSH, RBC magnesium, inflammation markers, iron and ferritin and dozens of others.

He needs to "look under the hood" and see everything that's going on.

And for supps, I'd recommend vitamin D (works well with vitamins A and K), magnesium and zinc.

And, of course, plenty of sleep, exercise and lifestyle changes to reduce stress.

For your part, don't nag.

Encourage him.

Blow him. Frequently.

Give your husband all the sex he wants or needs.

Do NOT criticize him about bedroom stuff. Not now. You can bring it up tactfully at a later date.

Make him feel like a King in every way you can and (sincerely) build him up. Find things he does and is good at and make little comments. Not over the top. Not "heavy" in that it comes across as fake or insincere. "Light" and consistent is good. Stronger occasionally.

Be his "soft place to land"

Dress provocatively when you two are alone.

One of the best ways to influence a man is to get his friends to recommend something, so it comes across better and he has a different perspective than if "the wife" says it.

That said, only do this if you know the friend's wife and you tell her and she has her husband do it. You going directly to another man to say something to your husband (unless you're already good friends with the man) is not very appropriate.

We'll stop here.

Good luck!

Grrrlyboymom · 2017-12-14T20:58:22+00:00

Oh! And he is going to the doctor for blood work tomorrow! Our deductible is met, and I appealed to my desire to get his D levels. I'm going to hand him a list to include T and zinc. I don't understand the hormone aspect, though. Does anyone know what exactly needs to be tested for a comprehensive panel? I'm on many natural fitness groups on Facebook, but I don't want to out him!

Redpilledcf · 2017-12-18T18:39:24+00:00

He let you stay home with 5 kids and you don’t worry about finances and now you wanna dump him because even though you are also over weight you’ve decided to get healthy. That sounds like a horrible bait and switch. I would hope you realize being a single mom to 5 kids it’s going to be hard to find someone else to take that on. Especially if you want someone fit.

RedIntrovert · 2017-12-14T23:41:29+00:00

Consider this, get him to research, really think about this before any action happens:

Get him on TRT. It’s essentially a low dosages of steroids. It’s low enough that he will see health benefits, bring his testosterone levels to “slightly” above average (about 1100) and improve everything.

In so doing as well, he’ll actually naturally get an inkling to start lifting weights and I assure you, he’ll have energy that needs to be released and it will be on you 😉

He will also get much more masculine, more confident and more decisive.

TRT is pure magic. I again have to stress proper research but the thing is, I’m gonna make a very justified assumption that you don’t want more children so that worry is non existent (even though too many examples of men on TRT still having kids are in message boards).

needaparka · 2017-12-20T15:05:33+00:00

300 is incredibly low.

600ish is normal for a man in the 20-50 age range.

Hell, I had 600 and still got TRT -- albeit I was much higher T when I was younger and the symptoms were killing me. Within about 3 weeks, I felt like my old self again.

Find another doctor or even go to a shady anti-aging clinic. Make sure they put him on testosterone injected at least once weekly (no less than 100mg/week, preferably 150 or 200), HcG (especially if you want kids), and an aromatize inhibitor.

I can recommend a place if you PM me. I can't guarantee they can help, but for me they've been pretty great.

jtown8673877158 · 2017-12-30T06:36:58+00:00

late reply to an old post, but, something else to consider since nobody's mentioned it if this isn't already resolved: consider eliminating or significantly reducing your own masturbation. Finding milder things more stimulating seems to be a common effect of doing that. "Submission fantasies" suggests influence from pornography or smut literature so consider stopping or reducing your use of those and sublimating that sexual energy instead into focus on your family. You could also consider trying some /r/karezza.

Best wishes for you and your family.

buk_lu_lu · 2017-12-17T01:48:44+00:00

Get him to the gym and sign him up for a boxing class. What you can do is start making high protein meals for him. Tell him to look up stronglifts - it's basic powerlifting that anybody can do and he can find tutorials on youtube. That will harden his body up in a couple of months. If he faps - tell him to lay off the fapping.

In my opinion it is only after he has tried to get healthy through diet and fitness that he should think about getting something like TRT from his doctor.

Title	Low T Hubby
Author	Grrrlyboymom
Upvotes	7
Comments	20
Date	December 14, 2017 6:09 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/7jtdvm/low_t_hubby/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/low-t-hubby.73918 https://theredarchive.com/post/73918

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