Newlywed experiencing anxious attachment

Wife_and_Mama · 2024-02-08T00:41:01+00:00

Have you tried pursuing your own hobbies? Instead of waiting for him to be interested in you, be interesting! You can teach yourself to crochet from YouTube for less than $10. You can read or listen to audiobooks for free from the library. You can get into politics, economics, or interior design in your scrolling time. If you have any yard at all, start a garden this spring. Then, when you find yourself in that awkward place, you'll actually have something to talk about. He'll have something to ask you about. It'll also help take your mind off your anxieties to focus on something you enjoy. Similarly, encourage his hobbies. Ask him about them, work, his friends. If you want someone to be interested, do the work to be interesting, but also, show interest as well.

youllknowwhenitstime · 2024-02-07T23:15:22+00:00

For context, do you think you're over the medication withdrawal symptoms now or are they still a factor?

StunningSort3082 · 2024-02-07T23:47:44+00:00

Did you live together before getting married?

beautyandbravo · 2024-02-08T00:32:01+00:00

I suggest looking into dbt and/or manifestation depending on what kind of person you are and what you’re into. Both have helped me, both have elements I take and some I leave but together they helped me overcome a similar issue several years ago.

Also recommend Laura Doyle surrendered wife if you haven’t already read. You may have to take some of the religious stuff with a grain of salt, I did, but I’ll attest that the perspective and techniques in that book can get you everything you want in life.

bitterespressobean · 2024-02-08T15:17:42+00:00

Honeymoon phase may be over for him, we’ve been together for quite a while, but it isn’t over for me. What can I do?

Also, how do you stop someone from running on autopilot if it really bothers you?

I don’t think he has too much game. He doesn’t really talk to other women from what I’ve seen. I also don’t think he’s gaslighting or blame shifting, he just seems kind of low and disengaged if that makes sense.

AutoModerator · 2024-02-07T23:05:19+00:00

Title: Newlywed experiencing anxious attachment

Author bitterespressobean

Full text: Super new to to this subreddit so forgive me in advance for not knowing much about the community. F(28) married to M(28) for a year and some. For context, I’m a high achiever, struggle with anxiety and self love. Recently I’ve been feeling like my husband just isn’t into me like he used to be. It seems like he doesn’t care about my opinion of him anymore, doesn’t put in the effort to have sex as often/be affectionate/attuned to conversations/generally want to hang out. We spend time together but it can be kind of awkward, we’ll have bits of good light-hearted conversation and then he’ll just be on his phone, playing games, texting his friends while I’m just waiting for him to be INTERESTED in me and pursue me. I think my role in it is that I’ve become kind of anxiously attached and I talk about my problems with him a lot. I wasn’t anxiously attached when we we were dating. Other than that, I don’t really see what it could be. Is he cheating on me? Does he still love me? Why do I feel like this? What can I do?

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reddishrobin · 2024-02-08T14:51:36+00:00

"I talk about my problems with him a lot"

Stop talking to him about all your problems for a start. That's what a therapist is for, do you have one? If not, get one. He is not your therapist and most of your conversations together should be positive and not focussed on you complaining about problems. Only bring a problem to him if you want him to provide a solution.

I agree you should get more hobbies to stop you sitting there pining for his attention.

RedPillDad · 2024-02-08T15:14:17+00:00

Honeymoon phase over? There's a shift from hot flame to a warm smolder that takes effort from both to sustain.

Slow institutionalization of hubby? He gets complacent and runs on autopilot. There's a tendency for men to slack off in marriage.

No game? A guy stopped all seduction effort once the is ring on is the equivalent of a woman packing on pounds.

Too much game? A woman can't relax around a highly seductive man who other women want.

Cheater behavior? Gas-lighting, blame-shifting, obsession with social media. Your intuition might be telling you that he's wandering.

ColeIsBae · 2024-02-09T05:54:23+00:00

Read “Getting To I Do” by Pat Anderson. I realize you’re already married but this book will explain everything you’re experiencing and change your life!!

Title	Newlywed experiencing anxious attachment
Author	bitterespressobean
Upvotes	21
Comments	41
Date	February 7, 2024 11:05 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1algjay/newlywed_experiencing_anxious_attachment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/newlywed-experiencing-anxious-attachment.1244847 https://theredarchive.com/post/1244847

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