Paying for a man

Kara__El · 2019-10-08T14:29:41+00:00

> i have know so many married couples where the woman earns more and pays more, but the husband cheats.

It's a leap to equate these two. My husband paid for everything while we were dating, in part for the sake of chivalry, but also because I was working two jobs with no benefits, until right after we got engaged and he made bank in oil. Now, he's left oil, so he can be home more and I make more money, because I have a master's degree. We have a joint account and don't discuss who makes more, because we're a team. We make our financial decisions together. If you limit yourself only to men who earn more than you do, you could be pricing yourself out of the market, depending on your field. You could also be raising kids alone while he works 80 hour weeks.

Regardless, your finances and careers are not stagnant. He might lose his job and you might find yourself working to support the family for a time. He might get hurt and have to go back to school for some certifications in a new field. He might find himself starting over in a new industry, making far less money, requiring you both to work. It would be a shame if you couldn't respect a hardworking, ambitious man in these scenarios, because money is so very much not everything.

Hammocknapping · 2019-10-08T13:54:03+00:00

What a revisionist, white-washed take on history! Women have always worked outside of the home. Let me say that one more time for the people in the back, women have always worked outside of the home.

melitele3 · 2019-10-08T11:19:03+00:00

I agree with the video.

There are many reasons why I think it is men who should provide. I also think it really matters what kind of priorities and goals you have in your life.

For me, my dream life is to have a safe, clean and cozy house with garden where I can grow my vegetables. To have a loving, strong marriage and well educated, healthy children. I also dream of having the possibility to develop many passions of mine: such as traveling, art and hiking. The biggest joy of my life is organizing and tending my home, cooking and serving my husband. No professional job has ever gave me more satisfaction than a smile on my husbands face. I have always dreamed of being a homemaker.

To be a homemaker, I need a provider. There is no way for me to fulfill this task, if I don't have the financial support of my spouse. So if a man can't pay for our dates, it means he isn't financially ready to be a provider and probably wants a woman to support him financially as the author of video has said. I am not interested in such men. I want a man who wants to provide and take care of his family and won't treat me like some business partner.

It also feels quite weird for me to pay for a man I am interested in, since I would expect him to be way more capable than me to make money - considering I have possible endometriosis and as the woman in the video said, other biological burdens. For me these things seem very masculine and I am just not that.

But maybe a woman who doesn't want to have children or finds biggest fulfillment in hard office work etc. and doesn't really like all the domestic chores doesn't mind a man who doesn't want to pay.

For me personally it feels weird though and I would feel as if my partner doesn't care about me as much or assumes I want to use him all the time and plays it safe.

my_chopin_liszt · 2019-10-08T11:44:26+00:00

It’s all about balance. What do you bring to the table and what does he bring to the table so that the relationship is harmonious.

There’s nothing wrong with really any choices you make as long you’re playing fair. If you want men to pay just so you can get free food and your bills paid without returning any type of favors, well, that’s not how this works.

Personally, I don’t have a problem with paying, but going half and half financially is not ok after marriage because I’m having babies, taking care of them, making all the dinners, packing lunches and doing the miscellaneous things that my husband isn’t doing so if I have to contribute half and half financially, that wouldn’t make any sense at all.

EDIT: Also, being a housewife means you work for your husband and family first and foremost. You are submissive to your husband and allow him to take the lead. My sister in law has always been the perfect example to me on this matter. She never worked for money but sacrifices so much for her husband and family. She’s not in it for herself to pursue her own interest, but her family comes first.

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2019-10-10T23:24:08+00:00

in my past relationships I have never paid for anything. Ever.

Ok, that’s a little much.

but now I am earning a significant amount more than my boyfriend. It decreased my respect for him as a provider

How much is a “significant amount”?
What is the point of having a provider when you can provide for yourself?
Why do you make so much money if you have no intention of using it?

This just makes no sense to me. Sure have your values, but why are you doing things that directly contradict those values? Like why do you care about your man as a provider if you intend to provide for yourself? Do you just want a man to swoop in and save you from your work life or something?

This is a very weird post to me, and I haven’t watched the video yet but it seems like it will be an equally weird video.

gimpgirl555 · 2019-10-08T16:32:08+00:00

1) The video is nonsense.

2) She's a scammer.

3) I have always paid for my husband. I would advise you to do the same for your man.

4) IMO men will cheat if you don't provide them sex with other women now and then.

5) If you can get your man to quit his job and stay home then he can't leave you.

6) Think about what will be important to you ten years down the line: getting provided for or having a man that can't leave you for a younger woman?

7) Remember: if he's providing for you then he can easily exchange you for someone else.

Title	Paying for a man
Author	egggwaffles
Upvotes	0
Comments	36
Date	October 8, 2019 8:10 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/dewzhq/paying_for_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/paying-for-a-man.289549 https://theredarchive.com/post/289549

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