Rough dating history

ArkNemesis00 · 2025-07-21T04:55:59+00:00

You are not your brain. When your brain is having unproductive thoughts, you are free to tell your brain to fuck right off and find something better to do.

It sounds like your current LTR is going fine, so it's not like this has derailed your life. I don't think there's much to gain from internalizing your ex's statements.

Brains don't like being bored. They don't like it so much that they start going on anxiety spirals just to entertain themselves with the drama. You have to retrain your brain to focus on more productive thoughts. When you feel this shame, try thinking to yourself about how there isn't much to be gained from going down this path and how there are other avenues of self-improvement that would be more beneficial for you to focus on.

You could also try a Catholic confession. You do not need to be Catholic to go to confession. Catholics have this so they can stop feeling guilt about the past and focus more on the future. It's a bit uncomfortable but tends to be rewarding. You can try to DIY the process at home; I suspect it would be less uncomfortable but less impactful.

CountTheBees · 2025-07-21T04:45:49+00:00

Has your current LTR given you grief for it? Or does he not care/never asked?

YoyoPeaches · 2025-07-21T03:56:18+00:00

your number of partners does not define your worth. I have spoken to men who have slept with 20-50 women lol.

you also don’t have to tell anyone your body count. That’s for you to know and you only.

AutoModerator · 2025-07-21T03:52:50+00:00

Title: Rough dating history

Author redditorvirgo

Full text: Struggling to reconcile my values with my actions/life for two years in my late 20s. After 2-3 long term relationships- I was equal parts scared of commitment yet desperate to not be alone and getting married on time, finally moving to a city with dating options and dating apps, I found myself being strung along by some, and thus not being sure where I stood/ and as a result going on dates /. Communicating with people who I would speak to for a couple months before sleeping with or 6-7 dates before… and things didn’t really work. As a result my “body count”’went up by 6 people in 2 years. I ended up being in a toxic relationship for 1.5 years with someone who shamed me for not committing to him early on and having this body count in two years. And now I am unable to move on from the shaming. How can I move on in my mind and feel worthy ( i am in a long term relationship now but this still haunts me) . Any advice?

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Hot-Tart7900 · 2025-07-26T01:50:35+00:00

Well in today’s standards your body count sounds low. It’s only an issue if you don’t grow from the experiences you had and keep attracting toxic people. I’m not a woman - but it seems that one of the hardest things to balance is how much you can vet and test a guy vs keep him from running away. Unfortunately men don’t value their word as much where they can handle such tests as easily so I think nowadays a woman has to be craftier in discerning whether a man is a good partner (or sincere to begin with) vs not. But I think this could be as simple as you realizing that shame is thinking that “I can do bad” and toxic shame is “I am bad.” If you are writing this you have to be honest about the fact that you couldn’t be the latter. Good luck!

Ok_Lychee1258 · 2025-07-22T16:15:29+00:00

You know what makes me absolutely livid about the whole "body count" discussion? Women are constantly shamed for something that, more often than not, stems from men refusing to commit or take responsibility. We live in a world where many men want access to women’s bodies without ever offering security, loyalty, or emotional presence — and yet somehow, we are the ones blamed for it. What’s even more infuriating is that the same men who won’t commit are usually the first to throw around judgment.

Here’s what you need to understand in your situation:

Your picker is off — and that’s OK, but it has to change. If you're constantly attracting or tolerating low-effort men, it's not because you're doomed — it's because you're not cutting them off fast enough, or you're not setting standards high enough. And honestly, that often comes back to self-esteem. You have to raise how you see yourself. That includes how you feel about your body count. Stop seeing yourself as “damaged” — because if you think you’re damaged, you’ll subconsciously tolerate men who treat you like you are. You want a man to treat you like a prize? Start walking like one, talking like one, being one. As cliché as that sounds — it’s real.
Sex is pleasure. You’re not wrong for wanting it. Men have sex all the time with people they barely care about, and it’s rarely held against them. Women, even when they’re more selective, are still shamed when things don’t work out. A huge part of this body count narrative is built to convince women they’re not allowed to enjoy sex unless it ends in commitment. Think about that. Internalize how warped that is.
Accept what you can't change — then decide what kind of woman you want to be now. Your number is still low. And even if it wasn’t — what matters now is whether you let it define you or free you.

If you’re feeling off, stop dating. Don’t distract yourself with more noise. Get your head straight, heal from the bad relationships and the self-loathing they left behind.

Clean slate. Start fresh. Come back stronger.

Title	Rough dating history
Author	redditorvirgo
Upvotes	6
Comments	18
Date	July 21, 2025 3:52 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1m58t3p/rough_dating_history/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/rough-dating-history.1557742 https://theredarchive.com/post/1557742

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