So, my boyfriend has an ex that he's known for 11-12 years and has dated for 4. He has told me he was in love with her once and she cheated on him but there are no feelings on his side anymore. But this girl continues to reach out to "catch up" and I've told him it makes me uncomfortable and I feel like she is following him like a cloud and it also makes me feel weary that he still feels this need to keep the door for friendship open.

Early in the relationship, he told me they were friends who would text each other and stuff which I didn't mind. But it's become clear to me that she's never going to go away. She asked if he could hang today and I told him I didn't want him to and he said "it's ok it's no big deal I can always catch up with her another time" and that just hit me really hard.

He says he's in love with me and I'm his life but when I asked him to end this friendship he protested and expressed that he didn't see the big deal. Having an ex in the picture has always been a deal breaker for me and I told him that. I wish I had known how much power she had before I entered this relationship and let myself love him.

Am I in the wrong? Is this wrong of me to ask? I just know myself and I know if she continues to be in his life then I can't be. I can't spend years with a person and have them go run off and catch up with an ex. I can't get married to someone and have an ex be at the wedding. I can't have kids and have my kids be friends with his ex's kids. I just can't. And I told him if this continues in a couple of months I'm going to have to leave the relationship.

He's acting like I'm trying to manipulate him but I want this to be his choice. Her or me and if it isn't me so be it but I don't want to waste time wondering where the most important relationship to him lies.

Tldr: i feel like my boyfriends friendly relationship with his ex is more important to him than our current relationship and our potential to have a phenomenal future

Edit: I pussed out and told him I'd find a way to deal with their friendship. I don't think we are at a level where he would choose to be in a relationship with someone who dictates who he can be friends with since he doesn't see anything wrong. I told him not to tell me I'm the most important person to him and his life unless he's willing to make that choice.