Still a problem

Gardrothard · 2017-02-21T09:33:09+00:00

I see where you're coming from, and what you asking makes a lot sense and honestly, I don't think that the answer is in the sidebar.

You see, the key here is that you don't need to be AWALT if you know that you are AWALT. It's not some prophecy or destiny, it's just an explanation of a woman's nature and its tendencies. But this knowledge will give you the ability to take better control of your emotions and behaviors.

For example, a woman who's not aware and increases her SMV/RMV when in relationship might decide that she's too good, or might see the insecurities of her boyfriend as "There's no love there anymore". When you know these principles you will see your behavior for what it really is, you will see that your emotions represent heuristics for some reproductive strategies that are no longer optimal; so instead of running around guided by your emotions you can see that they aren't masters of you, you are.

Another RP principle is that women tend to be unhappy with something all the time. I don't know if that's explicitly said, but even if not, it can easily be concluded from other things. This, again, puts you in the position of being above some petty emotions and urges. It will make you realize that the happiness lies in you.

You have posts on sidebar on what to do if your captain won't lead. But, as you become more feminine, you will see that your man is becoming more masculine. The increase in SMVRMV and dealing with his insecurities in a gentle and understanding way (instead of disgust) will most likely push him into improving himself too.

In the end, whom you love and what you love is all due to programming. Most people let the environment do the programming so it seems it's out of their control, but that's not the truth. When you master your emotions (and knowledge is the first step) you will be able to brainwash, program and guide your emotions and behaviors like a God.

Anyways, if your relationship already works, then it's indeed a good asking why should you change your perception of the world and yourself. Well, self improvement is a fun game to play. RPW game is challenging enough not to be boring, but it's something intrinsic in you, so it's not frustrating. You are missing on a lot of fun.

Eosei · 2017-02-21T19:28:32+00:00

Thank you /u/Gardrothard and /u/g_e_m_anscombe for you replies. I've thought of this more today. I hope you don't mind me using your replies as a sounding board of sorts... I hope you don't interpret this as me trying to argue against you or that I think you're wrong, I'm trying to use the words you used to better explore the thing that bothers me. I liked your replies.

When you know these principles you will see your behavior for what it really is, you will see that your emotions represent heuristics for some reproductive strategies that are no longer optimal; so instead of running around guided by your emotions you can see that they aren't masters of you, you are.

This I understand and agree with, I don't need to act on my emotions and I can - at least to an extent - consciously manipulate myself and guide my thoughts if they are counterproductive to what I want to achieve.

But this:

Most people let the environment do the programming so it seems it's out of their control, but that's not the truth. When you master your emotions (and knowledge is the first step) you will be able to brainwash, program and guide your emotions and behaviors like a God.

I don't think this is possible. I can control my behavior, but not my emotions. I can put in the effort to knowingly manipulate my environment and my thoughts to better trigger certain emotions, but I don't think I can directly manipulate the emotions. But let's say it's possible, if I learned how to master my emotions, good luck to him trying to captain a self-made god. What does a self-made god need a captain for, and a mere mortal at that.

It would be easy for me to get caught up in those things. --- But if I do that, I will fail to appreciate all the good things about him. --- If you can't do the sort of defense of your partner that I did above (where it's clear that his good qualities outweigh the bad), then you should consider that you have made a bad choice.

From this I have two thoughts. 1) It's possible to make long lists of positives in defense of anyone no matter what the objective reality is, and 2) the list has many beta things on it. Point 1) means that the good qualities can always clearly outweigh the bad, it only depends on how you form the lists. I understand it is most fruitful to focus on the positives, but that does not mean that everyone involved is not also aware of the negatives.

But number 2) is the bigger issue for me. A woman consciously focusing on a subjective list of positive beta traits of her husband, and then treating him as her alpha man, while simultaneously enhancing her own market value, is to me not unlike a gold digger waiting for a new branch to swing to. It seems like a lie. Who is the SMV/RMV increase for, really? "Just to make myself feel better", well the reason it feels better to you is because you know you are increasing your SMV, you're making sure you have options. Putting this together we have a woman fulfilling her fantasy of being the dream woman every man wants, and generously offering that to her beta man. It seems very vulnerable to her just changing her mind whenever.

I understand there may not be a better solution that would meet everyone's needs. But to me it seems like the way to dedicate myself to the relationship and to put him the number one and particularly to put my own tendencies to work for the relationship, would be to make sure my value is never higher than his, to make sure that I am dependent of him as much as possible, and particularly to not interact with other men who could give me ideas about what my/his true SMV/RMV is. Interaction with other men should be minimal, mostly to not use them as admirers, but also including even thinking about what other men might want. But that would be quite crazy, wouldn't it.

Another RP principle is that women tend to be unhappy with something all the time.

I know that if I left him for another man, I would just have a different litany of complaints.

This I agree with. I'm thinking the list of his good traits should be a very specific list to better secure the relationship. It should have things on it that are basically impossible to vet for in other men, impossible for other men even to achieve and impossible for him to lose. And it should not be beta traits.

Also:

If you think that improving yourself will make you not want to stay in your relationship, that says more about your choice in relationship than about RPW. You're right that leaving him increases your N-count, but it's better to have a one higher N-count than to stay with the wrong man.

I'm not criticizing RPW. Or maybe, but not like "I want to change RPW to only tell me what I want to hear", no. To me this thing that is bothering me is reality, and while I'd love to hear that the problem doesn't exist and I've imagined it, I'm not accusing RPW if it has to exist.

Absolutely my choice says about my choice, that's what it always comes back to. N-count is the last thing in my mind, roflmao, I believe the rule about N-count is: the number of penises that have been to your vagina only matters if larger than the number of heads that have come out of your vagina.

Title	Still a problem
Author	Eosei
Upvotes	9
Comments	24
Date	February 21, 2017 9:06 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/5vak5j/still_a_problem/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/still-a-problem.86997 https://theredarchive.com/post/86997

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