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mrsdb
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Funny, you should mention this.....BP men seem to be sitting back waiting for life to happen to them. Annoying.
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That the essence of male betatude, female-like hypoagency and generic submission to authority.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh wow, didn't realize that.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well, it's my theory. But think about it. What is it that truly makes a man "Beta", in the context of both male status hierarchies and relationships? Going along to get along, submitting to authority, not being a "man of action". In essence these are female traits, that's why women with more psychologically dominant traits run roughshod over them, the genesis of the "yes, dear" joke.
[–][deleted] 12 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]LadyLumen2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I've met many beta guys who state openly that they wish they were gay. It's sad when getting into a halfway okay relationship with an average woman is that hard.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
I've heard a lot of guys say this, and it sounds like a punishment to a heterosexual man. I'd rather wish for asexuality with minimal testosterone loss; there are over 300,000 species of plants on Earth, it might all be a matter of finding the one that lowers the right hormone(s) in the right way, the "soul-mate" of a scholar.
[–]LadyLumen0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If I could have any sexual orientation, I would wish for bi-sexuality. Unfortunately, people can be rather judgemental towards bisexuals. I've heard all kinds of stupid comments like, bisexuals are just sluttier than everyone else, they want attention, etc.
But I would pick bi-sexual because then I could have the most options.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've found evidence that sexual aversion ties into higher intelligence if there's a drive to learn, and evidence that excess sex doesn't necessarily bode well for intellect, all I care about is being more intelligent and I consider physical fitness connected to that. Some people are celibate for religious reasons and this year I've taken the mantra that knowledge is my god-- though the neuroscience textbook at the foot of my bed helps me fall asleep as much as it helps me learn.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is the entire premise of The Red Pill
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol.....I guess I'm having a light bulb moment.
[–]dreckmal 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I was the beta who 'lucked out' and got a chick who initiated. I spent 12 years thinking I got lucky. Boy was I wrong.
[–]DianaDewAsmr 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
May I ask what happened?
[–]dreckmal 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I fooled myself into believing that making someone else happy would make me happy.
I got one of those women who is on the aggressive side. She really is a good woman, and we both did ourselves a disservice by allowing me to be the 'man' in that relationship.
I wasn't ready for it yet. I had no direction, and you can't be captain without directions. I put her through her Master's Degree, and followed her 2.5 thousand miles to the first job she got.
You probably see where this is going. She wasn't aware of her selfishness (I don't necessarily mean it in a negative way), and I couldn't see it until it was far too late. I never saw my family or friends. I ended up working several shit jobs.
I had compromised myself for something I didn't really want. At all. I had to lose a bunch of things to learn what I actually wanted.
Eventually one of my best friends started up a small business, and I finally found my calling. I moved back across the US. Within a year I went from a just a bag of clothes to owning a house (It was a very cheap house, and it needs a shit load of work). My friends and family all live blocks away from me.
I have worked at that business for almost 4 years now. I spent almost 3 of those years trying to get her to move back here with me, but it wasn't to be. Our divorce was final at the beginning of this month.
It started in February. I had been reading TRP material for quite a while, and started having some severe mindset changes. We actually both decided to divorce at the same time. It was 100% amicable. We both made mistakes and each took a step closer to adulthood, in our early 30s.
I was wrong because I was fighting my nature. It lead me to be dishonest with her, but worse, with myself. It's a recipe for disaster, and this is the plight of our young men today. They are confused, and lack direction.
They are told it is not okay to be a man, and they believe it. Do not think for a second they don't believe it. Reddit likes to laugh at so called 'man guilt,' but it is fucking up our boys minds. I know, cause I was one of 'em.
Sorry for the rant. Have a good weekend ladies!
[–]DianaDewAsmr 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, I read everywhere it's not ok to simply enjoy things a man does and any desire he may have. I felt I lacked directions too on what kind of attentions to appreciate and which were useless or even worse damaging so I know exactly what you are talking about. It's ok, it's fine to rant every now and then.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Ok, since I'm here.....why do men ( no offense to the readers) have affairs instead of dealing with shit. I have a friend that is ready to bail on her marriage bc of this passivity.
[–]banditgirl 11 points12 points13 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Looking only at the specific question, and not the consideration that women also have affairs, I would say: because men like sex.
If a man has the opportunity to have sex with someone he sees as attractive and no strings, why would he put in effort to have sex with a wife who makes it difficult or impossible or not fun for him to have sex with her?
Of course this makes sense. Especially if women are a tad aggressive and pursue it's a no brainer.
[–]LadyKitten 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Men are apparently more prone to affairs because while women experience love and intimacy through hugs and kisses, men experience it through sex - the giving and receiving of pleasure.
If a woman was in a marriage where the man never said 'I love you', hugged or kissed her, you'd probably see her in an emotional affair with someone at work etc.
Those are my thoughts at least :)
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Omg, my friends h never says ilu or kisses.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Don't you know? Men who try to approach women are creeps. Rapey creeps. Also a guy wants to learn how to seduce women, he's a rapist. That's what reddit says.
[–]LadyLumen2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Yup, they are pretty much rapey creeps unless they are hot. There was a really funny youtube video about this a while ago, I can't for the life of me remember what it was called. But basically in the video, an average looking guy goes up to a woman in the bar and says, "hi, I just wanted to say that you're really pretty and I'd like to buy you a drink." The girl screams at him and calls him a creep, so he leaves.
Then a few seconds later, a much better looking and confident guy with a suit on goes up to the bartender and says, "an appletini" (or some kind of drink) "for the lady." She's flattered. And then this guy starts talking about all sorts of creepy stuff, like how good she looked when he was stalking her earlier that day, and she's just like "Oh Shut up you didn't, lol!" And then they go off to have sex, while the average guy is like "Are you shitting me?"
Can't remember the name of this video, but it was hilarious.
[–]LadyLumen0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Oh, here it is!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbeEuYAZFL4
[–]LadyLumen0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I think to some degree AWALT, just not to that degree. Obviously this video is exaggerating a clishe, but RPW are just as prone to do the things that other women do, we're just more self aware about it.
[–][deleted] 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]MrsKittenHeel 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeppers.
[–]MrsKittenHeel 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can't speak for all women but I definitely do this. I am married but regardless I am super reactive based on appearance and personality. I wish it weren't true but I can't help it.
Male or female if you look and behave like a drip then I think you are a creep and I don't want to spend time with you.
Sorry not sorry :P
[–]SirNemesis 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Better still is RSD Tyler, who shows a real life example of "beta male shaming": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGEO6ig8WsM
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Omg, I have a close friend her H had a couple of affairs. I think they are at stale mate too much bad blood. She is somewhat RP.....but kinda remembers all the details. How does she forgive and move past this BS?
2! Forgive, get her head examined.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link
Alright ladies, What's the best way to deal with a husband that never says ILY nor is affectionate? Is it game over?
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Can you be a bit more specific? Is this your husband, or the husband of a friend?
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Actually it's my sisters friend at work. Well, her H. He never has said ILY , no affection. Sex yes....maybe 2x a month. Seems odd, to me. According to her he's never really verbalized, she thought that's how men are but as time goes by and she see how other couples interact....she's upset. I think she been in denial, embarrassed.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Just he's not expressing affection in the way that she wants doesn't mean he isn't affectionate. He could be showing he cares in other ways (fixing problems, working to provide financially). Is she really affectionate towards him?
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
No, she's waiting it out.
[–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Does she not see how that's hypocritical? She's waiting it out, but why would that make him actually want to show her any effort? As Phantom said it's easily possible he shows his affection by providing for her and taking care of the bigger issues. This is where it's hard for females to actually think rather then listen to their feelings because they would rather have the affection they want and omit the fact that if he is providing etc that it isn't affection..when that's the realest affection you can get from a person. Obviously you haven't disclosed enough information for that to be the case directly, but it's pretty typical in general.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Just to be clear she's cooking , cleaning,pleasant, dressing nice taking care of business. Just not initiating affection.
[–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's her daily grind, that's what she's supposed to be doing. Relationships take work, not tit for tat which is exactly what this sounds like.
Just to be clear is he taking care of his duties? Has he ever been affectionate in the ways she now wants? If not, it's quite possible that his actions for her and getting things done is his form of affection. She should also stop looking into other relationships then comparing them to her own.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
So she's "combating" his lack of affection by being distant herself?
I think this discussion would be more productive/accurate if you could convince your friend to create an account and make a post.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I don't think she'd ever come here. She's a very private person. I think she just takes cues from him. If he's quite, she's quiet.
[–]little_red_ 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
She's not being affectionate in the way he appreciates (physical affection) so why would he put forth the effort to appease her (emotional affection)? She's withholding sex because she doesn't feel like her needs are being met. Both parties are going to starve in this case.
She's not withholding. Just waiting...
[–]little_red_ 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
shes waiting for him to give her more emotional affection? and once he gives her more emotional affection she will be done 'waiting' and then she will reciprocate by giving him sex more
shes witholding physical affection from him as a form of punishment while 'waiting' for him to give her more emotional affection. that is destructive behavior for a relationship.
[–][deleted] 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
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