Hey!! I’m a sophomore in college, and I’ve been lurking on this reddit for a few months. I’ve read countless posts and books (The Surrendered Single, etc), and it’s helped me realize that I should be focusing more effort into increasing my SMV and RMV.

To increase my SMV, I’ve adopted a more feminine fashion style and started carrying myself with more poise. To increase my RMV, I’ve started learning how to cook. I’ve learned how to be more receptive and supportive and less aggressive, though this is an ongoing process, and I have slipped regretfully sometimes.

However, I have not learned how to vet properly. At the end of the school year last year, I started letting a guy pursue me, and I was receptive to his advances. He seemed to want to move very quickly at first. However, he then became confused and withdrew because he refused to reject me or commit to me fully. At the same time, his best friend (who had always creeped me out) confessed that liked me and was more certain in his feelings in that regard. I decided to essentially burn my bridges with both, because it sounded like a trainwreck waiting to happen.

Starting last month, this guy has been pursuing a friend of mine, and I think she reciprocates those feelings. They hang out all the time now, and it is uncomfortable for me because she has been hanging around me more to deepen our friendship, and I really want to avoid any more drama.

I think the problem is that I didn’t vet this guy better. How do I properly vet people next time, and how else can I avoid such drama?