Weekly Self-Reflection Thread: 21/12/15

fhigurethisout · 2015-12-21T19:27:44+00:00

my sole goal this week is to ACCEPT, PROMOTE AND INTERNALIZE the concept of shutting the fuck up.

ControlYourselfSrsly · 2015-12-21T12:55:17+00:00

Hooray!

This past week was a pretty big success for me! I cleaned the whole house, top to bottom, and topped it off with a dinner party and cookie baking extravaganza with my best girlfriends. Our husbands had a blast drinking beer and burning stuff in the fire pit.

My wonderful husband was so good while I was getting the house ready. I would get a little snippy, immediately apologize, and he would remind me that these were my best friends and they wouldn't care what the house looked like. It was funny though, because I was only deep cleaning the house in anticipation of holiday travel. We both hate coming home to a grungy house!

I spent a lot of time last week working on crochet and wrapping presents and such. It was the most productive week I have had in a while, despite work stress, and I couldn't have done it without my hubs.

I always wanted to be able to host a dinner party well, and with hubs entertaining while I cooked and made drinks, our first one together was a huge success! RPW, making dreams come true. Lol

valleycupcake · 2015-12-23T00:53:18+00:00

The respect my husband needs is strongly tied in with his love language of words of affirmation. I will not assume that he knows that I'm thankful for him. I will tell him. I think I've let it slide without realizing it, because a simple compliment does not seem like enough for him--he wants lists and details of exactly why I like the things he does. This is a bad reason and I will not let it happen anymore.

fhigurethisout · 2015-12-21T10:03:45+00:00

Woww this week wasn't easy but I think I handled it OK!

the good:

Christmas shopping was finished pretty early last week!
Stuck to a really good diet and my eating goals mostly
Got out of my rut (thanks Tempest, zinc is helping I think lol)
Tried to sleep more when I could!
Didn't escalate my mom's bad mood (was very tempted to give her a "piece of my mind" for some childish behaviour she's been parading around)
Had some great convos with my boyfriend. Had an awesome time at his work party and managed to stop being anxious about his ex being there (which she actually wasn't, he told me after). It sounds cheezy but I seriously feel more and more in love with him every time we are together. Coming up to one year. :) Can't believe it.

not so good:

Could actually use some feedback here, I'm not sure if I handled this appropriately?

Anyway, we went to my sister's birthday at a pub/club after his work party. When my boyfriend went to the bathroom, my sister had me holding her beer while she took photos of friends (which seemed like forever).

I got hit on by some sleazebags pretty much after one minute of my SO being gone. A dude asked me to sit on his lap and another touched my butt. I pushed him away quite aggressively (already annoyed by lap dude lol), told him to back off, and spilled some of my sister's drink. At that point I was furious and also snapped at my sister to take her beer and marched off to the bathroom, since my partner hadn't come back. I texted him.

I told him about lap dude, who had left. He was not happy and wanted to find lap dude. I didn't tell him about the butt guy. My partner was not very sober at this point and I did not want to start an escalation. Seeing his reaction from lap-dude, I figured butt-dude would be even worse and it would not end well.

I stayed very close with him the rest of the night. We tried dancing a bit but then some Irish dude made a pretty rude comment towards me too, in front of my partner. Something like "don't mind him [my boyfriend], I'll take care of you". Partner had a pretty firm talking with him. We left, a bit annoyed by the whole atmosphere.

The next day I told him about butt-dude, explaining I didn't tell him because I thought it might escalate. He was really angry, and admitted that he probably would have punched him.

At first he said I should've told him right away and seemed pretty pissed with me. He changed his mind after I explained that I thought it might lead to an unnecessary bar fight.

My sister's friends who were there are VERY aggressive and get in bar fights a lot. I believe butt-dude was a friend and he would've gotten them all involved. After an acquaintance getting stabbed and dying in a bar fight, I do not want these confrontations snowballing. They are so unnecessary and awful. I can't imagine someone playing dirty and taking out a knife on my partner.

Anyway, once he cooled off, we ended up having a really good discussion and made a plan for when we end up in these stupid places (I hate clubs lol):

Minimize these situations from happening to begin with. If he's going to the bathroom, I will go to the bathroom too. If I'm waiting, I will keep my back to a wall to minimize drunk sleazy hands from touching me.
I must tell him everything that happens from now on, right away. As a result, he will confront the said sleazeball in a mature manner but do his best to avoid an escalation.

Does anyone else have any other tips for minimizing this problem? We were both pretty frustrated and I was surprised that the Irish dude still made a pass even though I was clinging onto my boyfriend's arm. People seriously have no decency in these places. i never go clubbing or pubbing so i always feel a bit shocked by the behaviour.

rpvelvetcupcake · 2015-12-21T18:05:23+00:00

Hell week is over! I'm so happy finals are done. It feels weird to have nothing to study for though lol

So I've been neglecting the gym due to studying and finals. This will change though since I have nothing school related going on.

I've been really mindful of my stress lately. I've been upping my Vitamin D and C intake. I feel a lot better now and I think the lack of physical activity had a role in how I felt.

Due to differing schedules, I haven't gotten to see the man I've been going out with for a while. He's always been initiating contact with me and expressing interest during this time. Goodness, I'm not even anxious about it all and I'm just happy things have been progressing slowly and I've been following the advice here so I've been content in focusing on myself foremost as there is no relationship to worry about right now.

This week I'm preparing on cooking and baking my butt off with my sister for the family Christmas gathering. There's around 40+ of us so all of the relatives will be busy preparing dishes. I'm looking forward to it all because it's a much needed break from school and work :)

Littleknownfacts · 2015-12-21T18:31:55+00:00

My goals from last week were to exercise everyday and to keep an eye out for cynical thoughts. I achieved the workout goal, but just barely, so I'm adjusting my workout schedule to include one evening workout on Mondays to give me a bit more time to recover from my weekend push. As for the cynicism, I haven't noticed anymore, but I'll try to log it for another week and see if anything turns up.

My new goal is to make it a whole day without asking my SO to do something. He's so helpful and sweet and I feel like I'm taking advantage of that every time I ask him to pull something from the freezer because I forgot or when I ask him to pick me up from work because I don't want to take the bus. I'm sure all of my little requests get annoying for him, so I'd like to give him a whole day off from them.

PremiumGoose · 2015-12-22T02:30:08+00:00

Good things recently:

I commented here a few weeks ago about trying to be supportive when I vehemently disagree with my SO's life decisions. Following everyones council I kept it to myself and got over it. Things have been much better since! He is an adult with a good head on his shoulders so I gotta let him see his decisions through to the end. If we were in each other's place I wouldn't want to hear negativity either.

Got out ALL the cards and gifts on time :) it's a first!

The bad: Male coworker hit on me pretty blatantly telling me I should come spend the night after everyone knows I have a boyfriend. Still am super pissed about it because I work hard to make sure I never seem like I'm available, unhappy, or looking for someone else. Thinking back once he made a comment about my butt looking good but it was just very flat, matter-of-fact sounding so I didn't say anything. Should've crushed it right then and there. Lesson learned but still unsure what to say to him. Have half a mind to make an embarrassing scene but I know that won't jive with maintaining feminine frame.

littleteafox · 2015-12-23T16:55:44+00:00

This week I am tentatively sticking my toes into the beginning of a possible relationship that I'm a bit nervous about. It's with someone in my martial arts group and I really, really do not want it to effect both of our ability to perform during class or disrupt the group dynamic (our group is fairly tight knit). I keep worrying, "What if it doesn't work out and it makes class awkward?" "I don't want us to become the center of gossip town" etc etc.

Yet I do feel appreciative that I can go into this with RPW knowledge in my corner :) And the guy, as far as I know so far (I've known him for 6 months or so as a friend) is decent captain material. He has both alpha and beta qualities. He goes to the gym every morning, he is a strong leader and teacher, he is very kind and thoughtful and has a great sense of humor. We're both on the same page as far as what we're looking for in a relationship right now. He has been coming on a bit stronger than I am used to which is taking some getting used to on my part, though. We were casually talking the other day about wanting kids, wanting to settle, etc. The next week he's sent me pictures of him playing with his nephew and talking about upgrades he's making to his house, haha. When we get near each other it's like I can feel our souls smiling at each other (yeah yeah, I know, cutesy barf but that's the best way I can describe it). We're going to hang out alone together for the first time tonight (away from the rest of the group in a non-class setting) so we'll see how that goes. It might just feel weird because classmates have been on my "forbidden" list for so long now!

My goal is to get through the holidays, and current crazy work stress, in one piece and enjoy some time off to relax!

Naughty list: I still need to figure out a gift for a friend at work and I just keep drawing up blanks. I'll probably just wander around the mall and hope to get inspired. Bad me :(

Title	Weekly Self-Reflection Thread: 21/12/15
Author	fhigurethisout
Upvotes	9
Comments	15
Date	December 21, 2015 9:47 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/3xopm0/weekly_selfreflection_thread_211215/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/weekly-self-reflection-thread-211215.85852 https://theredarchive.com/post/85852

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