I'm not sure if this is particularly above the pay grade of this sub but I got divorced recently from an abusive marriage. I probably need to clarify that I'm already actually completely over him and I'm not experiencing any dysfunction (like depression, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, numbness, etc.) that wasn't already present before marriage ( I have ADHD). I'm pretty healthy rn, currently looking for online jobs, improving my fitness, and have a strong vision and motivation for the future I've always wanted.

That said, before marriage, I feel like I was very emotional, cried easily, was bubbly, excitable and airy, almost. Now, about a month and a half after the divorce, I still see a hint of all of the above, but I read a comic page just now and everybody in the comments was saying how they cried or bawled. I don't really cry easily anymore, even when I see something extremely devastating or heart warming. I haven't been particularly excited about anything for months, and I definitely wouldn't describe myself as bubbly anymore. I'm a lot more focused and determined but honestly, the kind of man I'm looking for is the kind of man who would thrive with an emotionally sensitive and receptive woman, who has that sort of endless life in her extending out. I feel like I'm just...blocked somehow. Anybody have any idea what's going on? Because otherwise, I really am just not really going through anything. I feel like I exchanged my life for extra drive or something. Like you know the super conscientious people also tend to have leveler heads stereotypically? Yeah...