12 Steps to Self Care: A redpill perspective.

NO_LAH_WHERE_GOT · 2015-07-10T15:03:54+00:00

Here's my refinement of the 12 points. I mean no disrespect– this is just my interpretation. I've thought about this a lot and would like to share. May the upvotes and downvotes determine their veracity.

If it feels wrong, don't do it. When your girl is trying to shit test you, or when someone is trying to manipulate you. Don't fucking do it. Stand up for yourself or be a pussy.

Stand up for yourself, yes. But recognize that the gut, while full of useful information that you SHOULD listen to, isn't necessarily always correct. Avoid shit tests, and recognize when you're being manipulated. But there are instances where it makes sense to lay low and bide your time, waiting for a more opportune moment to act.

Say "exactly" what you mean. Learn to be an up-front kind of guy. You always say what you want to say. People like to listen to you because you speak the truth.

I'd refine this by saying, before all else, STFU. Think carefully before you speak. There will be a lot of stupid ass shit that you will want to say. Think it through first. Think about how it will be interpreted. Remember that people have different points of view, different agendas. Personally, I used to be an "always speak the truth no matter the cost" man. I got burned for it, even by regular folks. People would perceive that I had an agenda even when I didn't.

Think before you speak.

Don't be a people pleaser This one is self explanatory. Be your own man with your own opinions. Nobody respects a people pleaser.

The impulse to please others is worth examining. Amusingly, "nobody respects a people pleaser" is statement that argues that you should do X... because of what other people think.

We're social animals. We're wired to care about each other, that's how our ancestors survived.

The trick is to focus on surrounding yourself with the right people. Find peers you respect and admire.

Trust your instincts In other words, learn to trust your gut. You're probably right. AWALT and people will fuck you over if you give them the chance. Confident people trust their instincts. You are a confident person. Go with your intuition.

Your instincts can sometimes be wrong. LISTEN to your instincts, but evaluate the costs and benefits. Life isn't just about being right more than being wrong– it's about being right when it COUNTS, and avoiding being wrong when it's catastrophic. Read Nassim Taleb's Antifragile. You want to be Antifragile.

Remember, herd mentality is driven by guts and instincts.

Never speak bad about yourself This is the fucking problem with our generation of pussy males. Pussies act defeated and put themselves down. A real man knows he's the motherfucking shit. You are the prize, motherfucker.

The challenge is to be as calm, objective and neutral as possible. You may not actually be the motherfucking shit. You may not actually be the prize. Avoid saying nasty things about yourself.

Think of yourself as your own parent. You wouldn't say nasty things to a child, but you wouldn't praise him silly, either.

Create an environment when you can be objective with yourself. Study your life as if it were natural phenomena. And study the evidence.

Never give up on your dreams Learn a skill. Play an instrument. Do whatever the fuck you want, because chasing your dreams is important. It makes you want to put in the work. Learn to enjoy work, because being ambitious will put you ahead of others. Your dreams are what keep you going. If your dream is to fuck a lot of bitches, go to the gym, get a haircut, buy some new clothes and get out there. If your dream is to make a lot of money, go work your ass off in school. Go work your ass off starting a business, or playing a sport. Chasing your dreams makes you a better man. If gives you inner fire. It shows dedication. It makes you better as a person.

Write down your dreams and evaluate them. I just did this exercise with a friend recently who was really in a funk. I told him to list 10 crazy, impossible things that he would like to have accomplished. Initially he was hesitant, but I goaded him and he started listing things like AR tech and Space Elevators. The important thing then is to evaluate these dreams to see what they tell you about you. What is it about the dream that is appealing to you?

When you find out these things about yourself, you'll be able to navigate reality better. "Follow your dreams" can be a bit of a blunt, blind statement. I like how Paul Graham talks about it– he says to be Relentlessly Resourceful. Be like a a Linebacker– you're running towards the target, but you may sometimes have to go sideways, sometimes maybe even a little backwards. If you run into a barrier, powering through may not be an option.

Evaluate yourself, your environment, your dream. Ask yourself why you have the dream that you do. You may find that you were actually being rather vague (Eg you may want to be a journalist, but really you just want to write for a broad audience– so turns out you don't need to go to journalism school, you can be a popular blogger instead. Just an eg.)

Don't be afraid to say "No." Just say "NO" if somebody is trying to make you a bitch. Have a backbone. If you don't want to do it, then just don't do it.

But, as always, think it through.

Don't be afraid to say "Yes." Say "Yes" in the right situation. Be a person who accepts the good things in life.

Ditto.

Be kind to yourself A lot of men get defeated. Don't get defeated and don't say anything bad about yourself. Instead of criticizing yourself, go out and FIX the problem because YOU'RE A MAN. Men don't complain and whine about themselves. If you don't like your haircut, go out and get a better one. If you don't like your body, go to the gym and LIFT, man. Why would you waste time beating yourself up? You identified the problem, trusted your instincts, and then FIXED the problem. Isn't that better than complaining?

Yup. Again, think of yourself as your own parent.

Let go of what you can't control Otherwise known as "Fuck it." Just say "Fuck it" and move on. None of that shit is important in your life, I promise.

Mmhmm.

Stay away from drama and negativity You are a positive person. Your life is great and it keeps getting better. Why would you want to waste time with negativity in your life? Do not allow anyone to pollute your life with their fucking bullshit.

Mmhmm.

LOVE It's important to love. Your family, your friends, and your women. Be passionate. People care about you. Build connections and let people in sometimes. You're a boss, people want to know you. Let the right people into your life as close friends. Always keep your family close. And remember, sometimes you need to show the ladies love too. Being the man is always priority number one, but real men show love to their women when it is deserved.

"Looking back over a lifetime, you see that love was the answer to everything." – Ray Bradbury

Dueperdue · 2015-07-10T11:52:13+00:00

While I do agree with most points, this seems a bit too mushy for me.

rippedsteel · 2015-07-10T15:21:37+00:00

Great post. The one I have the most trouble with is the last one. It seems that I am alienating my friends. Am I too needy? Should I make new friends? I certainly don't want to be a lone wolf, but I will do things alone if necessary. I guess I expect more out of others. For instance, I put "x" into a friendship, but assume that they will return that same "x" back to me. However, they do not. This is where I trip up. I don't have any friends now and quite frankly it sucks. But I'm not going to piss and moan about it for too long. I want to make myself better and attract others that are similar to myself. Thanks again for the post.

thrway1312 · 2015-07-10T21:12:11+00:00

Never speak bad about yourself

I dunno, the occasional self-deprecating A&A seems pretty favorable in my experience -- then again I hold a fairly laid back/enjoy humor frame so it's not out of place...

Zeparic · 2015-07-10T17:58:13+00:00

If it feels wrong, make someone else do it. And then take the credit.
Use selective honesty, never reveal your intentions.
Don't be so eager to demonstrate your prowess, make others work for you.
Expect the worst in everyone.

etc etc

Title	12 Steps to Self Care: A redpill perspective.
Author	afbbafbbafbb
Upvotes	105
Comments	23
Date	July 10, 2015 8:05 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3crywp/12_steps_to_self_care_a_redpill_perspective/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/12-steps-to-self-care-a-redpill-perspective.34545 https://theredarchive.com/post/34545

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