Intro:

I know, I know.

This isn’t the first post on Approach Anxiety you’ve ever seen online.

The truth is, getting over your fear of talking to strangers and building up a tolerance for rejection is NOT easy.

This is one of those things that plagues some guys for their entire lives, and honestly prevents them from really going after the women they want.

And I’m gonna be honest with you.

Even the biggest psychopaths and Cluster B personalities you’ve ever met have experienced approach anxiety at some point or another…

It’s just not something that people are trained to do – especially growing up in the US.

We all have it, the only thing that separates us is the degree of approach anxiety we have starting out.

So with that being said, this post is not for intermediates who already have that built in tolerance for cold approaching and are now looking for strategies to raise their conversion rates.

This is for guys who lean on the severe end of the approach anxiety spectrum who have read other content online about how to man up and overcome approach anxiety without much success.

Body:

If that’s you, you may want to consider these 3 Unconventional Strategies that worked for me in the past:

1. Write down every single one of your worst fears about Cold Approach. It doesn’t matter if it’s irrational, write every single one down.

For example, one of my fears was getting arrested by the police. Another fear was getting laughed at in public by everyone around me after getting rejected.

A third fear was getting secretly recorded and put on YouTube for the whole world to mock.

I realize that none of these fears are rational but that’s the whole point of this exercise. Write down what in your mind, the absolute worst case scenario is that’s holding you back from doing cold approach.

Now, once you have this list of Worst Fears written down, come up with a counter-strategy to deal with every single one if it should come up.

For example, my fear of getting arrested by the police is countered by my strategy of having a prepared response in case the girl got distressed. “Hey, I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean any harm, my apologies again” or simply having a really well prepared Lie to tell the police like, “Hey, all I came for was to ask for directions, I have no idea why she’s acting like this” and practice over and over again until it sounds natural.

For my fear of getting laughed at in public by everyone around me, the counter strategy was to have a good line for the audience in case that ever happened (hint: it never happens, people don’t give a shit about you, they only care about themselves). “Hey, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take!” Another counter strategy would simply be to avoid approaching in areas where there’s a lot of other people around, for example, doing park or street approaches as opposed to mall approaches.

For my fear of getting secretly recorded and put on YouTube, the counter strategy was to embrace the infamy and leverage that towards earning an online income. The truth is, it’s really fucking hard to go viral. I’ve known people who have been trying to go viral their entire lives with no success. So the right counter strategy would be to view going viral as a blessing that can be directly leveraged into earning an income online by directing traffic towards some product.

Once you have counterstrategies (that you actually believe in) for each possible worst fear, you eliminate the logical basis for your fear of cold approach, which is the first step towards overcoming that fear. Keep in mind, it doesn’t matter if the solution you have in mind doesn’t make sense to anyone else, the only important thing is that it resonates with you.

2. Buy a Virtual Reality Headset for $20 (Look up Google Cardboard)

One of the best ways to overcome phobias I've ever seen.

You can find free Virtual Reality videos on YouTube just by searching for what you're looking for + 360 VR.

Practice Cold Approaching girls before you go out by looking up 360 VR videos of parties, music festivals on YouTube or… (don’t get too carried away here… 360 VR videos of girls on Pornhub)

The 360 VR headset makes it look like the girl is right there in front of you so if you can approach and deliver your line to her, it’s not that big of a leap to chat up a girl in person in the future.

Just make sure you use this as the training tool it actually is and not get carried away on Pornhub…

3. Intentionally blurring your vision (Wearing sunglasses, or removing your glasses/contacts if you wear them)

Finally, last but not least, I find that even when guy psych themselves up as much as humanly possible at home, when it’s actually time to approach in person, the butterflies get the best of them.

And the explanation is that at home, there aren’t any other people around.

It’s much harder in person because there’s usually other people around you and the girl you’re trying to approach…

So naturally, you fear judgment, an element that’s impossible to replicate on 360 VR videos or to eliminate no matter how many counter strategies you come up with.

The solution I found is to intentionally find some way to see less clearly.

That’s right, by blurring your vision in some way, you’ll be a lot more likely to approach, since you won’t see those other people in your peripheral vision at all.

Eventually you’ll realize that nobody gives a shit about your stupid approach anyways, but starting out, I know that it’s a fear holding a lot of people back from making that first approach.

Take your glasses off if you have bad vision, or wear sunglasses if you have good vision and get that first approach in.

You’ll find it isn’t nearly as bad as you thought it’d be.

Most girls are respectful, even in rejection.

And once that first approach is taken care of, it’s significantly easier to do the second approach, then the third approach, and so on.

Conclusion

So what are you waiting for?

Let’s get that ball rolling today. Come up with some counterstrategies and come up with a deadline to do your first several cold approaches.

Start out small. Your first approach doesn’t have to be a masterpiece in seduction. Simply going up to a guy and asking him for directions is a win. After that, going up to a woman you’re not attracted to and asking for directions…

Then going up to a woman you are attracted to and asking for directions…

Then transitioning from asking for directions to making a cold read about them or asking them about their day. Gradual exposure to fear is one of the best ways to actually kick off a good day of approaching if you still find you have severe approach anxiety even with all of these unconventional fixes.

See you on the other side!